Friday, March 31, 2006

We Fought For Lincoln...And The Ford Won...

Funny thing about
the lack of parental love
is that
as time passes
and the more that
you actually
get a hold
of what happened
or didn't
and when
you actually
get the ability to
put yourself outside of the box
and forgive
time has passed
and you've usually
just learned to forget to remember

by the time that you realize that what really mattered back then
when things were huge
when things were earth-shaking
when your parental Pearl Harbor was constantly being bombed
and you were just fleeing the constant fire from the sky

so much time has passed
you've lived the majority
of your life now without this person
how does this make you feel?
trying to place blame is like Brazil 2006 Nazi-hunting
like saying light on Earth from a galactic star
was cooler way before everybody knew about it
like loving a writers work posthumously
and telling others that he was a lot better
when he was alive

Thursday, March 30, 2006

If Comic Books Were Beers - Then I'd Sell My Liver On eBay...

Right now my house smells like the mall.

Earlier today, TARGET sounded exactly like being on a cruise ship.

Also, I see a horrible piece of writing in my future.

See? Here it is. The post, not the picture, you penis.

Doctor Doom And Darth Vader Are Brothers...

Totally un-funny today.
un-everything today.

I guess this would make me a Communist, also.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Man Killed The Dodo And The Dodo Killed Man...

For every ten psychotic thoughts
I have one moment of clarity

For each bone that I break
A muscle will get stronger

When bored and dull
My dreams will become lucid

Mirthless socially
Clever in my own head

I am the earth-quaking stompings
Of a million giants with ADD
And Restless Leg Syndrome

I am a creature not stirring
I am a quiet mouse

I am continous smoldering embers
And the Napalm of Dante's Inferno

I am the sun, the moon and the stars

Eventually killed by Avian Bird Flu

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Bye, little girl...I'll miss you.

how much
is too little
to make
that big of a deal of

when a big thing
that seems so small
in the grand scheme of things
gets taken away from you
are you being
do you straighten up
wipe your misty eyes with your wrist
or do you swim with it

when something withers

does somebody hear the tree fall in your heart

I like to shut off certain aspects
of my emotions because
I am either too old
or have already
worked it around in my head

been there
done that
felt that

everything acknowledged
not forgotten
but no need to be an emotional CUTTER

scars heal
scars remain, though

everything’s just tragic
and always beautifully overlooked

everything is nothing
and sometimes
my little
to me

Rest in peace, "60"

Love, Kevynn

Thursday, March 23, 2006


My dog smells like a baby.

A baby who shit his pants.

Citron This...

There's something wrong about accidentally finding a bottle of vodka in your cupboard.

It's kind of like The Gods on Mount Olympus chucking down ice cream cones to retarded, screaming fat kids.

(Maybe I shouldn't have written that out loud.)

So Much Hair On His Palms, He was Chewbacca's Hand Model...

Jesus, work is boring.

Last time I did anything this repetitive,
I was ten...and then couldn't touch it again for like, a week.

George Romero vs. Barbasol...

How come you never see zombies with facial hair?

or have I not been looking hard enough?

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Hello, Mr. Poetry Bastard...

and so what do you do?
you try
you try to make it better
but nothing happens
the gods on Blog Olympus don't get back to you
are all happening at once
now that I'm forgotten

serves you right

for feeling comfortable

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Kill Me Now, Please...

It'd be cheaper, at least. My fucking teeth are always cracking, my goddamn bones are always breaking, my eyes fucking suck, my knees are shot - Somebody just kick me dowm some fucking stairs already.


Found On "The Office" Website...

Kevin Malone
Thursday, January 19th, 2006

"Kevin Malone, Accountant that is bald, over-weight, often scowls. Plays in a Steve Miller tribute band and is a very subdued man."

There's a guy named Kevin Malone on The Office?

I'm going to sue. He should be an Accountant that is balding, under-weight, often scowls. Plays in a POISON tribute band and is a very subdued man.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Walking After Work...

in the parking garage,
I had a hard time deciding
if it smelled like flowers
or urine.

Is this weird?

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Brokeback Mountain: Starring Lenny And George From Of Mice And Men...

You know, I really wouldn't mind the whole-fuck-it-I'll-just-save-my-money-and-buy-a-small-piece-of-land-in-Colorado-or-Wyoming-and-live-on-a-ranch-thing.

A small place.

Open areas. Ominous clouds on the horizon. A couple of horses wearing sweaters.

A monkey ranch hand family to do all of the chores.

Zombies to help maintain the banana groves.

Pens of small children to feed to the zombies.

You know - nice. Peaceful.

Just a simple ranch filled with clothed horses, monkeys and zombies.


Away from society.

A break from normal life.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

I Need To Run My Remit Report And Get Out Of Here...

A birthday attack is a type of cryptographic attack which exploits the mathematics behind the birthday paradox, making use of a space-time tradeoff. Specifically, if a function yields any of n different outputs with equal probability and n is sufficiently large, then after evaluating the function for about different arguments we expect to have found a pair of different arguments x1 and x2 with f(x1) = f(x2), known as a collision. If the outputs of the function are distributed unevenly, then a collision can be found even faster (Bellare and Kohno, 2004).

Digital signatures can be susceptible to a birthday attack. A message m is typically signed by first computing f(m), where f is a cryptographic hash function, and then using some secret key to sign f(m). Suppose Alice wants to trick Bob into signing a fraudulent contract. Alice prepares a fair contract m and a fraudulent one m'. She then finds a number of positions where m can be changed without changing the meaning, such as inserting commas, empty lines, one versus two spaces after a sentence, replacing synonyms, etc. By combining these changes, she can create a huge number of variations on m which are all fair contracts. In a similar manner, she also creates a huge number of variations on the fraudulent contract m'. She then applies the hash function to all these variations until she finds a version of the fair contract and a version of the fraudulent contract which have the same hash value, f(m) = f(m'). She presents the fair version to Bob for signing. After Bob has signed, Alice takes the signature and attaches it to the fraudulent contract. This signature then "proves" that Bob signed the fraudulent contract.

To avoid this attack, the output length of the hash function used for a signature scheme can be chosen large enough so that the birthday attack becomes computationally infeasible, i.e. about twice as large as needed to prevent an ordinary brute force attack. It has also been recommended that Bob cosmetically modify any contract presented to him before signing. However, this does not solve the problem, because now Alice suspects Bob of attempting to use a birthday attack.

The birthday attack can also be used to speed up the computation of discrete logarithms. Suppose x and y are elements of some group and y is a power of x. We want to find the exponent of x that gives y. A birthday attack computes xr for many randomly chosen integers r and computes yx ? s for many randomly chosen integers s. After a while, a match will be found: xr = yx ? s which means y = xr + s.

If the group has n elements, then the naive method of trying out all exponents takes about n / 2 steps on average; the birthday attack is considerably faster and takes fewer than steps on average.

There are a lot of potential band names up above, me thinks.

Read On A Message Board Re: Zach Braff's Newest Directing Gig...

"Garden State was a cinematic pyrmaid scheme to get our people laid, between him matisyahu and larry david our perception has shifted to ridiculously wealthy, marijuana smoking ultra sensitive emotional sorcerers."

I can't stop reading this.

I don't know why. I think I love it, but am unsure...