Wednesday, October 25, 2006

It said, "This product contains less fat than our regular sausage!" Is this kind of like somebody saying your current girlfriend is not as much of a whore as your last?

No, you say.

Yes, I say to you banging into something crotch-first.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

His left hand is my brain...

Oh, I was writing something about me whispering filth into your mother's ears and about poisoning the sugar-plumb'ed dreams of your offspring - but then I stopped.

When one has to question or slow down when writing about nothing - then one has lost the game that could never've been won.

The distant sirens are now becoming louder. In seconds, they'll completely envelop me - I think that I'll catch my rhythm by the time they get here.

Loud. Abrasive. Distracting.


Here it comes.

I'm listening...and not writing.

And this is what we get tonight.

Me, writing about one moment right now - as opposed to all of the other stuff...

Friday, October 13, 2006

Holden, Scout, Kilgore or Klingon...

One could only wish to pull off a brilliant Harper Lee or J.D. Salinger reclusive entrance/exit. Journalism and writing small articles or books of short stories never cuts it, either. That's like passing gas against an enormous waft of expectant King Kong stink.

Somebody told me the other day that Van Gogh only cut off part of his ear.

I'd like to be known for writing an earlobe's worth of something lasting.

Something bloody.

And something that doesn't stink...too bad.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Big, Fat Sausage Fingers And Spaghetti Brain...

So, was all excited at the restaurant as I was waiting for my girlfriend. Had Fat Free Milk on my cell phone and was going to leave a comment on it for the very first time! By phone? Holy Jesus Snacks, you mean, like RIGHT THERE? Wow, huh?

So, I typed in this really funny-clever-me-so-witty crap...and then fucked it all up. And then gave up. And will probably never try to again.

That's how it works, folks.

Once and only once for the impatiently pea-brained.

(meaning me)