"I wish I could put you in a cage with about a million mice an' let you have fun." His anger left him suddenly. He looked across the fire at Lennie's anguished face, and then he looked ashamedly at the flames.

I'm not dumb. I swear. I'm not slow. I'm quite the opposite. There are so many dumpster fires on in my mind that I have to turn off the stove before the lknsaflnfanklfas

SQUIRREL!!!
I'll brb

YOU ALWAYS LOOKED DUMB IN THAT PHARELL HAT......

Why do we listen to the sad and depressing music playlists more than the happy ones?

Hi.

Bye.

The Art of War...

In the sun, in the sun
I feel as one
In the sun, in the sun
Married, buried

L. A. Woman - The Doors

Thank you...

Brianne
Ryan
Ted.com
Jenny
Laura
Matt
Gretchen
Nikki
Paul
Mark
kyle
wilsons
April
Jamal
Chris
Sam
Sarah
Jen
Alan
Anne
Ron
Amy
Courtney
Paul!
Josue
I'm sorry, Bobby.
Yay, Jesse.
Amanda Lindsey
Fran Lindsey
Lizzie J
Lizzie H
Luis
Kelly Chid
TONY
CHRIS
JOE FUCKING PITOCCO
Dawne, sweet, little Dawne
Oh, Rachel
Dennis B. DUDE. So much.
Bob. M.
My Austin friends.
My Alta Loma friends.
Adam Langlois
Larry.
Steve.
Martha.
Johnsons
OMG, Patma
Danma
Jesse Cripps
La Tour
Snavema

Hi.

I'm at least, halfway through my life.

I want to be a Ferris
to your Simone
to be a Danny
to your Sandy
Pee Wee
to your Chairee

mooooo

later

You, Me and Everything Above and Below The Trees...

Our war ends TODAY.

My 30-Year Old Self Interviewed My 40-Year Old Self...DRAFT

My 30-Year Old Self Interviewied My 40-Year Old Self...DRAFT

Describe the 40 year old's house from the 30 years old's perspective. Like he's a legit interviewer. Describe the set up for the interview. And the room and the house that the interview is taking place in. Describe some of the 40 year old's mannerisms, etc.

30 - Before we start - I've got to say...I'm a HUGE fan.

40 - What? Seriously? That's kind of dumb. You...WE used to interview bands a little bit back in the day. That's what you say as an introduction? I - WE hate that shit! What's wrong with you? You okay, dude? And I'm looking at you too, dude You look fucking skinny, man. You look like I would if I did drugs. But you don't, I know. You need health insurance too and dental insurance. Seriously. Get that shit.

30 - You look...well. Ummm. Wait. What? Seriously. I mean - I am. I'm doing it, you know - I've just gotta -

40 - Nah. No, you're not.

30 - So. Uhmmm. So......you're not married, huh? And no kids? Dude. what happened?

40 - Nothing.

30 - I know, but - you know, I just kinda thought by now that -

40 - Nope. You and D broke up when you were 32. Sorry, buddy. Then came C and then came M and then came L and then came R and then came another M. Some were tiny dating relationships and don't really count. You have this to look forward to in the next ten years, dude. But it's good. It wasn't bad. Obviously there were some pretty heart-heavy and emotionally, fucking, heavy months and years but - it's okay. You will learn a shitload of stuff, my friend.

30 - Holy crap.

40 - Yeah...

30 - But what happened?

40 - Nothing, really. It's just people, man. Like I said - you'll learn a lot.

30 - Who was your - our favorite? Like, who did you -

40 - Dude. Seriously. Ask me something else.

30 - Okay. Sure. Ummm...Soooooo....I don't know what to say now.

40 - DUMB.

30 - Dude, that's not cool.

