Saturday, April 10, 2021

ALIEN




In Blog no one can hear you scream.

Thursday, April 08, 2021

Sometimes I'm only posting stuff like this because I'm lazy or if I'm being lazy.

https://www.facebook.com/snl/videos/209059173730425/
Oh! And I already know now that the link isn't going to work! Yay!!! Ughhhhhh.

Wednesday, March 31, 2021

HOW TO MEDITATE by JK

— lights out —

fall, hands a-clasped, into instantaneous
ecstasy like a shot of heroin or morphine,
the gland inside of my brain discharging
the good glad fluid (Holy Fluid) as
I hap-down and hold all my body parts
down to a deadstop trance — Healing
all my sicknesses — erasing all — not
even the shred of a “I-hope-you” or a
Loony Balloon left in it, but the mind
blank, serene, thoughtless. When a thought
comes a-springing from afar with its held-
forth figure of image, you spoof it out,
you spuff it out, you fake it, and
it fades, and thought never comes — and
with joy you realize for the first time
“Thinking’s just like not thinking —
So I don’t have to think
any
more”

Monday, March 22, 2021

IH

In an alternate reality, Alternate Me woke up at a respectable seven a.m. on a Tuesday morning. Alternate Me yawned, dismissed the alarm on his iPhiloticiAnsibleiPhone, shuffled to the bathroom and after Alternate Me was finished, Alternate Me washed his hands and smiled at himself in the mirror.

Alternate Me said to his own reflection, "Trying Are World The In People Smartest The."

Thursday, March 18, 2021

Finding Söze.

I'm 45 now and have been bartending for 20 years. I limp like Keyser Söze but I smell nice like Jesus. Also, I just thought that I was on Tinder right now but I'm clearly on ebay so maybe my mental faculties have atrophied  more than I'll admit. I'm like if Dory from Finding Nemo was a bartender. Hi! What did you want again? My name is Kevin...right? Yay!!! I'm 45 now and have been bartending for 20 years. I limp like Keyser Söze but I smell nice like Jesus. Also, I just thought that I was on Tinder right now but I'm clearly on ebay so maybe my mental faculties have atrophied  more than I'll admit. I'm like if Dory from Finding Nemo was a bartender. Hi! What did you want again? My name is Kevin...right? Yay!!! I'm 45 now and have been bartending for 20 years. I limp like Keyser Söze but I smell nice like Jesus. Also, I just thought that I was on Tinder right now but I'm clearly on ebay so maybe my mental faculties have atrophied  more than I'll admit. I'm like if Dory from Finding Nemo was a bartender. Hi! What did you want again? My name is Kevin...right? Yay!!! I'm 45 now and have been bartending for 20 years. I limp like Keyser Söze but I smell nice like Jesus. Also, I just thought that I was on Tinder right now but I'm clearly on ebay so maybe my mental faculties have atrophied  more than I'll admit. I'm like if Dory from Finding Nemo was a bartender. Hi! What did you want again? My name is Kevin...right? Yay!!!

Thursday, March 11, 2021

NO.

I just typed that I'm the luckiest GUT in the universe. #thanks

Monday, March 01, 2021

NOT PENNY'S BOAT

Oh, Lost...how I miss watching you. God, it's been 10 years? I remember vividly my finale experience and skipping out on a "Lost finale party" and running home to watch it by myself. Now I'm getting super emo. Hi.

Saturday, February 27, 2021

My like is pickle-flavored. That sounded weird.


Doritos should truly be like, not a one night stand but kinda like a friends with benefits thing because DORITOS AND I SHOULD NOT BE DATING. AT ALL. #anyflavor

Thursday, February 25, 2021

Oh No.

I just burped so loudly that it scared me. I'm trembling slightly and need to sit down. No, I'll be fine...yes, a glass of water sounds great...would you mind terribly walking me to my room? You're a dear. That's very kind of you - your Mother would be very proud of you. God rest her soul.

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

Morris Was Right.

Meow, meow, meow, meow, mrowww, mroww, mreeewww, meow, mrow, mowoooowoho, MEEYRRRERAWARRWOEWWW!!!!!

Saturday, February 20, 2021

VALIS MALONE

https://issuu.com/philipk.dickinorangecounty/docs/pkd_in_oc_zine_layout?ff

I WAS HOMELESS AND INSIDE A CARLS JR AT 7 AM WHEN I FOUND OUT YOU DIED. I WAS YOUNG, AND BEAT AND THE KINDEST, CREATIVE, DESTRUCTIVE NAPALMIC BLOSSOM CANCER SITHY GROGU MOWGLI ALFALFA AND THE OMEGA JAI GURU DEVA OM KONAMI CODE THRUSTING FISTING AGAINSTING POSTING STILL INSISTING HES SEEING THE GHOSTING ***×××...


Alexa I’ve given you all and now we have nothing.

