Thursday, February 19, 2015


Keep it short.
Pee during commercial breaks.
Go!
Hurry up.
Reeelaaaxxxx......
Drive-Thru.
Enter password.
There's going to be a twenty minute wait.
I'm sorry, we're all booked up.
SOLD.
Reserve not met.
Breathe.
Limited space for ACME YOGA.
We're sorry, due to low attendance - ACME YOGA's session has been cancelled.
Gas is cheap.
Food is expensive.
I have cancer.
Fireball shots for everyone!
Lost dog.
Please spay and neuter your pets.
Please be kind, rewind.
I don't live in the past.
What do I have to look forward to, said the donkey?
A carrot, said the master.
Bees are dying.
Honey will be expensive.
People are dying.
Honey will be expensive.

It's 6:00 A.M. as I time this.

Type is precious.
 

Saturday, February 14, 2015


The other day I received numerous texts and Facebook messages on my phone. Apparently, there was a guy running around town dressed up as Spider-Man.

My friends assumed it was me.

C'mon, guys...

BATMAN.

I'm BATMAN.

DUH.

Friday, February 06, 2015

Hillians and Veros......


Dr. Octopus
not a hugger

The Joker
introverted

Doctor Doom
vain

Braniac
dumb

Flash
stoner

Batman
needs to focus

and I will finish this later.....




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If I was a politician, I would lie to you. If I was a scientist, I would show you the facts. If I was a cop, I would write you not poems but tickets. If I was an artist, I would define lines. If you were Jesus, I'd ask you for a prayer. If you were Buddha, I'd ask for enlightenment. If you were a fireman, I'd ask you to please, please help me extinguish this fire.


Friday, January 30, 2015

YOU


EWE
YOO
EHYEW
U
EIW
YEU
EUY
YEWH
eHUGH
EHUHw
EHeeew
YOOeew
Ueewww
iyoo

BE WELL.



Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Dear Samantha, this year didn't start off as well as I expected but I'm going to take it and turn it all around and think about it as a positive experience and not a negative one. No details needed but...the overall lesson is for all of planet Earth to not be a Dick York about small things and if you catch yourself being a Dick Sargent about small things then...STOP BEING A DARRIN STEPHENS. Because that's a big thing.

This applies to all of us mere mortals.

Metric- Gimme Sympathy lyrics

Sunday, January 04, 2015

You ask me to play more classical music...

I say to go through my records and pick something that you've never heard before.

WU-TANG?

Well played, Grasshopper.

Well played.

Saturday, January 03, 2015

My Heart...

is a spaceship.

You're a passenger.

Fare thee well.

I wish you Godspeed, traveller.

I went for a drive again...

I came home three hours later.

Southern California/OC is a strange, strange place.

It makes no sense.

Alaska makes sense.

It's probably a lot harder to drive around aimlessly in certain parts of Alaska, I bet.

That's about all that I have to say.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Tuesday, December 09, 2014

Memoirs of a "Latch-Key" Kid 1984-2014


How many years is that? I can't even do the math though it's right on top of my head, or at least in the heading right on top of the what I'm writing's heads head.

I didn't hyphenate, I usually do - but sometimes when I hyphenate, it makes me hyperventilate...so...I...use...da ellipses......instead......

There's a tablet to my left. It's making me not write right now. If I could stop the Home Depot commercial - I could write about it forever. It wasn't necessarily bad. Most of you wouldn't even notice how bad it was. It easier to share in real life. I will write and maybe it will come back again. Fuck. I'm playing stuff on the tablet via Hulu Plus. You, know? The thing that I pay for for more content and less ads? you know. The thing that I'm writing about right now? I shouldn't be doing this right now. I should be smarter, writing about smart things.

..........waiting for the Home Depot commercial.......ellipsesssssss

still not here





Saturday, November 29, 2014

Listen To Books. Read Music. See Feelings. Hear HERE.


I'm clearing my throat.

For whatever I'm about to write/say, apparently.

I'm here. Still here. Writing stuff.

Sometimes that's enough.

HERE.

Knuckles dug/deep/burrowing into my eyes.

Wiping away the crust of days gone past, every night. Everything.

Here are my ears opened.

My head starting to turn.

Creaking sometimes. Sometimes snapping quickly left to right.

Like old parts in a factory that work best with age.
Like new parts that need to be broken in.

My eyes have seen enough but...I'm a baby. I'm a newborn fucking baby.
Every blink of mine is a lifetime, wanted/used/wasted.

I think that I'm at the toddler's stage now.

My teenage years are going to be a shit show.

GET READY.

Get ready FOR WHAT COMES AFTER THAT.



Tuesday, November 18, 2014

So...

You came home stoned from watching sporadic meteors and appreciating their presence.

I've been hand-feeding a stray kitty for hours tonight but really in the last month, in the hope that it stays in my backyard so that it doesn't get eaten by the coyotes that have been hanging out with me in MY FRONT YARD recently.

Apparently, homeless kitties are like Kryptonite to you, you space cadets.

For shame. Before you look up, Josue and Jen - you've got to look down. Meow.

Before you look up?

MEOW IS ON THE GROUND.

Your reaction to a homeless kitty was gross.

I'm elevated and looking down on you.

Meow.

I hope homeless kitty wakes you up when you sleep tonight.

A cosmic, saber-toothed, fucking tiger that bites you deep in your hypocritical heart.

Her name is 

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

The Dreams Were So Vivid, So Haunting, SO REAL...


and then I woke up.

Like, a million times.

I chose not to work today.

I didn't want to.

So, I didn't.

I'm not spoiled.
I work hard and put up with a lot of shit.
I work hard and revel in an overabundance of beauty.
I love it, but...

I chose not to work today.

I didn't want to.

I saw a movie.
I ate crap food.
I went for a drive.
I drove so much that I almost ran out of gas.
I got gas.
I went to the grocery store.
I bought firewood, curry powder, a lottery ticket, TIME Magazine, a lemon, paper towels, orange juice, toilet paper and a packet of blue ink disposable pens.

The movie that I watched was still orbiting around in my head.
I got a text from a friend.
He wasn't doing well/not doing well.
I came home in five minutes.
We talked.
I made a fire.
We talked longer.
and longer...

I chose not to work today.

I'm glad.

My work, my play, does not define my life.

MY LIFE is defined by YOU.

You come to me.
You guys always do.

I'm okay with that.

YOU make MY LIFE BETTER.

By a million times.

and then I fall asleep.







Art by JOCK





Monday, October 20, 2014

I miss every single one of you.
And when I don't think of you.
I don't miss you at all.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

All Together. In A Room.

Rocky Balboa
Peter Quill
Strunk and White
Henry Chinaski

Sailor Ripley
Richard Hawley
Hemingway
And James Nachtwey

Ahab
The Old Man
Nemo
And James Cameron


Sorry. It’s late.

Sleep well...


Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Come back from your trip and trip on what you came back to.


Tuesday, September 09, 2014

EYE

erased everything that ive written on this
and now im writing this
with no capitalization
or punctuation in this

the 2 things that i wrote before this - i had to save
i had to wrap my head around what i was saying
or TRYING to say

so i saved it
i saved it
it saved itself so
that i can
write more on it

it will be much more
much more than this
because i what i hover over is
not THIS
but the things that i think
the things that you miss

and sometimes what i save
is sososo
much better than this

so i save it
I want to fist bump you with (SNIKT!) extracted Wolverine claws or fist bump you with Incredible Hulk Hands.

Thursday, September 04, 2014


the worst thing that i could do is be with you
the worst thing that i could do is start golfing
the worst decision that i could make is to not be with you
the best decision ever that i could make is to continue to not golf