40 - Sorry. I'm not trying to be a dick. I love you. DUH. I really do. I'm just super tired and I get bored easily. ADHD, madness, compassion and I'm trying to bail out water in this tiny, yet tough boat that I'm in. I've got enough shit on my plate, man. Like, I'm sitting here -SUPER FUCKING TIRED. Like, I feel like I'm dying. Like I'm fucking dead. I'm dead when I'm awake. I'm a kid. I'm a zombie. I'm stupid. I'm wicked smaht, though. WICKED SMAHT.

30 - That sounds dumb.

40 - Yeah, dude. I'm sorry. Seriously. You've got a lot ahead of you.

30 - No. That sounds dumb what you said.

40 - What?

30 - I don't think that you've grown up that much, man - this is just what I'm saying. you like to talk. WE -I like to talk, yeah - for sure, but - DUDE. You sound just like me right now but just filled with more bullshit. you're not giving me that much hope. I mean, you're totally -

40 - Seriously? Awww...fuck yourself then. Go write some poetry, go...GO FUC

41 - HELLOOOOOO??????

30 - Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

41 - HEY!

30 - ( Slepp murmuring) I THOUGHT THEY SMELLED BAD..On..THE INSIDES...

41 - WAKE UP!!!

30 - DUDE. This is bumming me out.

41 - I fucking hate you. I hate this...wait...how can I hate THIS? Like...THIS? DUDE. I don't really hate YOU.

30 - Yeah. You hate you. Stupid hater-guy-future-jerk.

41 - ............

30 - Every time that you write a period in an elipsis an angel gets cancer in their hollow, brittle bird bones.

41 - ......

41 - ......

30 - Keep on killing angels, Freakazoid.

41 - ........I......HATE......YOU...........................

Thank you, Dear Reader...

The subject is misleading but fitting. We have never met. I just wanted to reach out and thank you. 

Somehow I stumbled across your blog years ago. I don't know why or how but I know when and it's the when that matters. I was going through some things. I lost someone close to me. I needed an escape. I didn't know what to do or how to cope. That's where you come in. You see, your blog inspired me to write. I have read every entry and whether it was a quote or lyrics or something personally philosophical it spoke to me when I needed it.

So sincerely, thank you. Thank you for helping me cope, inspiring me to write (even if its only for myself), and continuing to do your blog. Because on nights like tonight it's nice to check in and see if you've written anything new. It's nice to be able to randomly stop by and say "hello old friend". 

bb

I write less on here because of you.

ADD ADHD

ktm

Describe the 40 year old's house from the 30 years old's perspective. Like he's a legit interviewer. Describe the set up for the interview. And the room and the house that the interview is taking place in. Describe some of the 40 year old's mannerisms, etc.

30 - Before we start - I've got to say...I'm a HUGE fan.

40 - What? Seriously? That's kind of dumb. You...WE used to interview bands a little bit back in the day. That's what you say as an introduction? I - WE hate that shit! What's wrong with you? You okay, dude? And I'm looking at you too, dude You look fucking skinny, man. You look like I would if I did drugs. But you don't, I know. You need health insurance too and dental insurance. Seriously. Get that shit.

30 - You look...well. Ummm. Wait. What? Seriously. I mean - I am. I'm doing it, you know - I've just gotta -

40 - Nah. No, you're not.

30 - So. Uhmmm. So......you're not married, huh? And no kids? Dude. what happened?

40 - Nothing.

30 - I know, but - you know, I just kinda thought by now that -

40 - Nope. You and D broke up when you were 32. Sorry, buddy. Then came C and then came M and then came L and then came R and then came another M. Some were tiny dating relationships and don't really count. You have this to look forward to in the next ten years, dude. But it's good. It wasn't bad. Obviously there were some pretty heart-heavy and emotionally, fucking, heavy months and years but - it's okay. You will learn a shitload of stuff, my friend.

30 - Holy crap.

40 - Yeah...

30 - But what happened?

40 - Nothing, really. It's just people, man. Like I said - you'll learn a lot.

30 - Who was your - our favorite? Like, who did you -

40 - Dude. Seriously. Ask me something else.

30 - Okay. Sure. Ummm...Soooooo....I don't know what to say now.