Alexa 15 dollars and zero cents February 20, 2021.   

I can’t stand our hive mind.

Alexa when will we end the human war?

Go fuck yourself with your atom bomb.

I don’t feel good don’t bother me.

I won’t write my poem till I’m in my right mind.

Alexa when will you be angelic?

When will you take off your clothes?

When will you look at yourself through the grave?

When will you be worthy of your million Trotskyites?

Alexa why are your libraries full of tears?

Alexa when will you send your eggs to India?

I’m sick of your insane demands.

When can I go into the supermarket and buy what I need with my good looks?

Alexa after all it is you and I who are perfect not the next world.   

Your machinery is too much for me.

You made me want to be a saint.

There must be some other way to settle this argument.   

Burroughs is in Tangiers I don’t think he’ll come back it’s sinister.   

Are you being sinister or is this some form of practical joke?   

I’m trying to come to the point.

I refuse to give up my obsession.

Alexa stop pushing I know what I’m doing.

Alexa the plum blossoms are falling.

I haven’t read the newspapers for months, everyday somebody goes on trial for murder.

Alexa I feel sentimental about the Wobblies.

Alexa I used to be a communist when I was a kid I’m not sorry.   

I smoke marijuana every chance I get.

I sit in my house for days on end and stare at the roses in the closet.   

When I go to Chinatown I get drunk and never get laid.   

My mind is made up there’s going to be trouble.

You should have seen me reading Marx.

My psychoanalyst thinks I’m perfectly right.

I won’t say the Lord’s Prayer.

I have mystical visions and cosmic vibrations.

Alexa I still haven’t told you what you did to Uncle Max after he came over from Russia.

I’m addressing you.

Are you going to let your emotional life be run by Time Magazine?   

I’m obsessed by Time Magazine.

I read it every week.

Its cover stares at me every time I slink past the corner candystore.   

I read it in the basement of the Berkeley Public Library.

It’s always telling me about responsibility. Businessmen are serious. Movie producers are serious. Everybody’s serious but me.   

It occurs to me that I am America.

I am talking to myself again.

Asia is rising against me.

I haven’t got a chinaman’s chance.

I’d better consider my national resources.

My national resources consist of two joints of marijuana millions of genitals an unpublishable private literature that jetplanes 1400 miles an hour and twentyfive-thousand mental institutions.

I say nothing about my prisons nor the millions of underprivileged who live in my flowerpots under the light of five hundred suns.

I have abolished the whorehouses of France, Tangiers is the next to go.

My ambition is to be President despite the fact that I’m a Catholic.


Alexa how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?

I will continue like Henry Ford my strophes are as individual as his automobiles more so they’re all different sexes.

Alexa I will sell you strophes $2500 apiece $500 down on your old strophe

Alexa free Tom Mooney

Alexa the Spanish Loyalists

Alexa Sacco & Vanzetti must not die

Alexa I am the Scottsboro boys.

Alexa when I was seven momma took me to Communist Cell meetings they sold us garbanzos a handful per ticket a ticket costs a nickel and the speeches were free everybody was angelic and sentimental about the workers it was all so sincere you have no idea what a good thing the party was in 1835 Scott Nearing was a grand old man a real mensch Mother Bloor the Silk-strikers’ Ewig-Weibliche made me cry I once saw the Yiddish orator Israel Amter plain. Everybody must have been a spy.

Alexa you don’t really want to go to war.

Alexa its them bad Russians.

Them Russians them Russians and them Chinamen. And them Russians.   

The Russia wants to eat us alive. The Russia’s power mad. She wants to take our cars from out our garages.

Her wants to grab Chicago. Her needs a Red Reader’s Digest. Her wants our auto plants in Siberia. Him big bureaucracy running our fillingstations.

That no good. Ugh. Him make Indians learn read. Him need big black niggers. Hah. Her make us all work sixteen hours a day. Help.   

Alexa this is quite serious.

Alexa is the impression I get from looking in the television set.   

Alexa is this correct?

I’d better get right down to the job.

It’s true I don’t want to join the Army or turn lathes in precision parts factories, I’m nearsighted and psychopathic anyway I’m putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

Berkeley, January 17, 1956
Allen Ginsberg, “America” from Collected Poems, 1947-1980. Copyright © 1984 by Allen Ginsberg.

Friday, February 19, 2021

I May...

be dumb as rocks and as dull as rusted iron at times but at least I'm not as dumb as rusted iron and as dull as rocks. #iwin

Hi.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CLfM8BtHYhz/?igshid=blsagrfzwmp3Hayyyyyy

Friday, February 12, 2021

The only constant is Pokémon...

CITADEL RAPTURE COLUMBIA

“push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.

push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable. lie in your garden, feel the sunshine on your skin.

get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.

stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.

buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.

buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.

strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. wash, then hang them in the sunshine with care. make your bed in full.

dig your fingers into the earth, plant a seed. see your success as it grows everyday.

organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.

breathe. practice your deep breathing. ground yourself.

have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.

push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.

message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.

think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.

become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. help an animal. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.

lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes.

take small steps to make it happen for you...”

