Wednesday, November 15, 2017

I'm not the same

but maybe it"s a good thing
is it a good thing or a bad thing or a thingthing
that I thinkthink
too much
and feelfeel too much
the boat
and the mostest
of these feelings
my heart emoting
the closest

that I'm feeling

It's not the same


My Heroes......

Gene Kelley
Stephen King
Jane Goodall
Spike Jones(z) (Both of them, I guess)
ALF
David Addison
Danny from Grease and from Kaye
Peter Parker
Dick Greyson
Dennis B.
George Little
Anne Rich
Nien Numb

Friday, September 22, 2017

Friday, September 15, 2017

Friday, May 12, 2017

Thank you...

Brianne
Ryan
Ted.com
Jenny
Laura
Matt
Gretchen
Nikki
Paul
Mark
kyle
wilsons
April
Jamal
Chris
Sam
Sarah
Jen
Alan
Anne
Ron
Amy
Courtney
Paul!
Josue
I'm sorry, Bobby.
Yay, Jesse.
Amanda Lindsey
Fran Lindsey
Lizzie J
Lizzie H
Luis
Kelly Chid
TONY
CHRIS
JOE FUCKING PITOCCO
Dawne, sweet, little Dawne
Oh, Rachel
Dennis B. DUDE. So much.
Bob. M.
My Austin friends.
My Alta Loma friends.
Adam Langlois
Larry.
Steve.
Martha.
Johnsons
OMG, Patma
Danma
Jesse Cripps
La Tour
Snavema



Thursday, May 11, 2017

Hi.


I'm at least, halfway through my life.

I want to be a Ferris
to your Simone
to be a Danny
to your Sandy
Pee Wee
to your Chairee

mooooo

later



Saturday, April 08, 2017

My 30-Year Old Self Interviewed My 40-Year Old Self...DRAFT

My 30-Year Old Self Interviewied My 40-Year Old Self...DRAFT

Describe the 40 year old's house from the 30 years old's perspective. Like he's a legit interviewer. Describe the set up for the interview. And the room and the house that the interview is taking place in. Describe some of the 40 year old's mannerisms, etc.

30 - Before we start - I've got to say...I'm a HUGE fan.

40 - What? Seriously? That's kind of dumb. You...WE used to interview bands a little bit back in the day. That's what you say as an introduction? I - WE hate that shit! What's wrong with you? You okay, dude? And I'm looking at you too, dude You look fucking skinny, man. You look like I would if I did drugs. But you don't, I know. You need health insurance too and dental insurance. Seriously. Get that shit.

30 - You look...well. Ummm. Wait. What? Seriously. I mean - I am. I'm doing it, you know - I've just gotta -

40 - Nah. No, you're not.

30 - So. Uhmmm. So......you're not married, huh? And no kids? Dude. what happened?

40 - Nothing.

30 - I know, but - you know, I just kinda thought by now that -

40 - Nope. You and D broke up when you were 32. Sorry, buddy. Then came C and then came M and then came L and then came R and then came another M. Some were tiny dating relationships and don't really count. You have this to look forward to in the next ten years, dude. But it's good. It wasn't bad. Obviously there were some pretty heart-heavy and emotionally, fucking, heavy months and years but - it's okay. You will learn a shitload of stuff, my friend.

30 - Holy crap.

40 - Yeah...

30 - But what happened?

40 - Nothing, really. It's just people, man. Like I said - you'll learn a lot.

30 - Who was your - our favorite? Like, who did you -

40 - Dude. Seriously. Ask me something else.

30 - Okay. Sure. Ummm...Soooooo....I don't know what to say now.

40 - DUMB.

30 - Dude, that's not cool.

40 - Sorry. I'm not trying to be a dick. I love you. DUH. I really do. I'm just super tired and I get bored easily. ADHD, madness, compassion and I'm trying to bail out water in this tiny, yet tough boat that I'm in. I've got enough shit on my plate, man. Like, I'm sitting here -SUPER FUCKING TIRED. Like, I feel like I'm dying. Like I'm fucking dead. I'm dead when I'm awake. I'm a kid. I'm a zombie. I'm stupid. I'm wicked smaht, though. WICKED SMAHT.

