How in the heck can I wash my neck...

I prayed to The Rain Gods to give more than the sporadic, half-arsed effort that they presented to us earlier today and thought that if I was a god, I'd want to be a Rain God because, I mean - who would really want to be an important god, you know? Like, one responsible for people's luck, salvation, punishment, revenge, and answering the pleas of perverts that swear that if they get away with this, they swear they'll never, ever do it again.

Dude, a Rain God only produces rain. That's it. And it's either a yes or no answer that you ponder over, and if you DO decide to answer a prayer and make it rain, you've only got ten options from that point on - you can make it rain on a Level One Intensity up to Level Ten.

That's it. If you're a Rain God, the rest of your days are spent drinking light beer and playing super Mario Brothers on the original Nintendo system. Word to that, brutha.