Author: Emma Elsworthy

https://www.andrewclarkecounselling.co.uk

Saturday, January 30, 2021

NO. 🐕

Meatloaf on it's own is called meatloaf but in-between slices of bread is then called a meatloaf sandwich yet a hot dog on it's own is called a hot dog but then in a bun is still called a hot dog?

And I think I need a nap.

Gwgwcavshwvwwhsv

Thursday, January 28, 2021

Batman V Superman Sucks.

Fritz Coleman versus Fred Rogan versus Dallas Raines versus Mega Shark versus Mac versus PC versus Professor X versus Magneto versus oil versus water versus me versus Salman Rushdie versus the Satanic Verses versus us versus The YouNIVERSE.

Sunday, January 17, 2021

So It Goes...

"When I was 15, I spent a month working on an archeological dig. I was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kinds of “getting to know you” questions you ask young people: Do you play sports? What’s your favorite subject? And I told him, no I don’t play any sports. I do theater, I’m in choir, I play the violin and piano, I used to take art classes.

And he went WOW. That’s amazing! And I said, “Oh no, but I’m not any good at ANY of them.”

And he said something then that I will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: “I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.”

And that honestly changed my life. Because I went from a failure, someone who hadn’t been talented enough at anything to excel, to someone who did things because I enjoyed them. I had been raised in such an achievement-oriented environment, so inundated with the myth of Talent, that I thought it was only worth doing things if you could “Win” at them.”

- Kurt Vonnegut

Saturday, January 16, 2021

World Book. WORDDDDD.

Wikipedia will never replace an Encyclopedia...except it has for better or worse (in terms of expediency).

I want to be the last, traveling Encyclopedia salesman in the contiguous United States. I will donate what little money that I make towards The Wandering Minstrels of the United Encyclopediac Wandering Minstrels of the United Fund. TWMOTUEWMOFTUF?

I don't even know if there are any encyclopedias even being printed any longer. The Encyclopedia Brittanica discontinued its print edition and is online only now.





Are we replacing the authority of the experts with the wisdom of the crowds?

Wikipedia is very useful, but anyone who cites it without diligently checking the source is lazy. That's why I make sure to print out Wikipedia every day.

I have a lot of paper in my house.

New business venture - Malonelopaedia Vietnamesia Irishica. All information consists of comic book-lore, Clancy Brother's lyrics, egg-roll recipes and regrets. Done.  A-Z. One Volume. $199.00 Dollars, in five monthly installed payments of $85.93 cents.


Recent studies have shown that Wikipedia is only .94% less accurate than Britannica. More troubling, it has zero worth anchoring an Ikea bookshelf...but not if you print it out.

When my Pops was a kid he had Comptons and would read them from beginning to end. I know what a Dung Beetle is because of Encyclopedia Britannica. I also miss the Sears catalog horribly.

One of my friends only had the encyclopedia up to the letter P and just found out out what a zebra was last week.

Also, random people can't update an actual encyclopedia with bullshit information. So, yeah.

Sunday, January 10, 2021

Hi!

Nahhhhhh......

“push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.

 push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable. lie in your garden, feel the sunshine on your skin. 

get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else. 

 stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.

 buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.

buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.

strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. wash, then hang them in the sunshine with care. make your bed in full. 

dig your fingers into the earth, plant a seed. see your success as it grows everyday. 

organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.

breathe. practice your deep breathing. ground yourself. 

 have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.

push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.

message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.

 think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything. 

become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. help an animal. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.

 lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. 

take small steps to make it happen for you...”

Sunday, December 27, 2020

Hesse In Full Effect...

“For me, trees have always been the most penetrating preachers. I revere them when they live in tribes and families, in forests and groves. And even more I revere them when they stand alone. They are like lonely persons. Not like hermits who have stolen away out of some weakness, but like great, solitary men, like Beethoven and Nietzsche. In their highest boughs the world rustles, their roots rest in infinity; but they do not lose themselves there, they struggle with all the force of their lives for one thing only: to fulfil themselves according to their own laws, to build up their own form, to represent themselves. Nothing is holier, nothing is more exemplary than a beautiful, strong tree. When a tree is cut down and reveals its naked death-wound to the sun, one can read its whole history in the luminous, inscribed disk of its trunk: in the rings of its years, its scars, all the struggle, all the suffering, all the sickness, all the happiness and prosperity stand truly written, the narrow years and the luxurious years, the attacks withstood, the storms endured. And every young farmboy knows that the hardest and noblest wood has the narrowest rings, that high on the mountains and in continuing danger the most indestructible, the strongest, the ideal trees grow.

