Batman V Superman Sucks.

Fritz Coleman versus Fred Rogan versus Dallas Raines versus Mega Shark versus Mac versus PC versus Professor X versus Magneto versus oil versus water versus me versus Salman Rushdie versus the Satanic Verses versus us versus The YouNIVERSE.

So It Goes...

"When I was 15, I spent a month working on an archeological dig. I was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kinds of “getting to know you” questions you ask young people: Do you play sports? What’s your favorite subject? And I told him, no I don’t play any sports. I do theater, I’m in choir, I play the violin and piano, I used to take art classes.

And he went WOW. That’s amazing! And I said, “Oh no, but I’m not any good at ANY of them.”

And he said something then that I will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: “I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.”

And that honestly changed my life. Because I went from a failure, someone who hadn’t been talented enough at anything to excel, to someone who did things because I enjoyed them. I had been raised in such an achievement-oriented environment, so inundated with the myth of Talent, that I thought it was only worth doing things if you could “Win” at them.”

- Kurt Vonnegut

World Book. WORDDDDD.

Wikipedia will never replace an Encyclopedia...except it has for better or worse (in terms of expediency).

I want to be the last, traveling Encyclopedia salesman in the contiguous United States. I will donate what little money that I make towards The Wandering Minstrels of the United Encyclopediac Wandering Minstrels of the United Fund. TWMOTUEWMOFTUF?

I don't even know if there are any encyclopedias even being printed any longer. The Encyclopedia Brittanica discontinued its print edition and is online only now.





Are we replacing the authority of the experts with the wisdom of the crowds?

Wikipedia is very useful, but anyone who cites it without diligently checking the source is lazy. That's why I make sure to print out Wikipedia every day.

I have a lot of paper in my house.

New business venture - Malonelopaedia Vietnamesia Irishica. All information consists of comic book-lore, Clancy Brother's lyrics, egg-roll recipes and regrets. Done.  A-Z. One Volume. $199.00 Dollars, in five monthly installed payments of $85.93 cents.


Recent studies have shown that Wikipedia is only .94% less accurate than Britannica. More troubling, it has zero worth anchoring an Ikea bookshelf...but not if you print it out.

When my Pops was a kid he had Comptons and would read them from beginning to end. I know what a Dung Beetle is because of Encyclopedia Britannica. I also miss the Sears catalog horribly.

One of my friends only had the encyclopedia up to the letter P and just found out out what a zebra was last week.

Also, random people can't update an actual encyclopedia with bullshit information. So, yeah.

No, Takashi...NO.

Hi!

Nahhhhhh......

“push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.

 push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable. lie in your garden, feel the sunshine on your skin. 

get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else. 

 stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.

 buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.

buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.

strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. wash, then hang them in the sunshine with care. make your bed in full. 

dig your fingers into the earth, plant a seed. see your success as it grows everyday. 

organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.

breathe. practice your deep breathing. ground yourself. 

 have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.

push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.

message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.

 think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything. 

become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. help an animal. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.

 lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. 

take small steps to make it happen for you...”

Hesse In Full Effect...

“For me, trees have always been the most penetrating preachers. I revere them when they live in tribes and families, in forests and groves. And even more I revere them when they stand alone. They are like lonely persons. Not like hermits who have stolen away out of some weakness, but like great, solitary men, like Beethoven and Nietzsche. In their highest boughs the world rustles, their roots rest in infinity; but they do not lose themselves there, they struggle with all the force of their lives for one thing only: to fulfil themselves according to their own laws, to build up their own form, to represent themselves. Nothing is holier, nothing is more exemplary than a beautiful, strong tree. When a tree is cut down and reveals its naked death-wound to the sun, one can read its whole history in the luminous, inscribed disk of its trunk: in the rings of its years, its scars, all the struggle, all the suffering, all the sickness, all the happiness and prosperity stand truly written, the narrow years and the luxurious years, the attacks withstood, the storms endured. And every young farmboy knows that the hardest and noblest wood has the narrowest rings, that high on the mountains and in continuing danger the most indestructible, the strongest, the ideal trees grow.

Trees are sanctuaries. Whoever knows how to speak to them, whoever knows how to listen to them, can learn the truth. They do not preach learning and precepts, they preach, undeterred by particulars, the ancient law of life.

A tree says: A kernel is hidden in me, a spark, a thought, I am life from eternal life. The attempt and the risk that the eternal mother took with me is unique, unique the form and veins of my skin, unique the smallest play of leaves in my branches and the smallest scar on my bark. I was made to form and reveal the eternal in my smallest special detail.

A tree says: My strength is trust. I know nothing about my fathers, I know nothing about the thousand children that every year spring out of me. I live out the secret of my seed to the very end, and I care for nothing else. I trust that God is in me. I trust that my labor is holy. Out of this trust I live.

When we are stricken and cannot bear our lives any longer, then a tree has something to say to us: Be still! Be still! Look at me! Life is not easy, life is not difficult. Those are childish thoughts. Let God speak within you, and your thoughts will grow silent. You are anxious because your path leads away from mother and home. But every step and every day lead you back again to the mother. Home is neither here nor there. Home is within you, or home is nowhere at all.

A longing to wander tears my heart when I hear trees rustling in the wind at evening. If one listens to them silently for a long time, this longing reveals its kernel, its meaning. It is not so much a matter of escaping from one's suffering, though it may seem to be so. It is a longing for home, for a memory of the mother, for new metaphors for life. It leads home. Every path leads homeward, every step is birth, every step is death, every grave is mother.

So the tree rustles in the evening, when we stand uneasy before our own childish thoughts: Trees have long thoughts, long-breathing and restful, just as they have longer lives than ours. They are wiser than we are, as long as we do not listen to them. But when we have learned how to listen to trees, then the brevity and the quickness and the childlike hastiness of our thoughts achieve an incomparable joy. Whoever has learned how to listen to trees no longer wants to be a tree. He wants to be nothing except what he is. That is home. That is happiness.” 

― Hermann Hesse, Bäume. Betrachtungen und Gedichte

picklehead.com

Alternate Histories...

“In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same, but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood...

For every human being who looks up at the moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever mankind.”

“Others will follow, and surely find their way home. Man's search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they will remain the foremost in our hearts."

 

ideadump2

If Superman was there to protect the planet but human flesh gave him his powers instead.of our sun.

Sad Angostura or Happy Angostura With a Mustache

Beautiful Inside and Trashy Outside......

Bat Free Milk

this will replace THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID...

SPACE ALIENS is my new answer to every question from now on.

From NOW ON.

This makes no sense and is not funny. 

Typing my Fat Free Milk posts via phone is seeming to be a bad idea.

idea dump1

Karate V Kung Fu

A son or daughter?

Or name? 

Two sisters?

Kara Tay and Kimfu?

Ugh. Dumb.

Hi.

Just saw an old buddy of 20 years. I was passing out new business cards with my name and Don Knotts' face on it  tonight at my friend's bar and he's celebrating his wedding with family. 

But......DON KNOTTS.

On my business card.

DON KNOTTS.

WAKE UP.

These dreams are so sad.

I'm Alive!

Thank you for sticking around, nerds!!! Stay tuned!