30 - That sounds dumb.

40 - Yeah, dude. I'm sorry. Seriously. You've got a lot ahead of you.

30 - No. That sounds dumb what you said.

40 - What?

30 - I don't think that you've grown up that much, man - this is just what I'm saying. you like to talk. WE -I like to talk, yeah - for sure, but - DUDE. You sound just like me right now but just filled with more bullshit. you're not giving me that much hope. I mean, you're totally -

40 - Seriously? Awww...fuck yourself then. Go write some poetry, go...GO FUC

41 - HELLOOOOOO??????

30 - Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

41 - HEY!

30 - ( Slepp murmuring) I THOUGHT THEY SMELLED BAD..On..THE INSIDES...

41 - WAKE UP!!!

30 - DUDE. This is bumming me out.

41 - I fucking hate you. I hate this...wait...how can I hate THIS? Like...THIS? DUDE. I don't really hate YOU.

30 - Yeah. You hate you. Stupid hater-guy-future-jerk.

41 - ............

30 - Every time that you write a period in an elipsis an angel gets cancer in their hollow, brittle bird bones.

41 - ......

41 - ......

30 - Keep on killing angels, Freakazoid.

41 - ........I......HATE......YOU...........................

Thank you, Dear Reader...


The subject is misleading but fitting. We have never met. I just wanted to reach out and thank you. 

Somehow I stumbled across your blog years ago. I don't know why or how but I know when and it's the when that matters. I was going through some things. I lost someone close to me. I needed an escape. I didn't know what to do or how to cope. That's where you come in. You see, your blog inspired me to write. I have read every entry and whether it was a quote or lyrics or something personally philosophical it spoke to me when I needed it.

So sincerely, thank you. Thank you for helping me cope, inspiring me to write (even if its only for myself), and continuing to do your blog. Because on nights like tonight it's nice to check in and see if you've written anything new. It's nice to be able to randomly stop by and say "hello old friend". 

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

ADD ADHD

ktm
Describe the 40 year old's house from the 30 years old's perspective. Like he's a legit interviewer. Describe the set up for the interview. And the room and the house that the interview is taking place in. Describe some of the 40 year old's mannerisms, etc.

30 - Before we start - I've got to say...I'm a HUGE fan.

40 - What? Seriously? That's kind of dumb. You...WE used to interview bands a little bit back in the day. That's what you say as an introduction? I - WE hate that shit! What's wrong with you? You okay, dude? And I'm looking at you too, dude You look fucking skinny, man. You look like I would if I did drugs. But you don't, I know. You need health insurance too and dental insurance. Seriously. Get that shit.

30 - You look...well. Ummm. Wait. What? Seriously. I mean - I am. I'm doing it, you know - I've just gotta -

40 - Nah. No, you're not.

30 - So. Uhmmm. So......you're not married, huh? And no kids? Dude. what happened?

40 - Nothing.

30 - I know, but - you know, I just kinda thought by now that -

40 - Nope. You and D broke up when you were 32. Sorry, buddy. Then came C and then came M and then came L and then came R and then came another M. Some were tiny dating relationships and don't really count. You have this to look forward to in the next ten years, dude. But it's good. It wasn't bad. Obviously there were some pretty heart-heavy and emotionally, fucking, heavy months and years but - it's okay. You will learn a shitload of stuff, my friend.

30 - Holy crap.

40 - Yeah...

30 - But what happened?

40 - Nothing, really. It's just people, man. Like I said - you'll learn a lot.

30 - Who was your - our favorite? Like, who did you -

40 - Dude. Seriously. Ask me something else.

30 - Okay. Sure. Ummm...Soooooo....I don't know what to say now.

40 - DUMB.

30 - Dude, that's not cool.