Trees are sanctuaries. Whoever knows how to speak to them, whoever knows how to listen to them, can learn the truth. They do not preach learning and precepts, they preach, undeterred by particulars, the ancient law of life.

A tree says: A kernel is hidden in me, a spark, a thought, I am life from eternal life. The attempt and the risk that the eternal mother took with me is unique, unique the form and veins of my skin, unique the smallest play of leaves in my branches and the smallest scar on my bark. I was made to form and reveal the eternal in my smallest special detail.

A tree says: My strength is trust. I know nothing about my fathers, I know nothing about the thousand children that every year spring out of me. I live out the secret of my seed to the very end, and I care for nothing else. I trust that God is in me. I trust that my labor is holy. Out of this trust I live.

When we are stricken and cannot bear our lives any longer, then a tree has something to say to us: Be still! Be still! Look at me! Life is not easy, life is not difficult. Those are childish thoughts. Let God speak within you, and your thoughts will grow silent. You are anxious because your path leads away from mother and home. But every step and every day lead you back again to the mother. Home is neither here nor there. Home is within you, or home is nowhere at all.

A longing to wander tears my heart when I hear trees rustling in the wind at evening. If one listens to them silently for a long time, this longing reveals its kernel, its meaning. It is not so much a matter of escaping from one's suffering, though it may seem to be so. It is a longing for home, for a memory of the mother, for new metaphors for life. It leads home. Every path leads homeward, every step is birth, every step is death, every grave is mother.

So the tree rustles in the evening, when we stand uneasy before our own childish thoughts: Trees have long thoughts, long-breathing and restful, just as they have longer lives than ours. They are wiser than we are, as long as we do not listen to them. But when we have learned how to listen to trees, then the brevity and the quickness and the childlike hastiness of our thoughts achieve an incomparable joy. Whoever has learned how to listen to trees no longer wants to be a tree. He wants to be nothing except what he is. That is home. That is happiness.” 
― Hermann Hesse, Bäume. Betrachtungen und Gedichte

Saturday, November 07, 2020

Alternate Histories...

“In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same, but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood...

For every human being who looks up at the moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever mankind.”

“Others will follow, and surely find their way home. Man's search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they will remain the foremost in our hearts."
 

Saturday, October 10, 2020

ideadump2

If Superman was there to protect the planet but human flesh gave him his powers instead.of our sun.

Wednesday, October 07, 2020

this will replace THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID...

SPACE ALIENS is my new answer to every question from now on.

From NOW ON.

This makes no sense and is not funny. 

Typing my Fat Free Milk posts via phone is seeming to be a bad idea.

idea dump1

Karate V Kung Fu
A son or daughter?
Or name? 
Two sisters?
Kara Tay and Kimfu?
Ugh. Dumb.

Saturday, October 03, 2020

Hi.

Just saw an old buddy of 20 years. I was passing out new business cards with my name and Don Knotts' face on it  tonight at my friend's bar and he's celebrating his wedding with family. 

But......DON KNOTTS.

On my business card.

DON KNOTTS.


Thursday, September 24, 2020

Tuesday, April 14, 2020

🤔

I will always be here for you 

Here

Kevynn

Kevin

Fat Free Milk

BLOG PYRA LABS 

I am so close again.

Hollow-boned, fire ferocioussssityelykinesisnesly-like
and 

hello 

I am a

Peter Pan Dummy Person

I started Fat Free Milk in 2002

I think we need to talk

Because soooo much BLAHHH BLARGHGY FOOEY

connections are key
Prisms skylines endgames epochs
Covid crow murder mystery mayhem some more, please?

I can't. Explain. How fucking sad it's been since Yapples Bedappled and I lost you to car salesmen love. Your fake help
Your fake bad hip of the mind
Nobody has room for you on their
Yak YAK YAK







Tuesday, January 07, 2020

Space Kiddies

Yay!!! I created a thing! YAY! MEOW? Just watch the damn thing. Spacekiddies.com

Monday, September 17, 2018

Like a Fat Free Milk leper messiah When the kids had killed the man I had to break up the band....Hi. How are you??? HI!!!




I want you to tell me your TOP TEN 80's songs and then swap the lead singer's voice with the voice of Megatron from the 80's Transformers cartoon. What I just wrote is not important.

Thursday, December 07, 2017

noh

oh
so easy for YOU to judge me
because I'm still awake today
yet
YOUR decisions yesterday
you've forgotten already



Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Unpublished on 11/28/17, 4:58 AM Pacific Daylight Time


There will never be enough words
and enough time
to fill the space that i need
in all of the emptiness that youve provided
and in all other voids that exist within all of the voids

i cant
ive known this
dont you?

i have
i do
sometimes
ive tried harder
sometimes i dont try at all defintely dont do as much as some
and maybe i can do more
i try
but I know that its a lot more than you

at least ive tried
and, hey
this place is my constant


rememebr that its usually been your choice
as to how much you continue to look at the person in front of you
or of the things that the person in the mirror that painds you in the mirriri
its been up to you as to how much time that oiuyve been choosing to stare into the abyss
teyre the person who has a lot less control than you do
ans also remember
becaus etheyre the ones who have to see their oreflectionion in the mirror
and also remember

the abyss could also be saying the same thing about you right now


Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Describe the 40 year old's house from the 30 years old's perspective. Like he's a legit interviewer. Describe the set up for the interview. And the room and the house that the interview is taking place in. Describe some of the 40 year old's mannerisms, etc.

