Let's Get It On...

As I write this, my girlfriend is puking...Welcome home, honey. Don't think that I'm an insensitive bastard - I already pulled her hair back in a ponytail, gave her water, took off her jewelry, and all of that stuff. I just peeked over. She looks pretty miserable, but that's what happens - doesn't it? Oh, you people crack me up. I know that I jump out of cars and crap when I'm drunk, I may write some nonsense on the computer - but, it takes a lot for me to kiss the butt seat. But, then I'm a wuss and only stick to the light beers and the ultra light cigarettes. This suits me just fine, Bubba.

At the bar, my gal and I were talking to a guy that I've served on my bartending shift. I always call him a cab. He put something in my hand as he got into his cab. Gee, thanks man. He gave me some cocaine. Uhhh...I smiled and waved. Looked at it. Yup, coke. Watched the cab leave and poured that stuff into the street. I guess I could have sold it, but I'd never sell that shite to a friend, so what's the point. Should I be touched? I'm so naive when it comes to that stuff. I never think that people that I'm mingling around with are doing drugs. Trust me, I'm no innocent - but, Damn, aren't we all getting a little older? This guy probably had kids too. I bet that he gives his kids shit for drinking too much soda.

Anyway, I poured it out on the street after he left. I feel sorry for all of the ants that OD'd because of me. I feel like a little kid when I find out that people are doing coke, heroin, and...organized religion.

I feel perfectly fine with my small vices. They suck. But they're damn cool right now, and the worse thing that I'll do is listen to this Marvin Gay song as my girlfriend expunges her Captain and diet cokes, Uh oh, shes not in the bathroom anymore....Okay, I just got her out of the bed and back to the toilet. Cough, Cough goes the gal, and I'm writing like a madman. I guess, maybe - I might be a little buzzed right now, because I'm going to tell you that I love you. Yeah, you, you sick bastard. Love my butt, please. And, also...love the two new books that I'm going to start writing that have to be done by Christmas. Yeah, you heard me. I said it. Christmas.

And my birthday's coming up on the 25th, and it's a toss between a potential yacht trip with my friend's landlord, Chuck E. Cheese and then a strip club, camping, or just sitting at home and getting kinda kee-razy. Decisions. Choices. Your momma's got a mouth on the back of her neck, and the bitch chews like this... ( demonstration ).

As I write this, my girlfriend is sleeping...