He'd Kick Rita's Ass...

The father lives kind of close to the path of The United States' latest hurricane. It's kind of funny when the only reason for people to start to talk about THE PLANET is when THE PLANET decides to grab us by the nuts and then head-butt us in them.

A head-butt in the nuts is harsh. This is a very powerful thing, to be head-butted in the nuts by THE PLANET. Imagine the OUCH that follows after something like that.

Anyway...I wrote for an hour or two tonight already on other stuff, so this is what you get - the dregs. I've already had to re-spell everything in this and I think that there are things that I've missed.

I don't even know what I'm talking about. You don't either - so we're square.

Is it fair that you don't get quality love-making tonight?

Because I've already spread my seed in other places?

Yes, bitch. Yes.

Now fix me a turkey pot pie.

P.S. Kick Rita's ass, Pops.

was getting very Thom Yorke and Jack Handy

thinking this
thinking that
mentally treading water
my head bending
and my heart squeezing

tonight, I forgot to notice the world turning

looked out of the window
and saw how red the sky was
I got up out of my seat
and noticed a rainbow
a half circle of clear colors against anger

I searched for my camera
the phone rang
the cat skittered around my feet
I almost gave up

I made it outside
stood in my front yard as cars streamed by
looking up
kids and mothers came out also

now the rainbows gone
and I think that the old man sitting inside before is gone too
he'll be back again
I know it's inevitable

but next time that he does show up
maybe it won't take a brilliant rainbow
to illuminate my haze

thinking this
thinking that
mentally treading water
my head bending
and my heart squeezing

...

thought that the boss was coming in so I clicked out of the post that I was writing. I was done with it too. Now it's gone. It was bloody too.

My Gigli...

Am I that desperate or either that LAZY for dialogue for the play that I'm writing that's due in March that I was interested in watching Jersey Girl to copy the flow of WHAT EXACTLY?

Clever pitter-patter?

Verbose blargh?

Poo diatribe?

God. Shoot me. The best bits of me today have been scatterred like Skittles across the minutes of this weird mess of a day. I mean, I couldn't even communicate properly w/ the girlfriend at the supermarket. I grunted and pushed the cart around.

Maybe that's it. Maybe REAL writers DON'T go to the supermarket AND DON't have the TV on like I do right now. Maybe REAL WRITERS don't write on blogs named after the first thing that one saw in the fridge. Maybe the fact that Ben Affleck's voice is a sneeze's spray away from me - is the reason why I don't deserve to write more tonight.

One does not receive the keys to the kingdom when one writes a sentence about keys to the kingdom. Tell me that you just didn't look at the TV screen again, man.

Say it's over, man...

Say it.

Okay...IT.

Found This While Looking Through Old Word Documents ( The "Kevin" Is Kevin Smith ) I Need To Look Through The Computer More...

Crap. I'm sorry. I've never done that before. I must have switched it with the other package that I sent to a different customer. If you could send me back the package I will fully compensate you. I can even send you the money via paypal before hand for the shipping>? This has never happened to me beforeplease let me know what is the most comfortable option for you. Thanks. Kev


BATMAN #638 VF/NM Red Hood is JASON TODD! Robin Joker

Batman #638 -
Jason Todd Revealed as the Red Hood!
Written by Judd Winick & Drawn by Doug Mahnke
1 Issue Total (Average Condition: Unread VF/NM)

You are bidding on the Red-Hot SOLD OUT Batman #638, which features the shocking revelation that the Red Hood is Jason Todd! Condition is Unread VF/NM condition.

You Get The Following Issues:
* Batman #638

Shipping is $4.50 (Secure packaging, Priority Mail) for mainland United States.
(Canada and outside USA please inquire before bidding)
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I accept money orders, checks (7-10 days to clear), and Paypal.
(Confirmed Addresses Only)
Do not bid if you do not intend to buy!!
Payment is due in 10 days. Any questions, feel free to email.


Simon: Oh, all that crap. 'Are you an angel?' Don't make me sick. Also, one thing as a kid I loved and I really appreciated it as a kid was that Star Wars had nothing to do with my life, nothing to do with my planet. Everything was completely alien. Even the cantina music, even though it was jazz, sounded kinda alien. And in the new ones, he's got American football droids on the TV and sportscasters droids and that awful line, 'hey, you wanna buy a deathstick?' Well, it's a fag, isn't it? Course it is. Don't link it to my world!

Kevin: Well, at least he's brought fags into space, finally. First he brought blacks, and then he's bringing gays. It'll be a much better universe.

...................

Girlfriend’s mad at me now because when she was on the phone arguing with her mom I threw a bag of old baseball park style peanuts that you can pick up for free at the weekly downtown farmers market.

So, she was yapping at her mother and I jumped into the room and yelled, PEANUTS!!! And meant to chuck them at her chest but they smacked her in the lip. So now she’s really fucking pissed at me. PEANUTS!!! I rock. Maybe I’ll get a job at Angel Stadium after she breaks up with me. (did I ever post this? Because, fuck - it made me laugh.)

THIS WAS LABELED UNDER "BATMAN" I felt like I found a cold beer snuggled way back in the back of the fridge.

Do I...

really want to talk about Werewolves?

Tri Ta Eata Pi...

It's sorority rush down the street again.
I've been hearing them clip and clop down the street in their heels.
Giggling. Parking their shiny compact cars.
And now screaming and clapping undecipherable white girl voodoo-type chants.

Today, for about five minutes, I entertained the idea of streaking naked by them while they were doing one of their noisy front yard activities.

I was THIS close away from calling a friend to have him wait for me down the street.

But...I obviously didn't go through with it because...I'm not writing this from jail.

Molly Malone, General Viet Or Fat Free Milk?

For whom do I blame for the madness that runs through my veins?

The Irish?

The Vietnamese?

Or Myself?

Jamal Just Said To Me...

that I should get a tattoo of a Spider Man suit on my chest. Now shouldn't Peter Parker do this? But to his whole body? All he'd have to do is to keep the mask in his back pocket and then he'd be set. He would never need to wear socks, either.

Payment Summary...



Sometimes you catch yourself being yourself - and you don't understand how you managed to grow up and become a dick. You start to tap your finger against your temples and then stop when brain starts to ooze out.

I feel like a million bombs reproduced at the rate of cockroaches and had an orgy in my gut and have now exploded. All that's left now - are regrets, memories and my two pointy fingers.

This is how I'm typing the drivel that you're reading now. But I'm leaving red blood marks on the keyboard letters.

I don't know why and when I became a wandering Frankenstein. Ask the Doctor. Ask the millions of innocent, little girls with snapped necks that I've left behind in my travels.

I am not a nice man.

I am not a nice monster.

I am not ANYTHING.

urgh