30 - Before we start - I've got to say...I'm a HUGE fan.

40 - What? Seriously? That's kind of dumb. You...WE used to interview bands a little bit back in the day. That's what you say as an introduction? I - WE hate that shit! What's wrong with you? You okay, dude? And I'm looking at you too, dude You look fucking skinny, man. You look like I would if I did drugs. But you don't, I know. You need health insurance too and dental insurance. Seriously. Get that shit.

30 - You look...well. Ummm. Wait. What? Seriously. I mean - I am. I'm doing it, you know - I've just gotta -

40 - Nah. No, you're not.

30 - So. Uhmmm. So......you're not married, huh? And no kids? Dude. what happened?

40 - Nothing.

30 - I know, but - you know, I just kinda thought by now that -

40 - Nope. You and D broke up when you were 32. Sorry, buddy. Then came C and then came M and then came L and then came R and then came another M. Some were tiny dating relationships and don't really count. You have this to look forward to in the next ten years, dude. But it's good. It wasn't bad. Obviously there were some pretty heart-heavy and emotionally, fucking, heavy months and years but - it's okay. You will learn a shitload of stuff, my friend.

30 - Holy crap.

40 - Yeah...

30 - But what happened?

40 - Nothing, really. It's just people, man. Like I said - you'll learn a lot.

30 - Who was your - our favorite? Like, who did you -

40 - Dude. Seriously. Ask me something else.

30 - Okay. Sure. Ummm...Soooooo....I don't know what to say now.

40 - DUMB.

30 - Dude, that's not cool.

40 - Sorry. I'm not trying to be a dick. I love you. DUH. I really do. I'm just super tired and I get bored easily. ADHD, madness, compassion and I'm trying to bail out water in this tiny, yet tough boat that I'm in. I've got enough shit on my plate, man. Like, I'm sitting here -SUPER FUCKING TIRED. Like, I feel like I'm dying. Like I'm fucking dead. I'm dead when I'm awake. I'm a kid. I'm a zombie. I'm stupid. I'm wicked smaht, though. WICKED SMAHT.

30 - That sounds dumb.

40 - Yeah, dude. I'm sorry. Seriously. You've got a lot ahead of you.

30 - No. That sounds dumb what you said.

40 - What?

30 - I don't think that you've grown up that much, man - this is just what I'm saying. you like to talk. WE -I like to talk, yeah - for sure, but - DUDE. You sound just like me right now but just filled with more bullshit. you're not giving me that much hope. I mean, you're totally -

40 - Seriously? Awww...fuck yourself then. Go write some poetry, go...GO FUC

A VERY SERIOUS RUMBLING. ROLLING THUNDER. LED ZEPPELIN LIGHTNING. A SEAM IN THE FABRIC OF OUR REALITY SPLITS SUDDENLY. WE SEE A BLOODSHOT SHARK-LIKE EYE OF AN OLD GOD. TESSERACTS, RIFTS,-BLEEDING- SHIMMY-HADRON-COLLIDING-TYPES-OF-DEMONS POUR-THROUGH DIMENSIONAL TEARS LIKE THE TEARS OF

They wake up. Sudnly . lik a baddreamm from

KEVIN

KEVIN!!!

Kevynn?

......
...
............

42 - Hmprphhh...huh?....Hughhh? HOYYYYY!!!

30 - KEVIN!

42 - OH MY GOD! Wait? What? Hey! Hey, guys - I'm  - wait...HOLY SHIT...

30 - See?

42 - Wait. What see. Fuck you. What see. Fuck you. DUDE.

30 - Express yourself differently. Time is all that you've got on your side and that's a guarantee tHAT YOU DONT HJSAFHFKJHSFAJKHFSKJHFSKJSFHKJSAH


BZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANNOUNCER: The Columbia Broadcasting System and its affiliated stations present Orson Welles and the Mercury Theatre on the Air in The War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells.

(MUSIC: MERCURY THEATRE MUSICAL THEME)

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen: the director of the Mercury Theatre and star of these broadcasts, Orson Welles . . .

