You Bitch...

So my girlfriend is leaving for Europe in May. She's going to be gone for 19 days. There's a movie directed by Danny Boyle coming out called 28 Days Later. And no, it's not about Sandra Bullock and alcoholism. The Danny Boyle movie's about a guy who wakes up in a hospital and finds the whole city destroyed and deserted. But most importantly, he finds...a crapload of zombies. What does this have to do with my girlfriend leaving for 19 days? Nothing, I guess. I'll be eating a lot of human flesh when she's gone. Ha Ha. Just kidding.

She wasn't going to go on her trip because this really isn't the best time to travel. If it was me, I wouldn't of given a crap. The chances of being at the location of a terrorist attack are bitten-by-a-shark-slim, I presume. And I could care less. If I happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, who the hell would I blame? Madonna. I'd blame Madonna, just because. I'd just want to kick somebody's ass because they made my day really inconvenient by hijacking my -plane or throwing a Molotov cocktail at me while I was eating. Somebody would get their ass whooped, but otherwise...so it goes.

So. Girlfriend gone for 19 days? I don't know. I'm usually single, so it should be easy getting back to that mode of solitary normalcy. Well, single-yes. But not casual-sex-with-psycho-girls-mode like before. Single without the crazy-ass-alien-females. And how can you have "casual" sex with a psycho? What did I mean by that?

- Kevynn? Can I chop off your head with an axe after we do it?

- *stretches* Sure. But can we get something to eat first?

Would it be something like that? God, how I don't miss those days. Watch me break my other ankle when she's gone. Watch her hook up with a German boy with a bad haircut. Watch me hook up with a girl that acts like a German with a bad haircut. No, I'm really going to miss her and I can take care of myself. I won't get into too much trouble. I'll just write a lot and drink insane amounts of beer, but that's about it. Well, maybe a strip club here and there. Well, crap - I do that anyway when she's here.

Okay, so nothing will be different.

Goodbye.