Cần Thơ gạo trắng nước trong, Ai đi đến đó lòng không muốn về.

She describes being attracted to my father, whom she had met through acquaintances, because when she first saw him he was walking down the street, looking at the sky.

I am Jane Goodall's Tanzanian monkeys typing about not typing...

What little writing that I do now is for other people. In the last couple of years, I've written DJ bios, Blargh content, worked on other people's plays, student films, funeral rites, parking-ticket legalese, Vietnamese Pho Menus and Dr. Who action figure catalogues, etc.

I am a shitty writer. Really. A hack. But it sucks because I do the I-Am-A-Shitty-Writer-Really-A Hack-But-It-Sucks-Because-I-Do-The-I-Am-A-Shitty-Writer-Really-A-Hack-But-It-Sucks-Because-I-Do-The-I-Am-A-Shitty-Writer-Really-But-It-Sucks-Stuff.

Because...Shit, It's been a bit strange, Strangers.

I'm in my backyard right now. Typing on the laptop in the dark. Afraid of Avacados falling on my head. My head is tick-tocking back and forth like a Metronome. I want to get drunk and to put down every single, fucking, goddamn thing before it's too late.

It's not about the amount of hours passing and pissing away anymore
but
It's all about the amount of time not creating and writing about
What's here
and not anymore.

The bulk of my writing that I do now will be only for me.

A shark jumped the shark a long time time ago...

ratings are low
but this show will never be canceled
never

Chess. Smoke. Poem. Soda Pop. Jeanette Walls. Smoke. Hulu/Nova.com = Sleestak-hissing sleep.

Fat Free Milk

Meet Me (1996 Notebook)

There's a sad song on
no one to read this
and only one person to write it

as long as I live
I will never give up
I'll still laugh
and even
in poverty and poetry
I'll still know more
and be
more aware of things
than all of you

I'm just waiting
and am tired
       of fighting
       the invisibles
that only I
       can see

Samuel Twain And Stephen Bachman...

Exiting Wormholes at the same time =

I wrote a lot when I was more stupider.

-

Every day
Waging war
With Peace

I sailed a wild, wild sea
Climbed up a tall, tall mountain
I met a old, old man
Beneath a weeping willow tree
He said now if you got some questions
Go and lay them at my feet
But my time here is brief
So you'll have to pick just three

And I said
What do you do with the pieces of a broken heart
And how can a man like me remain in the light
And if life is really as short as they say
Then why is the night so long
And then the sun went down
And he sang for me this song

See I once was a young fool like you
Afraid to do the things
That I knew I had to do
So I played an escapade just like you
I played an escapade just like you
I sailed a wild, wild sea
Climbed up a tall, tall mountain
I met an old, old man
He sat beneath a sapling tree
He said now if you got some questions
Go and lay them at my feet
But my time here is brief
So you'll have to pick just three

And I said
What do you do with the pieces of a broken heart
And how can a man like me remain in the light
And if life is really as short as they say
Then why is the night so long
And then the sun went down
And he played for me this song

From the Desk of Terrence Malick.....

We trace the evolution of an eleven-year-old boy in the Midwest, Jack, one of three brothers. At first all seems marvelous to the child. He sees as his mother does with the eyes of his soul. She represents the way of love and mercy, where the father tries to teach his son the world’s way of putting oneself first. Each parent contends for his allegiance, and Jack must reconcile their claims. The picture darkens as he has his first glimpses of sickness, suffering and death. The world, once a thing of glory, becomes a labyrinth.
From this story is that of adult Jack, a lost soul in a modern world, seeking to discover amid the changing scenes of time that which does not change: the eternal scheme of which we are a part. When he sees all that has gone into our world’s preparation, each thing appears a miracle—precious, incomparable. Jack, with his new understanding, is able to forgive his father and take his first steps on the path of life.
The story ends in hope, acknowledging the beauty and joy in all things, in the everyday and above all in the family—our first school—the only place that most of us learn the truth about the world and ourselves, or discover life’s single most important lesson, of unselfish love.

Fringe

In an alternate reality, Alternate Me woke up at a respectable seven a.m. on a Tuesday morning. Alternate Me yawned, dismissed the alarm on his iPhiloticiAnsibleiPhone, shuffled to the bathroom and after Alternate Me was finished, Alternate Me washed his hands and smiled at himself in the mirror.

Alternate Me said to his own reflection, "Trying Are World The In People Smartest The."

