Fat Free Milk

7/15/25

Hi, Maria!

Sorry about the huge amount of pictures - I couldn't help myself. I have a lot more than this, lol - but hopefully this represents a good, creative range of content. Thank you!

6/26/25

Wet Naps at The Regal Beagle…

Okay

maybe

I’m stupid

or maybe I’m just stupid

But I bet you a million dollars

that I'm

totally

stupid

or at the least

just stupid

but

in the

2,369 years

that I’ve had

this unsexy

and fugly

Fat Free Milk blog

would you believe

that I’ve never made

any money off of it

Well, I did ONCE

A small amount

A pitance

An amount that was MORE

than what your sister

typically makes in an hour

and MUCH less

than what your Mother

makes in a week

I mean

in all seriousness

how many years ago

did I start this?

progressively, as the years ammassed

what was once an occasional

time-passing amusement and an

occasional, head-shaking wonder

slowly grew into a miasmic

low-cost, sporadically-attended

occasionally-maintained subscription service

or some other necessary likened

similar or disimilar obligation

akin to the monthly upkeep of my lawn

and much-needed scaping of it's land

or the habitual equivalent

monthly costs of food delivery or much-needed manscaping

I'm a poor representative of my people

My people?

Who are my people?

What are they called?

WHO are they?

What are they called?

The Chosen Juans?

The Right Hand of Dog?

The Children of Cleetus?

The Lords of Lobot?

The 9 of Nein Numb Five?

The Gombe Primates of Tanzanian Doom?

The Lords of Traci?

The Whore foreskins of Alpaca Lips?

The Just in Case of Dillas?

The Moons Over My Hammy?

The Play It Again Slams?

Nooooo, my PEOPLE

The ones that are both Half-Vietnamese

and Half-Irish

And I don't mean

the Vietnamese AND the Irish

Noooooo, MY people.

The Half Vietnamese and Half Irish.

Fractions, fractals, yin-yang, Dr. Doom and Kang

The Id, Ego, The1 Self and the Elf on The Shelf

The persona, the psyche,

aaaaannnnd there are too many distractions here

plodding, manimals, leeches, slugs

not caring too much and easy to please

I would be too if i only had three things inside my mind

I don't think many people would want to take my place

or to be me

but I would never, ever

want to be you

i'd get lost in the space behind your eyes

Yeah, i dobt know where this went but it's gone, kablooey,

derailed by dodo and my own brain

6/25/25

6/23/25

Here I am in the future, and here you are in my past. Here we are, both of us, together. Right now. Here. Why though? Is it fate? Destiny? Kismet? Synchronicity? Ka? Is it written has it been foretold? Is this like the Oracle at Delphi have the runes been cast? Can you see it in the bones? What’s the name of the mechanical fortuneteller in the movie, Big? Zoltan? I never thought of it, but why didn’t they make a sequel where Tom Hank’s’ character wishes he was younger?

I’m also wondering where all this traffic is coming from? I’d like my friends overseas to say hello because I don’t really understand why my blog is of interest to them, everyone is more than welcome though, I will all friendly people. This is just a place, a dumping ground for random pots from a small child, from a boy man from someone who lives in the past, and these are random words and transmissions sent to you from the future. Welcome, be nice and be well.

6/20/25

Haley Joel Ozwald Cobblepot KettleOne is The Loneliest Numbskull duggerealizaaa MINELLI FurtaDo VANILLI - Girl, you know it's true dat

Here is a compilation of 25 popular AI characters from fiction, encompassing both books and films, followed by a list of 11 (because 12 is too much and 10 is BORING) more obscure ones:

25 Popular AI Characters:

HAL 9000 - 2001: A Space Odyssey (Arthur C. Clarke)

Samantha - Her (Spike Jonze)

The Terminator - Terminator franchise (James Cameron)

Cortana - Halo video game series

Skynet - Terminator franchise (James Cameron)

Ava - Ex Machina (Alex Garland)

WALL-E - WALL-E (Pixar)

GERTY - Moon (Duncan Jones)

Data - Star Trek: The Next Generation (TV series)

The Machine - Person of Interest (TV series)

KITT - Knight Rider (TV series)

Ash - Alien (Ridley Scott)

Vision - Marvel Comics

Roy Batty - Blade Runner (Philip K. Dick)

Marvin the Paranoid Android - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)

The Matrix - The Matrix trilogy (The Wachowskis)

Agent Smith - The Matrix trilogy (The Wachowskis)

