Thursday, February 19, 2015


Keep it short.
Pee during commercial breaks.
Go!
Hurry up.
Reeelaaaxxxx......
Drive-Thru.
Enter password.
There's going to be a twenty minute wait.
I'm sorry, we're all booked up.
SOLD.
Reserve not met.
Breathe.
Limited space for ACME YOGA.
We're sorry, due to low attendance - ACME YOGA's session has been cancelled.
Gas is cheap.
Food is expensive.
I have cancer.
Fireball shots for everyone!
Lost dog.
Please spay and neuter your pets.
Please be kind, rewind.
I don't live in the past.
What do I have to look forward to, said the donkey?
A carrot, said the master.
Bees are dying.
Honey will be expensive.
People are dying.
Honey will be expensive.

It's 6:00 A.M. as I time this.

Type is precious.
 

Saturday, February 14, 2015


The other day I received numerous texts and Facebook messages on my phone. Apparently, there was a guy running around town dressed up as Spider-Man.

My friends assumed it was me.

C'mon, guys...

BATMAN.

I'm BATMAN.

DUH.

Friday, February 06, 2015

Hillians and Veros......


Dr. Octopus
not a hugger

The Joker
introverted

Doctor Doom
vain

Braniac
dumb

Flash
stoner

Batman
needs to focus

and I will finish this later.....




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If I was a politician, I would lie to you. If I was a scientist, I would show you the facts. If I was a cop, I would write you not poems but tickets. If I was an artist, I would define lines. If you were Jesus, I'd ask you for a prayer. If you were Buddha, I'd ask for enlightenment. If you were a fireman, I'd ask you to please, please help me extinguish this fire.


Friday, January 30, 2015

YOU


EWE
YOO
EHYEW
U
EIW
YEU
EUY
YEWH
eHUGH
EHUHw
EHeeew
YOOeew
Ueewww
iyoo

BE WELL.



Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Dear Samantha, this year didn't start off as well as I expected but I'm going to take it and turn it all around and think about it as a positive experience and not a negative one. No details needed but...the overall lesson is for all of planet Earth to not be a Dick York about small things and if you catch yourself being a Dick Sargent about small things then...STOP BEING A DARRIN STEPHENS. Because that's a big thing.

This applies to all of us mere mortals.

Metric- Gimme Sympathy lyrics

Sunday, January 04, 2015

You ask me to play more classical music...

I say to go through my records and pick something that you've never heard before.

WU-TANG?

Well played, Grasshopper.

Well played.