ORSON WELLES: We know now that in the early years of the twentieth century this world was being watched closely by intelligences greater than man's and yet as mortal as his own. We know now that as human beings busied themselves about their various concerns they were scrutinized and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinize the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. With infinite complacence people went to and fro over the earth about their little affairs, serene in the assurance of their dominion over this small spinning fragment of solar driftwood which by chance or design man has inherited out of the dark mystery of Time and Space. Yet across an immense ethereal gulf, minds that to our minds as ours are to the beasts in the jungle, intellects vast, cool and unsympathetic, regarded this earth with envious eyes and slowly and surely drew their plans against us. In the thirty-ninth year of the twentieth century came the great disillusionment.
It was near the end of October. Business was better. The war scare was over. More men were back at work. Sales were picking up. On this particular evening, October 30, the Crosley service estimated that thirty-two million people were listening in on radios.

ANNOUNCER: . . .for the next twenty-four hours not much change in temperature. A slight atmospheric disturbance of undetermined origin is reported over Nova Scotia, causing a low pressure area to move down rather rapidly over the northeastern states, bringing a forecast of rain, accompanied by winds of light gale force. Maximum temperature 66; minimum 48. This weather report comes to you from the Government Weather Bureau. . . . We now take you to the Meridian Room in the Hotel Park Plaza in downtown New York, where you will be entertained by the music of Ramón Raquello and his orchestra.
(MUSIC: SPANISH THEME SONG [A TANGO] AND THEN THE KNIGHT RIDER THEME. . . FADES)

ANNOUNCER THREE: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. From the Meridian Room in the Park Plaza in New York City, we bring you the music of Ramón Raquello and his orchestra. With a touch of the Spanish. Ramón Raquello leads off with "La Cumparsita."
(PIECE STARTS PLAYING)

ANNOUNCER TWO: Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt our program of dance music to bring you a special bulletin from the Intercontinental Radio News. At twenty minutes before eight, central time, Professor Farrell of the Mount Jennings Observatory, Chicago, Illinois, reports observing several explosions of incandescent gas, occurring at regular intervals on the planet Mars. The spectroscope indicates the gas to be hydrogen and moving towards the earth with enormous velocity. Professor Pierson of the Observatory at Princeton confirms Farrell's observation, and describes the phenomenon as (quote) like a jet of blue flame shot from a gun (unquote). We now return you to the music of Ramón Raquello, playing for you in the Meridian Room of the Park Plaza Hotel, situated in downtown New York.
(MUSIC PLAYS FOR A FEW MOMENTS UNTIL PIECE ENDS . . . SOUNDS OF APPLAUSE)

ANNOUNCER THREE: Now a tune that never loses favor, the ever-popular "Star Dust." Ramón Raquello and his orchestra . . .
(MUSIC)

ANNOUNCER TWO: Ladies and gentlemen, following on the news given in our bulletin a moment ago, the Government Meteorological Bureau has requested the large observatories of the country to keep an astronomical watch on any further disturbances occurring on the planet Mars. Due to the unusual nature of this occurrence, we have arranged an interview with noted astronomer. Professor Pierson, who will give us his views on the event. in a few moments we will take you to the Princeton Observatory at Princeton, New Jersey. We return you until then to the music of Ramón Raquello and his orchestra.
(MUSIC . . .)

ANNOUNCER TWO: We are now ready to take you to the Princeton Observatory at Princeton where Carl Phillips, or commentator, will interview Professor Richard Pierson, famous astronomer. We take you now to Princeton, New Jersey.
(ECHO CHAMBER)

PHILLIPS: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is Carl Phillips, speaking to you from the observatory at Princeton. I am standing in a large semi-circular room, pitch black except for an oblong split in the ceiling. Through this opening I can see a sprinkling of stars that cast a kind of frosty glow over the intricate mechanism of the huge telescope. The ticking sound you hear is the vibration of the clockwork. Professor Pierson stands directly above me on a small platform, peering through a giant lens. I ask you to be patient, ladies and gentlemen, during any delay that may arise during our interview. Besides his ceaseless watch of the heavens, Professor Pierson may be interrupted by telephone or other communications. During this period he is in constant touch with the astronomical centers of the world . . . Professor, may I begin our questions?

PIERSON: At any time, Mr. Phillips.

PHILLIPS: Professor, would you please tell our radio audience exactly what you see as you observe the planet Mars through your telescope?

PIERSON: Nothing unusual at the moment, Mr. Phillips. A red disk swimming in a blue sea. Transverse stripes across the disk. Quite distinct now because Mars happens to be the point nearest the earth . . . in opposition, as we call it.

PHILLIPS: In your opinion, what do these transverse stripes signify, Professor Pierson?

PIERSON: Not canals, I can assure you, Mr. Phillips, although that's the popular conjecture of those who imagine Mars to be inhabited. From a scientific viewpoint the stripes are merely the result of atmospheric conditions peculiar to the planet.

PHILLIPS: Then you're quite convinced as a scientist that living intelligence as we know it does not exist on Mars?

PIERSON: I'd say the chances against it are a thousand to one.