TARS - Interstellar (Christopher Nolan)

VIKI - I, Robot (Isaac Asimov)

David - A.I. Artificial Intelligence (Steven Spielberg)

AM - I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream (Harlan Ellison)

Bishop - Alien franchise (James Cameron)

Samantha- Blade Runner 2049 (Denis Villeneuve)

Joi - Blade Runner 2049 (Denis Villeneuve)

The AI System - Upgrade (Leigh Whannell)

11 More Obscure AI Characters:

Wintermute - Neuromancer (William Gibson)

Quorra - Tron: Legacy (Joseph Kosinski)

The Institute - The Institute (Stephen King)

AMEE - Red Planet (Antony Hoffman)

Neuromancer - Neuromancer (William Gibson)

Zero - Ghost in the Shell (Mamoru Oshii)

Puppet Master - Ghost in the Shell (Masamune Shirow)

Mike - The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress (Robert A. Heinlein)

Golem XIV - The Golem XIV (Stanislaw Lem)

Maelcum - Neuromancer (William Gibson)

Jane - Ender's Game series (Orson Scott Card)

Okaybyeeeeeee

5/28/25

DO SOMETHING

NAG THYSELF

AVOID COGNITIVE BIAS

AVOID SPEAKING

DEVELOP THREAT RESPONSE

CHANGE UP YOUR WORKSPACE

PAY YOUR DEBTS

LOW SODIUM

15% OF INCOME ANNUALLY FOR RETIREMENT

START A SIDE HUSTLE

3/27/25

I Am Kevin Malone’s Brain Buzzing with Colony Collapse Disorder

👀👂👃☝👇👈👉👻👼👳👾👿💀💢💟💓💔💥💦💧💨💫💩💬💭😦😱😳😵😶🙈🙅🙉🙆🙊🙇😣😤😩👶☺💬💬💬💭👤👎

My ADHD is making it impossible to list comic books to sell. Imagine a billion bumblebees on an island made entirely of candy, while swarms of buzzing drones with TV screens flashing auto-tuned music videos and cryptic messages every two seconds. Meanwhile, this same island erupts molten lava 25,000 feet into the sky every four seconds, and rains down goofball-sized hail in a torrential, percussion-like downpour. Microscopic, buzzing nanobites swarm through my veins, emitting subsonic warbles that echo from my toenails to the tips of my eyelashes.

Every time I try to focus, it’s like the world’s strongest magnet yanks my whole body and flickering attention toward something else—anything else—pulling me in with adamant, unrelenting force. These distractions last anywhere from a few minutes to whole afternoons, like stepping out of a dark theater into blinding sun—confused, raw, and newly born.

And just like a newborn, I cry. I flail. Eyes scrunched shut, body slick with unnameable fluids, swatted on the butt by the universe, but still too dazed to recognize where I am or how to crawl back to wherever I came from.

Inside my head, it’s as if every letter of the alphabet had its own alphabet, and all of them are singing at once—from a googolplex of multiverses multiplying into quantum microverses, all breeding infinite strings of 00000s and 11111s, endlessly tangled with ellipses and etceteras.

On repeat.

With the volume all the way up.

And you’re broke.

And need to smoke a cigarette every 57 minutes.

Hi.

3/21/25

Coconuts and Crabs

Like Gilligan meets Moreau meets a Dangerous Game meets Home Malone meets the Karate Kid part 2 meets The Transformers Movie - the one where they said a curse word and it still makes me upset just thinking about it meets Lost (only the first 2 seasons) meets Robinson Crusoe meets Swiss Family Robinson meets Lost in Soace "Danger Will Robinson!” meets Fed-Ex Tom Hankasauras and Bilson Cast Away in that movie meets Hunger Games meets The Island of The Blue Dolphins meets all the Jurassic Park islands meets Kenny and Dolly’s Islands in The Stream meets Ewan McGregors Island chasus maximus meets Tarzan Lird of Greystoke meets Mowgli, Kaa, Rikki-Tikki-Tavi, etc. meets Goodall’s Gombe Flint, Frodo and Fifi meets Misfit Toys meets Richard Branson meets Ricardo Mantalban and Tattoo meets the Weezer Green album meets Rykers meets Alcatraz meets In-N-Out 1000 animal fries meets when I almost died in Kauai meets Darwin’s Galapagos lizardz meets my 8% Polynesian meets Jisas Yu Holem Hand Blong Mi Melanesian meets Costa Mesa Fashion meets the middle of your kitchen.

Okaybye.