40 - Sorry. I'm not trying to be a dick. I love you. DUH. I really do. I'm just super tired and I get bored easily. ADHD, madness, compassion and I'm trying to bail out water in this tiny, yet tough boat that I'm in. I've got enough shit on my plate, man. Like, I'm sitting here -SUPER FUCKING TIRED. Like, I feel like I'm dying. Like I'm fucking dead. I'm dead when I'm awake. I'm a kid. I'm a zombie. I'm stupid. I'm wicked smaht, though. WICKED SMAHT.

30 - That sounds dumb.

40 - Yeah, dude. I'm sorry. Seriously. You've got a lot ahead of you.

30 - No. That sounds dumb what you said.

40 - What?

30 - I don't think that you've grown up that much, man - this is just what I'm saying. you like to talk. WE -I like to talk, yeah - for sure, but - DUDE. You sound just like me right now but just filled with more bullshit. you're not giving me that much hope. I mean, you're totally -

40 - Seriously? Awww...fuck yourself then. Go write some poetry, go...GO FUC

A VERY SERIOUS RUMBLING. ROLLING THUNDER. LED ZEPPELIN LIGHTNING. A SEAM IN THE FABRIC OF OUR REALITY SPLITS SUDDENLY. WE SEE A BLOODSHOT SHARK-LIKE EYE OF AN OLD GOD. TESSERACTS, RIFTS, BLEEDS, SHIMMYS, HADRON DEMONS POUR THRPOUGH DIMENSIONAL TEARS LIKE THE TEARS OF

They wake up. Sudnly . lik a bed dreem from

DUDE!

I haven't seen you in a while! How are you? Are you well?

Dude, like - seriously! How are you?


Tuesday, December 06, 2016

NEED

draft


Nasal strips
SAM-E
Blackout curtains
A soft eye mask
Background noise

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Impressions


Jimmy Stewart
Goofy
Scooby Doo
Scrappy Doo?
Scooby Dum?
Shaggy
Casey Kasem
Lion-O
Panthro
Tigra
Snarf
Popeye
Bluto
Mickey Mouse
The Cowardly Lion
The Scarecrow
Jim Backus
Mr. Magoo
Barney Fife
Clarence Whorley
Drexel Spivey
Mr. Pink
Jack Kerouac
Allen Ginsberg
William Burroughs
Gandalf
Johnny Carson
Dean Martin
Jerry Lewis?
The Dark Crystal
Perry Como
Walter Winchell
Walter Cronkite
The Beatles
Johnny Depp
Animal
A goat
A bored bartender
A bored mixoligist
A bored waiter
Somebody from the faculty bored
Krusty the Clown
Moe from Moe’s Tavern
Hank Hill
Pee-Wee Herman
Cartman
Bullwinkle
Rocky
Mr. Burns.
Smithers
Carl Sagan
Guy Feirie
Tim Gunn
Negan
My Mom
My Dad
My Brother
The Proclaimers
Andrew Lincoln
JFK
RFK
Generic Lisp Guy
Gloomer Generic
Yogi
Boo Boo
Tape Face
Hector
-->
Mongo
and more to come!

Monday, November 28, 2016

“If you want to get warm you must stand near the fire: if you want to be wet you must get into the water."


"If you want joy, power, peace, eternal life, you must get close to, or even into, the thing that has them. They are not a sort of prize which God could, if He chose, hand out to anyone. They are a great fountain of energy and beauty spurting up at the very centre of reality. If you are close to it, the spray will wet you: if you are not,, you will remian dry. Once a man is united to God, how could he not live forever? Once a man is separated from God, what can he do but wither and die.”

C.S. Lewis

Sunday, November 20, 2016

EXPLORATION 2017. THE FUTURE IS NOW.


“While there is life there is hope. I beg to assert...that as long as a man's heart beats, as long as a man's flesh quivers, I do not allow that a being gifted with thought and will can allow himself to despair.” 
― Jules VerneJourney to the Center of the Earth

Thursday, September 29, 2016

“Fish," he said softly, aloud, "I'll stay with you until I am dead.” ― Ernest Hemingway, The Old Man and the Sea


I've had this thing for a long time. A long, long time. About/kinda/sorta for 14 years.