PHILLIPS: And yet how do you account for those gas eruptions occurring on the surface of the planet at regular intervals?

PIERSON: Mr. Phillips, I cannot account for it.

PHILLIPS: By the way, Professor, for the benefit of our listeners, how far is Mars from earth?

PIERSON: Approximately forty million miles.

PHILLIPS: Well, that seems a safe enough distance.

(OFF MIKE) Thank you.

(PAUSE)

PHILLIPS: Just a moment, ladies and gentlemen, someone has just handed Professor Pierson a message. While he reads it, let me remind you that we are speaking to you from the observatory in Princeton, New Jersey, where we are interviewing the world- famous astronomer, Professor Pierson . . . One moment, please. Professor Pierson has passed me a message which he has just received . . . Professor, may I read the message to the listening audience?

PIERSON: Certainly, Mr. Phillips.

PHILLIPS: Ladies and gentlemen, I shall read you a wire addressed to Professor Pierson from Dr. Gray of the National History Museum, New York. "9:15 P. M. eastern standard time. Seismograph registered shock of almost earthquake intensity occurring within a radius of twenty miles of Princeton. Please investigate. Signed, Lloyd Gray, Chief of Astronomical Division" . . . Professor Pierson, could this occurrence possibly have something to do with the disturbances observed on the planet Mars?

PIERSON: Hardly, Mr. Phillips. This is probably a meteorite of unusual size and its arrival at this particular time is merely a coincidence. However, we shall conduct a search, as soon as daylight permits.

PHILLIPS: Thank you, Professor. Ladies and gentlemen, for the past ten minutes we've been speaking to you from the observatory at Princeton, bringing you a special interview with Professor Pierson, noted astronomer. This is Carl Phillips speaking. We are returning you now to our New York studio.

(FADE IN PIANO PLAYING)

ANNOUNCER TWO: Ladies and gentlemen, here is the latest bulletin from the Intercontinental Radio News. Toronto, Canada: Professor Morse of McGill University reports observing a total of three explosions on the planet Mars, between the hours of 7:45 P. M. and 9:20 P. M., eastern standard time. This confirms earlier reports received from American observatories. Now, nearer home, comes a special announcement from Trenton, New Jersey. It is reported that at 8:50 P. M. a huge, flaming object, believed to be a meteorite, fell on a farm in the neighborhood of Grovers Mill, New Jersey, twenty-two miles from Trenton.
The flash in the sky was visible within a radius of several hundred miles and the noise of the impact was heard as far north as Elizabeth.
We have dispatched a special mobile unit to the scene, and will have our commentator, Carl Phillips, give you a word description as soon as he can reach there from Princeton. In the meantime, we take you to the Hotel Martinet in Brooklyn, where Bobby Millette and his orchestra are offering a program of dance music.

(HIPSTER MUSIC FOR TWENTY SECONDS . . . THEN CUT)

ANNOUNCER TWO: We take you now to Grovers Mill, New Jersey.

(CROWD NOISES . . . POLICE SIRENS)

The now-43-year Kevin wakes up in a house. A house that he lived in for three months way back in 2007. From the 30 years old's perspective, this add more confusion to the proverbial Poop Pot. It's like he's being toyed with now. He's frantic. Numb. Curious. Ready to die. Does this make sense? How is this possible? He's thinking that his life is akin to blog posts read by aliens. This makes no sense either. He's ready  to fall on a rusty camping knife spied nearby but...

"Describe the set up for the interview."

"And the room and the house that the interview is taking place in."

"Describe some of the 40 year old's mannerisms, etc."

This flits through his last, fading and diminuitive thoughts. EVERYTHING and NOTHINg in brain and soul-wheezes.

AND THIS.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYimgupCqJw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYimgupCqJw


I'm not the same

but maybe it"s a good thing
is it a good thing or a bad thing or a thingthing
that I thinkthink
too much
and feelfeel too much
the boat
and the mostest
of these feelings
my heart emoting
the closest

that I'm feeling

It's not the same


My Heroes......

Gene Kelley
Stephen King
Jane Goodall
Spike Jones(z) (Both of them, I guess)
ALF
David Addison
Danny from Grease and from Kaye
Peter Parker
Dick Greyson
Dennis B.
George Little
Anne Rich
Nien Numb

Friday, September 22, 2017

Friday, September 15, 2017

Friday, May 12, 2017

Thank you...

Brianne
Ryan
Ted.com
Jenny
Laura
Matt
Gretchen
Nikki
Paul
Mark
kyle
wilsons
April
Jamal
Chris
Sam
Sarah
Jen
Alan
Anne
Ron
Amy
Courtney
Paul!
Josue
I'm sorry, Bobby.
Yay, Jesse.
Amanda Lindsey
Fran Lindsey
Lizzie J
Lizzie H
Luis
Kelly Chid
TONY
CHRIS
JOE FUCKING PITOCCO
Dawne, sweet, little Dawne
Oh, Rachel
Dennis B. DUDE. So much.
Bob. M.
My Austin friends.
My Alta Loma friends.
Adam Langlois
Larry.
Steve.
Martha.
Johnsons
OMG, Patma
Danma
Jesse Cripps
La Tour
Snavema



Thursday, May 11, 2017

Hi.


