Thursday, May 22, 2003
Well I could have been a famous singer...
Hey little kitties. I got some bad news. I know you think, "Oh Kevynn, so your poo didn't flush down the toilet at work today. They won't know it's you. Blame the fat guy." But that's not the kind of bad news I got for you. I never talked about it before beeeecause I always thought monkeys would fix it somehow, or at least be trained to help me out when my sight failed me. Yeeeeah. I've been legally blind in one eye since I was 19, but it was always ok because I still had the other one! Ha ha life! Thanks for giving me two of everything, SUCKER! But I guess life heard me make fun of it and didn't like that I threw sand in its face at the playground. Baby. What a bunch of garbage it is that my other eye is going now, too. I used to sand down braile signs, and now I'm going to want to kick the little brats asses who do it. Honest, little chickens. That could have been chitlins, or chaplin, or LYSOL because it's so fucking hard for me to see. Seeeeeew. I want to keep PAINTING and reading SPIDEY comix and writing but it will eventually all turn into lysol or hubcaps when I really want to be telling you about how I think William Shatner is a big fat dump. Lysol and William Shatner are different. Believe it. So I think maybe I gets one of them micafones/programs that type what you say into the microphone? GAY. I don't know, friends. Your hero is failing, and at lightning speed. I'd say tune in next time, same milky time, same milky channel, but this episode is TO BE CONTINUED. Until I get some monkey eyes or super monkeys. Or cokebottle glasses. Or...DUN DUN DUN. To be continued...
Suckers. And the BEST part is, it's not even Kevynn the master of mischief who tricked you! It is I, Melly Mel! Ohhh man. You guys were just so TOTALLY DUPED! Psych! No one is blind! GAWD! Anyway...
The Kevvy asked me if I wanted to guest post and, hello, of course. Totally. I didn't want to be a super sappy baby and be all "Kevynn is the best ever. He is owed 3 monkeys. UNO!" Even though all of that is almost true. You decide.
Honestly though, I'm going to have to give some major props, luv, and XOXOs to Mr. Kevynn Malone. He is a favorite of mine, and I don't even do favorites. He's so goddamn nice, I don't know how anyone could ever have anything against him, ever. He's a darling friend, well rounded, generous and kind. You can't go wrong, honestly. He's full of 100% authentic awesome, and he shares us with it (almost) every day. From Christmas cards gone awry to playing with kids in parks and being cold shouldered for trying to help the tubby lady with her car, it's never dull. I know he feels like it sometimes, but truly it's all part of the Malone greatness. Whatever that means. But ok, honest. Kev, you're terriff, keep writing with your one good eye..haha kidding.. you're seriously top notch, kid.
"so I'm drinking, breathing, writing, singing
everyday I'm on the clock
my mind races with all my longings
but can't keep up with what I got..."