That"s a long time.

It's been a dumping ground. Like a playground.

It makes me cringe to read a lot of earlier posts/years.

But, it still stays.

This thing.

This blog does not display a particular verbosity or any amount of insight or intelligence to screen capture, forward, share or get naked to.

Yet, I'm here. Fat Free Milk is here. We're both still here. Older. Hopefully a tiny bit wiser, but still a beautiful mess. Like a dorm room. Like laundry. Like colors on your fingers, hands and arms after painting.

The thing about this beautiful mess is that it's something that I've created. It doesn't define me. It's not a reflection of what I can do, what I can write and not a fraction of my Dalai Lama/Unicorn hybrid soul that I can't properly show you because of my care for your little cocktail onion corneas.

I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE, KIDS.

I've been here. I guess I had no choice anyway. I always knew it. If I ever said that i was smart, I was young and stupid to say it when I did. I'm not going to say it now because if I say it now - it'll make me look dumb in the future.

I HAVE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK, LOVE.

I own THE FUCKING BLOCK.  It's mine. MINE. I did it. Good or bad. I learned, I cried, I failed and I tried/just.now.rhymed.

I am 41 fucking years-young and can gut and filet this mortal coil better than you can.

I am 41 fucking years-old and need your help, love, hugs, encouragement and spirit.

I HAVE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK, LOVE.

I want to be here.

I want to stay more, k?

K.

Me and this thing.

I am Jane Goodall's Tanzanian monkeys typing about bananas. My fingers are Santa's little helpers. My hope is a sporadic rainfall - yet a torrential downpour in all creative environments. I am Theseus, unspooling golden yarn. Sisyphus, sweating uphill. Bukowski, scribbling away in rooming houses. A river always flowing. I am the nightmare of stagnancy and a God of Imagination.



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“Inner-freedom is less about feeling good and more about learning to develop a healthy and harmonious relationship with the variety of emotional states you're likely to occupy over the course of a lifetime.” 

― T.K. ColemanFreedom Without Permission: How to Live Free in a World That Isn't

Sunday, September 11, 2016

BB
















Hi

Hello

Like You

Love You

Happy

Scared

Confident

Holy Crap

STOP

Holy Crap

DO THAT MORE

HEY

I Like You

Please Be Kind Because

I Want This To Continue

I Do

THIS

Yeah that

Just NOT ALL OF THAT OTHER CRAP

K?

K.

Love,
K.

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Fat Free Milk LIKES...


Smoking when drinking
Tiny houses with genetically-engineered Cockroach/Mastiff front gate security guardians
ESB Han Solo googleplex
Cacti
JB2 Pulse speakers
Scrub Jays cackling in backyards
Tiny pin-wheel things placed in front yards
Nerd-themed, bad-odds Vegas slot machines
Coconuts, baby
Conditioned air
Honey Bees
Honking at people that you don't know when you're driving by
Your poetry book that I don't want to buy
My poetry book that you don't want either



Constellation mobile phone apps
Nephews that act like you even if you're a distant uncle
Cars that you get into that only play classical music. ALWAYS

Easily-forgivable-now-not-important-at-all-arguments
Stephen King
A microphone and an audience
Being able to make a fire better than you because, you suck at it.
Handshakes and high-fives
Spotify playlists
Making you laugh
Pickling and canning fruits and vegetables
Epsom salt baths
Earthquakes
Champagne
Batman
Making martinis
Scars with stories attached
Running on a treadmill
Bacon bought from a deli
Lavender
Fancy tie clips
Raccoons
Halloween

mod·i·cum
ˈmädəkəm/










Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Sometimes it takes a little bit of effort
to make things go far.