Apocalypse Meow

When the clouds get heavierdarkerthreatening
andirealizethati have to get out of here
and FAST
I will take my picturessomewaternicecomfortableshoes
and YOU
and iguessyourcat

Righting

on paper tonight.

So sorry.

Transcript for Stephen Hawking asks big questions about the universe

There is nothing bigger or older than the universe. Your questions I would like to talk about are: One, where did we come from? How did the universe come into being? Are we alone in the universe? Is there alien life out there? What is the future of the human race?

Up until the 1920s, everyone thought the universe was essentially static and unchanging in time. Then it was discovered that the universe was expanding. Distant galaxies were moving away from us. This meant they must have been closer together in the past. If we extrapolate back, we find we must have all been on top of each other about 15 billion years ago. This was the Big Bang, the beginning of the universe.

But was there anything before the Big Bang? If not, what created the universe? Why did the universe emerge from the Big Bang the way it did? We used to think that the theory of the universe could be divided into two parts. First, there were the laws like Maxwell's equations and general relativity that determined the evolution of the universe, given its state over all of space at one time. And second, there was no question of the initial state of the universe.

We have made good progress on the first part, and now have the knowledge of the laws of evolution in all but the most extreme conditions. But until recently, we have had little idea about the initial conditions for the universe. However, this division into laws of evolution and initial conditions depends on time and space being separate and distinct. Under extreme conditions, general relativity and quantum theory allow time to behave like another dimension of space. This removes the distinction between time and space and means the laws of evolution can also determine the initial state. The universe can spontaneously create itself out of nothing.

Moreover, we can calculate a probability that the universe was created in different states. These predictions are in excellent agreement with observations by the WMAP satellite of the cosmic microwave background, which is an imprint of the very early universe. We think we have solved the mystery of creation. Maybe we should patent the universe and charge everyone royalties for their existence.

I now turn to the second big question: Are we alone, or is there other life in the universe? We believe that life arose spontaneously on the Earth, so it must be possible for life to appear on other suitable planets, of which there seem to be a large number in the galaxy.

But we don't know how life first appeared. We have two pieces of observational evidence on the probability of life appearing. The first is that we have fossils of algae from 3.5 billion years ago. The earth was formed 4.6 billion years ago and was probably too hot for about the first half billion years. So life appeared on earth within half a billion years of it being possible, which is short compared to the ten billion-year lifetime of a planet of Earth-type. This suggests that a probability of life appearing is reasonably high. If it was very low, one would have expected it to take most of the ten billion years available.

On the other hand, we don't seem to have been visited by aliens. I am discounting the reports of UFOs. Why would they appear only to cranks and weirdos? If there is a government conspiracy to suppress the reports and keep for itself the scientific knowledge the aliens bring, it seems to have been a singularly ineffective policy so far. Furthermore, despite an extensive search by the SETI project, we haven't heard any alien television quiz shows. This probably indicates that there are no alien civilizations at our stage of development within a radius of a few hundred light years. Issuing an insurance policy against abduction by aliens seems a pretty safe bet.

This brings me to the last of the big questions: The future of the human race. If we are the only intelligent beings in the galaxy, we should make sure we survive and continue. But we are entering an increasingly dangerous period of our history. Our population and our use of the finite resources of planet Earth are growing exponentially, along with our technical ability to change the environment for good or ill. But our genetic code still carries the selfish and aggressive instincts that were of survival advantage in the past. It will be difficult enough to avoid disaster in the next hundred years, let alone the next thousand or million.

Our only chance of long-term survival is not to remain lurking on planet Earth, but to spread out into space. The answers to these big questions show that we have made remarkable progress in the last hundred years. But if we want to continue beyond the next hundred years, our future is in space. That is why I am in favor of manned -- or should I say, personed space flight.

All of my life I have sought to understand the universe and find answers to these questions. I have been very lucky that my disability has not been a serious handicap; indeed, it has probably given me more time than most people to pursue the quest for knowledge. The ultimate goal is a complete theory of the universe, and we are making good progress. Thank you for listening.

Chris Anderson: Professor, if you had to guess either way, do you now believe that it is more likely than not that we are alone in the Milky Way, as a civilization of our level of intelligence or higher? This answer took seven minutes, and really gave me an insight into the incredible act of generosity this whole talk was for TED.