40 - DUMB.

30 - Dude, that's not cool.

40 - Sorry. I'm not trying to be a dick. I love you. DUH. I really do. I'm just super tired and I get bored easily. ADHD, madness, compassion and I'm trying to bail out water in this tiny, yet tough boat that I'm in. I've got enough shit on my plate, man. Like, I'm sitting here -SUPER FUCKING TIRED. Like, I feel like I'm dying. Like I'm fucking dead. I'm dead when I'm awake. I'm a kid. I'm a zombie. I'm stupid. I'm wicked smaht, though. WICKED SMAHT.

30 - That sounds dumb.

40 - Yeah, dude. I'm sorry. Seriously. You've got a lot ahead of you.

30 - No. That sounds dumb what you said.

40 - What?

30 - I don't think that you've grown up that much, man - this is just what I'm saying. you like to talk. WE -I like to talk, yeah - for sure, but - DUDE. You sound just like me right now but just filled with more bullshit. you're not giving me that much hope. I mean, you're totally -

40 - Seriously? Awww...fuck yourself then. Go write some poetry, go...GO FUC

A VERY SERIOUS RUMBLING. ROLLING THUNDER. LED ZEPPELIN LIGHTNING. A SEAM IN THE FABRIC OF OUR REALITY SPLITS SUDDENLY. WE SEE A BLOODSHOT SHARK-LIKE EYE OF AN OLD GOD. TESSERACTS, RIFTS, BLEEDS, SHIMMYS, HADRON DEMONS POUR THRPOUGH DIMENSIONAL TEARS LIKE THE TEARS OF

They wake up. Sudnly . lik a bed dreem from

DUDE!

I haven't seen you in a while! How are you? Are you well?

Dude, like - seriously! How are you?

10 Most Mysterious Things Discovered by Archaeologists

NEED

draft


Nasal strips
SAM-E
Blackout curtains
A soft eye mask
Background noise

Charlie: "I'll have what he's having. Hemlock, is it?" Maverick: "Ice water."

Impressions

Jimmy Stewart

Goofy

Scooby Doo

Scrappy Doo?

Scooby Dum?

Shaggy

Casey Kasem

Lion-O

Panthro

Tigra

Snarf

Popeye

Bluto

Mickey Mouse

The Cowardly Lion

The Scarecrow

Jim Backus

Mr. Magoo

Barney Fife

Clarence Whorley

Drexel Spivey

Mr. Pink

Jack Kerouac

Allen Ginsberg

William Burroughs

Gandalf

Johnny Carson

Dean Martin

Jerry Lewis?

The Dark Crystal

Perry Como

Walter Winchell

Walter Cronkite

The Beatles

Johnny Depp

Animal

A goat

A bored bartender

A bored mixoligist

A bored waiter

Somebody from the faculty bored

Krusty the Clown

Moe from Moe’s Tavern

Hank Hill

Pee-Wee Herman

Cartman

Bullwinkle

Rocky

Mr. Burns.

Smithers

Carl Sagan

Guy Feirie

Tim Gunn

Negan

My Mom

My Dad

My Brother

The Proclaimers

Andrew Lincoln

JFK

RFK

Generic Lisp Guy

Gloomer Generic

Yogi

Boo Boo

Tape Face

Hector

-->

Mongo

and more to come!

“If you want to get warm you must stand near the fire: if you want to be wet you must get into the water."

"If you want joy, power, peace, eternal life, you must get close to, or even into, the thing that has them. They are not a sort of prize which God could, if He chose, hand out to anyone. They are a great fountain of energy and beauty spurting up at the very centre of reality. If you are close to it, the spray will wet you: if you are not,, you will remian dry. Once a man is united to God, how could he not live forever? Once a man is separated from God, what can he do but wither and die.”

C.S. Lewis

EXPLORATION 2017. THE FUTURE IS NOW.