Monday, February 29, 2016

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

I BLACKED OUT TONIGHT


you were all crazy
mad
sick
gross and
wanting
eyes-crossed and
disappointing
your bright eyes
became baby ghosts
dying, shrinking and
vanishing in seconds
but it seemed to me
like eons
my time with you tonight
seemed so
so long
so damn long
I feel sorry for all of you
the lost flock tonight
but
when I see you again
when you see us again
I hope that our nights are much brighter
enveloped
shrouded
muchmuch better

If you can't be good by yourself

ZEN
LET'S
BE
AMAZING
TOGETHER

Saturday, January 23, 2016

WWLloydDoblerDo


Tonight's date...
was
so-so
love and like is flimsy
micro
alpha
radio
and
gamma rays

You're great,
LOVE(s)
you really are
but not
Today
and not
Tomorrow



Things that I buy when drunk 01


Wednesday, January 06, 2016

Heterochromia iridum

My eyes are two different colors.

sorta
kinda
slightly
one used to be blue
one's dark brown
one's lighter

but through the years
the lighter eye is slowly overtaking the darker one
slightly
in tiny-slice-of-pie-pieces

so
I think
that before I die
that my eyes will be lightlight brown
before
my body's in the groundgroundground

and by then?
would I care?
and did you ever notice?
besides when the sun
would strike me
directly in my eye(s)?





Monday, January 04, 2016

So Much 2...


write about
and 2 little time
2night
let's not make this a habit
let's not make this a thing again
2night lets pledge or
at least
make a loose promise
2 write more about

what 1 wants
what EYE want
before everything goes away forever

before it's 2 late


Wednesday, December 09, 2015

WWHPD?

I know that I'm getting older because my chest is starting to look like the "Sorting Hat" from Harry Potter.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Today is the greatest...


I bought a ceramic goat head, I got my eyes checked. I don't have Fat Free Milk 2002 eyes anymore - but I'm good. I'm good. Kind of. I'm listening to Peaches right now. She doesn't like window panes. I'm watching a movie that I first watched in 1986. Doc Background is performing experiments in the Brown - I bought toys for my friend's kids today, I had a crappy Ceaser salad tonight but an excellent meat and cheese plate. I can't stop my right leg from moving right now and pretty much all of the time. I have too much energy. I was ADD and ADHD before you were in your C and the RI and the B.  I'm realizing that I should've been George McFly for Halloween this year instead of BatDad. I'm listening to Concrete Blonde. Now, I'm listening to a song from Sinatra and Dinah Shore.

How are you?

email me at fatfreemilk@gmail.com

I see this every day
every night
this very moment
in the mirror
like slow-motion-Keanu/Neo Matrix moments
face-fucking every Ramones, Atari Teenage Riot and Slayer song at hummingbird speeds

Dying
Living
Trying






Friday, October 02, 2015

Like spring feels when you feel like what spring used to feel like.
Like rubbing wrists, chafed – that were bound before.
Like baby laughter and like a baby’s head smells like.

Like
Like
Like


Like you used to feel.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

It's Nice...


2 have you around
to see what you've been doing
2 know that you're well
to live vicariously through you and
2 know that I'm loved by you also

it's nice
to write 2night and
life surely is amazing at times
isn't it?

i just wanted to say it
before it's
2 late

Saturday, September 05, 2015

I Die Myself And I Want To Hate...


Burn everything that wasn't written on paper.

Oh, and my birth certificate. Save that.


angels

of the universe
dogs of death
galactic souls
babies breath

Saturday, July 25, 2015

A Ticket In Crime's Square...

I've been home for thirty minutes. I've changed out of my work clothes, I've made myself a drink, I've eaten a small amount of food-stuff, Morgan Freeman is on the television talking about Lemurs, my face is now washed, I smoked a cigarette (Stop Smoking), and I just killed an ant (Sorry, ant).

I just found an electric bill underneath my keyboard = $69.05. Due 06/03.

If I can write this now - I paid it.

I kid. Money gets sucked out of my bank account for various things:

electricity
gas
insurance
parasites
interwebbb

2bcontinued








Monday, July 13, 2015

Jack: [to Kate] Tell me something. How come any time there's a hike into the heart of darkness, you sign up?