Stephen Hawking: I think it quite likely that we are the only civilization within several hundred light years; otherwise we would have heard radio waves. The alternative is that civilizations don't last very long, but destroy themselves. CA: Professor Hawking, thank you for that answer. We will take it as a salutary warning, I think, for the rest of our conference this week. Professor, we really thank you for the extraordinary effort you made to share your questions with us today. Thank you very much indeed.

May your neighbors respect you, 
Trouble neglect you,
The angels protect you
And heaven accept you. 

Aye

I don't care that it's late. I'm not drunk. I was tired tonight and then I had energy and then I was tired and then I got very hungry and then I ate and then I got tired because I ate as much as I could and then work got me tired even more so and my mind hurt(ed) because what I do that pays the bills' :) hurts and hurts and hurts my heads' :) and my souls' :) and then The Deus Ex Machina Super-Duper/Future Scissors' :) come out and it cuts' :) out my spirits' :) and it doesn't bother to cut within the lines and then my sloppy spirits' :) is all-splayed out and like, you know, like, it's all sloppy and the the Elmers Glue Stick poops out from the edges and I get all, like embarrassed and stuff because if I'm going to let you peek at my private parts and then, like...

Then what?

Uuurgggghhhh. I've been doing teen angst for way too long.
Uuurgggghhhh. I've been doing adult angst for way too long.

I don't care that it's late.

So, what then?

I'm embarrassed about the stuff that I let you peek at and I'm embarrassed that I'm a sloppy writer and I'm embarrassed that this is one of the only conduits that I have left and I'm sorry that I'm a whiny writer and I apologetically apologize for (non)writing about my work, my energy, my mind on my money and my money on my minds' :)

I don't care that it's late.
I          care now.
I don't care.
It's late.
I care.
I don't.


Now what?

:)

Free Milk Fat

I get a lot of spam on Fat Free Milk.

Don't even ask me what the search results are on Fat Free Milk.

Seriously, think about it...


Via search results? My keywords on Fat Free Milk are:

Fat
Free
and Milk

It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror... Horror has a face... and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends.

in utero

You'll be grown before this tree is tall...

Die Antwoord...

You know what sucks about writing whilst one of your Pandora Radio stations plays in the background?
You start to pound the keys and sometimes a song comes up that totally sucks ass.
So, you can either continue to pound away to shrilling Harpies or...

I don't know how to explain pkd/lights in corners/static/ghosts/etc/blargh/justaskme/Quartz Lane

http://www.scribd.com/doc/3230/Robert-Crumb-The-Religious-Experience-of-Philip-K-Dick

This is too big of a project for my mind to mine and to fathom...

I don't know if I can continue to put the puzzle fragments together...

It does involve characters in a movie that I dreamed for hours while I slept
replaying, rewinding, nostalgia, danger and bad elements that...god, I sound like a psycho...

I keep on remembering things and they piece together with other things that I've experienced and with things that Ive written before.

It really involves Philip K. Dick - which is FUCKED UP. Because....some of his biggest, craziest moments changed his life and affected stories that he wrote AND I lived down the street from where he used to live when I experienced a BIG thing in my life AND....I am so screwed...I don't know if I can write this - so far, so good, though....

Two nights of writing in a row. I'm excited for the dreams that I have tonight BUT scared, also..

What I'm going to write after I get off of this...I NEEDED TO TAKE A BREATHER....will put me in a crazier, creative state...

This is the weirdest thing that I've ever written....

and it ties into my life and the dreams that I had last night and PKD's experiences?

okay bye....writng....nnnnnnNOW

oink

I need to start writing regardless of how late it is.

It's better then nothing, eh?

Tomorrow I will read this and vow never to sling slop in this trough again.

the rain the rain the rain keeps pouring
and words keep spilling into my ears
and they are wet words
slippery, slimy things that my atrophied brain
doesn't want to absorb
HOWDOISTEMTHISFLOW?
this boring trickle
HOWDOISTEMTHISFLOW!
boringboringboring drops
all you
and not me
a reign a reign a reign of cattezz' and doggzez'
a drip and another drip always
flooding hope patience my will
i don't want to drown
to sail this vessel past the edge of The Earth
or to cast my sextet into the void, frustrated
i want warmth
shelter
security
and an empty ARK
so that I can sail a world anew
ALONEALONeALOneALoneAlonealone
and
ALONE
please

Oh My.

Thank Gandalf. I got this back. It went away. bksafdjkbffasnmsaf,mnfsa