“While there is life there is hope. I beg to assert...that as long as a man's heart beats, as long as a man's flesh quivers, I do not allow that a being gifted with thought and will can allow himself to despair.” 
― Jules Verne, Journey to the Center of the Earth

“Fish," he said softly, aloud, "I'll stay with you until I am dead.” ― Ernest Hemingway, The Old Man and the Sea

I've had this thing for a long time. A long, long time. About/kinda/sorta for 14 years.

That"s a long time.

It's been a dumping ground. Like a playground.

It makes me cringe to read a lot of earlier posts/years.

But, it still stays.

This thing.

This blog does not display a particular verbosity or any amount of insight or intelligence to screen capture, forward, share or get naked to.

Yet, I'm here. Fat Free Milk is here. We're both still here. Older. Hopefully a tiny bit wiser, but still a beautiful mess. Like a dorm room. Like laundry. Like colors on your fingers, hands and arms after painting.

The thing about this beautiful mess is that it's something that I've created. It doesn't define me. It's not a reflection of what I can do, what I can write and not a fraction of my Dalai Lama/Unicorn hybrid soul that I can't properly show you because of my care for your little cocktail onion corneas.

I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE, KIDS.

I've been here. I guess I had no choice anyway. I always knew it. If I ever said that i was smart, I was young and stupid to say it when I did. I'm not going to say it now because if I say it now - it'll make me look dumb in the future.

I HAVE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK, LOVE.

I own THE FUCKING BLOCK.  It's mine. MINE. I did it. Good or bad. I learned, I cried, I failed and I tried/just.now.rhymed.

I am 41 fucking years-young and can gut and filet this mortal coil better than you can.

I am 41 fucking years-old and need your help, love, hugs, encouragement and spirit.

I HAVE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK, LOVE.

I want to be here.

I want to stay more, k?

K.

Me and this thing.

I am Jane Goodall's Tanzanian monkeys typing about bananas. My fingers are Santa's little helpers. My hope is a sporadic rainfall - yet a torrential downpour in all creative environments. I am Theseus, unspooling golden yarn. Sisyphus, sweating uphill. Bukowski, scribbling away in rooming houses. A river always flowing. I am the nightmare of stagnancy and a God of Imagination.

This accessory may not be supported. Dismiss

“Inner-freedom is less about feeling good and more about learning to develop a healthy and harmonious relationship with the variety of emotional states you're likely to occupy over the course of a lifetime.” 

― T.K. Coleman, Freedom Without Permission: How to Live Free in a World That Isn't

BB

Hi

Hello

Like You

Love You

Happy

Scared

Confident

Holy Crap

STOP

Holy Crap

DO THAT MORE

HEY

I Like You

Please Be Kind Because

I Want This To Continue

I Do

THIS

Yeah that

Just NOT ALL OF THAT OTHER CRAP

K?

K.

Love,
K.

Fat Free Milk LIKES...

Smoking when drinking

Tiny houses with genetically-engineered Cockroach/Mastiff front gate security guardians

ESB Han Solo googleplex

Cacti

JB2 Pulse speakers

Scrub Jays cackling in backyards

Tiny pin-wheel things placed in front yards

Nerd-themed, bad-odds Vegas slot machines

Coconuts, baby

Conditioned air

Honey Bees

Honking at people that you don't know when you're driving by

Your poetry book that I don't want to buy

My poetry book that you don't want either

Constellation mobile phone apps

Nephews that act like you even if you're a distant uncle

Cars that you get into that only play classical music. ALWAYS

Easily-forgivable-now-not-important-at-all-arguments

Stephen King

A microphone and an audience

Being able to make a fire better than you because, you suck at it.

Handshakes and high-fives

Spotify playlists

Making you laugh

Pickling and canning fruits and vegetables

Epsom salt baths

Earthquakes

Champagne

Batman

Making martinis

Scars with stories attached

Running on a treadmill

Bacon bought from a deli

Lavender

Fancy tie clips

Raccoons

Halloween

mod·i·cum

ˈmädəkəm/