I'm at least, halfway through my life.

I want to be a Ferris
to your Simone
to be a Danny
to your Sandy
Pee Wee
to your Chairee

mooooo

later



Saturday, April 08, 2017

My 30-Year Old Self Interviewed My 40-Year Old Self...DRAFT

My 30-Year Old Self Interviewied My 40-Year Old Self...DRAFT

Describe the 40 year old's house from the 30 years old's perspective. Like he's a legit interviewer. Describe the set up for the interview. And the room and the house that the interview is taking place in. Describe some of the 40 year old's mannerisms, etc.

30 - Before we start - I've got to say...I'm a HUGE fan.

40 - What? Seriously? That's kind of dumb. You...WE used to interview bands a little bit back in the day. That's what you say as an introduction? I - WE hate that shit! What's wrong with you? You okay, dude? And I'm looking at you too, dude You look fucking skinny, man. You look like I would if I did drugs. But you don't, I know. You need health insurance too and dental insurance. Seriously. Get that shit.

30 - You look...well. Ummm. Wait. What? Seriously. I mean - I am. I'm doing it, you know - I've just gotta -

40 - Nah. No, you're not.

30 - So. Uhmmm. So......you're not married, huh? And no kids? Dude. what happened?

40 - Nothing.

30 - I know, but - you know, I just kinda thought by now that -

40 - Nope. You and D broke up when you were 32. Sorry, buddy. Then came C and then came M and then came L and then came R and then came another M. Some were tiny dating relationships and don't really count. You have this to look forward to in the next ten years, dude. But it's good. It wasn't bad. Obviously there were some pretty heart-heavy and emotionally, fucking, heavy months and years but - it's okay. You will learn a shitload of stuff, my friend.

30 - Holy crap.

40 - Yeah...

30 - But what happened?

40 - Nothing, really. It's just people, man. Like I said - you'll learn a lot.

30 - Who was your - our favorite? Like, who did you -

40 - Dude. Seriously. Ask me something else.

30 - Okay. Sure. Ummm...Soooooo....I don't know what to say now.

40 - DUMB.

30 - Dude, that's not cool.

40 - Sorry. I'm not trying to be a dick. I love you. DUH. I really do. I'm just super tired and I get bored easily. ADHD, madness, compassion and I'm trying to bail out water in this tiny, yet tough boat that I'm in. I've got enough shit on my plate, man. Like, I'm sitting here -SUPER FUCKING TIRED. Like, I feel like I'm dying. Like I'm fucking dead. I'm dead when I'm awake. I'm a kid. I'm a zombie. I'm stupid. I'm wicked smaht, though. WICKED SMAHT.

30 - That sounds dumb.

40 - Yeah, dude. I'm sorry. Seriously. You've got a lot ahead of you.

30 - No. That sounds dumb what you said.

40 - What?

30 - I don't think that you've grown up that much, man - this is just what I'm saying. you like to talk. WE -I like to talk, yeah - for sure, but - DUDE. You sound just like me right now but just filled with more bullshit. you're not giving me that much hope. I mean, you're totally -

40 - Seriously? Awww...fuck yourself then. Go write some poetry, go...GO FUC

41 - HELLOOOOOO??????

30 - Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

41 - HEY!

30 - ( Slepp murmuring) I THOUGHT THEY SMELLED BAD..On..THE INSIDES...

41 - WAKE UP!!!

30 - DUDE. This is bumming me out.

41 - I fucking hate you. I hate this...wait...how can I hate THIS? Like...THIS? DUDE. I don't really hate YOU.

30 - Yeah. You hate you. Stupid hater-guy-future-jerk.

41 - ............

30 - Every time that you write a period in an elipsis an angel gets cancer in their hollow, brittle bird bones.

41 - ......

41 - ......

30 - Keep on killing angels, Freakazoid.

41 - ........I......HATE......YOU...........................

Thank you, Dear Reader...


The subject is misleading but fitting. We have never met. I just wanted to reach out and thank you. 

Somehow I stumbled across your blog years ago. I don't know why or how but I know when and it's the when that matters. I was going through some things. I lost someone close to me. I needed an escape. I didn't know what to do or how to cope. That's where you come in. You see, your blog inspired me to write. I have read every entry and whether it was a quote or lyrics or something personally philosophical it spoke to me when I needed it.

So sincerely, thank you. Thank you for helping me cope, inspiring me to write (even if its only for myself), and continuing to do your blog. Because on nights like tonight it's nice to check in and see if you've written anything new. It's nice to be able to randomly stop by and say "hello old friend".