s and I took 112 of them, right? Some will lead to more worry, insecurities and whatever’s but, at times certain paths - invisible or well trodden will require more sweat and for you to work different muscles in your legs and your brain and your heart and that’s a requirement for parts of your developing SOUL (and he pointed at his head) and all those awesome choices require time, fortitude, honesty and YOUR attention then blah give me a one word answer of what I and what society approves of!” You don’t have to have the answers. Just as long as you want to do something. Shit, take everything! All of it! It’s your turn, buddy. Just don’t screw it up like me - just kidding…heh heh. What kind of person do you feel like you are and what kind of person do you strive to be? What are you working on right now…with yourself - good or bad? The person that you are right now should always be working on a million things because being boring means you’re dead. Otherwise, you’d just be nothing and that’s kind of gross. It’s perfectly fine and actually admirable to want to do just one thing, one job, maybe even just one pair of pants - nuthin’ wrong with that. Well, it depends on the pair of pants but it’s perfectly okay to create new opportunities because you’re supposed to and so…good.not to know what you want to be or where you’re supposed to go because because you’re a human being and we’re in our human spacesuits until we die and shuffle off this mortal coil and then say hi to Jesus or Jedi or whatever - just as long as you have goals.”
And that’s about the gist of it. I don’t remember if he said that maaaybe exactly the way that I just transcribed it here on this cracked, tiny phone, naked after a shower and muttering to myself But I’ve always remembered that quick during a couple smoked cigarettes with him and it was years ago, he was much older than I was and I was at a new step new family reunion thing and it was at his house for this Thanksgiving rotation and I guess that it hadn’t happened before and he was the black sheep of the family because he married a gorgeous black lady and he had 50’s memorabilia and neon and jukeboxes decorated all throughout his house and his garage and he smoked Marlboro Reds and he told the family to fuck off because they were conservative fakes but he was trying to make amends and it was Thanksgiving and he said that it was perfectly fine to bum another cigarette off of him before he headed back inside and that he’d see me there and that I should stop smoking because that shit will kill ya’, and then I never saw him again.
• I’ve never had a question about you and what you were going to do after this. You’re one of those rare people that keep things moving for yourself and help keep the traffic flowing for others too because YOU ARE ENERGY. You’re not a CAR - you’ll never just be a CAR in this life -
YOU are THE TRAFFIC! No, I take that back - You’re the WHOLE goddamn FREEWAY. You are EVERYTHING and don’t let anything ever slow you down because this life really is pretty damn short I’m finding out so let nothing but gas pass you by…or through you. Really, Kevin? That’s how you’re going to end this? Like that? It’s okay, I’m not saying goodbye just saying an equivalent on rare occasion like tonight, you - give me a call or text if you need anything at all - text me or The Missus and you always have something even when you think you don’t. Because she’s amazing and I’m entertaining maybe, two out of ten encounters. Be honest and be ENERGY and be yourself and you’ll always be fine. Thank you for being my friend and for trying to help me fight the good fight. Life needs YOU. Okay, bye.
