Kyle Was Right...

Fish and chips at the old pub was a lot better than eating with the blue-haired ladies at Carrows. True, true.

So Sweet...

You save our honey bees and I'll spend my time building natural sized cells, and virtually eliminating my Varroa and Tracheal mite problems.

He who tries to forget a woman, never loved her...

Which one are you?

The one I miss now?

Or the one I loved before?

Ear Noises...

Choosing not to write is sometimes the best way to express your feelings.

Hey Kid...

One day you'll grow up.

One day you'll have an important moment of clarity that spirals through your brain and explodes outward through your heart.

The newly-found, diamond-like focus that suddenly envelops your eyes will cause them to well up with tears because what you've just learned is so, so beautiful...

You grew up...

You finally get it.

And now you're too old to do anything about, kid.

Yom Thorke....

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana...

Raoul Duke: There's a uh, big machine in the sky, some kind of, I dunno, electric snake, coming straight at us.

Dr. Gonzo: Shoot it.

Raoul Duke: Not yet, I want to study its habits.



Yesterday's Hippies call other people "Hippies" now.

Think about this...REALLY.

bis vincit qui se vincit in victoria

He conquers twice who conquers himself in victory

im the guy

right now

writing about things to write

my soul is the Earth’s sun 8 million years from now

and my heart is chum, constantly thrown into oceans

jotting down ideas

and always writing about writing

and my writing

always takes a lot of rewriting

i’m so tired

and so ready

to cultivate the paddy fields of your mind

mine your ore

and excavate your precious resources

i am big business

when not writing about not writing

you’ll never see my greatest moments

and if you do?

then I’ll see it first

because,

im the guy

right now

writing

trying

People Like Me?

Need to make money off their ideas or they're just wasted.

A Prayer For Owen Nicey...

Yesterday, a spider rappelled down it's own thread right in front of my face at the bar. With my luck or my usual absence of, it figures that I came close to being bitten by a spider that was not irradiated with potential Arachnid-like powers but with venomy drunkeness instead (oh wait, I might already have that...)

Also, later that night, while editing my Great American Novel from the back patio, I picked up a penny from the ground and a tiny spider about the size of a red pepper flake scurried away beneath it.

And then this morning, I peed Tarantulas.

15N + 249Cf → 261105Db + 4 1n and 16N + 249Bk → 261105Db + 4 1n

I might just be hopeless enough to self publish bits and pieces of the thousands of pages of the written things in my garage, in notebooks and on the hard drives of various computers now.

To justify my existence
and to help ease you
into REM sleep.

I feel ill...

SPRINGFIELD, Massachusetts (AP) -- It was a ginormous year for the wordsmiths at Merriam-Webster.

Along with embracing the adjective that combines "gigantic" and "enormous," the dictionary publishers also got into Bollywood, sudoku and speed dating.

But their interest in India's motion-picture industry, number puzzles and trendy ways to meet people was all meant for a higher cause: updating the company's collegiate dictionary, which goes on sale this fall with about 100 newly added words.

As always, the yearly list gives meaning to the latest lingo in pop culture, technology and current events.

There's "crunk," a style of Southern rap music; the abbreviated "DVR," for digital video recorder; and "IED," shorthand for the improvised explosive devices that have become common in the war in Iraq.

If it sounds as though Merriam-Webster is dropping its buttoned-down image with too much talk of "smackdowns" (contests in entertainment wrestling) and "telenovelas" (Latin-American soap operas), consider it also is adding "gray literature" (hard-to-get written material) and "microgreen" (a shoot of a standard salad plant.)

No matter how odd some of the words might seem, the dictionary editors say each has the promise of sticking around in the American vocabulary.

"There will be linguistic conservatives who will turn their nose up at a word like `ginormous,"' said John Morse, Merriam-Webster's president. "But it's become a part of our language. It's used by professional writers in mainstream publications. It clearly has staying power."

One of those naysayers is Allan Metcalf, a professor of English at MacMurray College in Jacksonville, Illinois, and the executive secretary of the American Dialect Society.

"A new word that stands out and is ostentatious is going to sink like a lead balloon," he said. "It might enjoy a fringe existence."

But Merriam-Webster traces ginormous back to 1948, when it appeared in a British dictionary of military slang. And in the past several years, its use has become, well, ginormous.

Visitors to the Springfield-based dictionary publisher's Web site picked "ginormous" as their favorite word that's not in the dictionary in 2005, and Merriam-Webster editors have spotted it in countless newspaper and magazine articles since 2000.

That's essentially the criteria for making it into the collegiate dictionary -- if a word shows up often enough in mainstream writing, the editors consider defining it.

But as editor Jim Lowe puts it: "Nobody has to use `ginormous' if they don't want to."

For the record, he doesn't.

Gepeto Had It Right...

To create a boy that could feel, but was devoid of physical commitments.

To be human, but with none of the obligatory toothaches.

Spot on, yet - aren't TERMITES the Pinocchiolian equivalent of cancer?

Timber versus flesh.

Both inevitably lose in the rotting end.

Dear Blogger...

I liked you better when you were single.

Love, Fat Free Milk

Andtheworldjustseemstogoabitquickerwhenyourmindslowsabit

I stopped reading a story about what came before the Big Bang and was amazed that I had never thought about it before.

Then, my quest for knowledge intersected with my small brain’s conceptual and theoretical capabilities and imploded, funnel-like.

And that’s why I’m writing this now instead.

My cosmic roadblocks are now dividing further and folding into infinitesimal zeros…

Red Hot Riding Hood...

There Are coyotes howling in my front yard.

DO NOT WALK THE DOG, KEVYNN.

I went out front and whistled because I don't ever know what to do when the Kindred come calling.

This is tonight's reverse Tex Avery scenario.



My trashcans are the sexy singer on stage.

And yes, it's a full moon tonight.

Seriously.

Walter Mitty Meets Mr. Limpet Meets Tyler Durden Meets Hemingway's Favorite Shotgun...

I think I'm fine, I always have been to a certain point.

I'm a bit like Casper The Friendly Ghost, just not as cute and a lot more angst-ridden about my existence in life.

A bit like Bukowski, but not as talented and pock-marked.

One percent Kerouac, but not in love with my mother.

A tiny bit Ginsberg, but not as gay.

Burroughs without the drugs.

Scott Card without the religion and cosmic blueprints.

Vonnegut without the Vonnegut.

My father without the discipline.

Richard Bachman without the Stephen King.

My girlfriend without the Buddha-like precision.

Me without the mirror.

I am exactly the same as I always have been.

Really.

I am everything that I've always known.

As as my years trail by like comets -

My heart says
that
in this universe
at least
in MINE

that this is still

a good thing.

The Summer of 2007' - Day 1

Dear Diary of Earth 2 and the Marvel Universe 616,

It's getting warmer. The dog is panting, beers sweat and my sleep is more sporadic than usual.

I caught up on all of my For Better Or For Worse today.

I've been pecking away on my play.

I've rewritten it about ten times.

It's an actors dream and my nightmare. You know how in Sci-Fi and comic books there are Multi-and alternate universes that co-exist and entwine with our own?

This is what writing stories is like sometimes.

Sometimes, in one of my own Multi-verses, I finish everything that I start and don't have a narcoleptic attention span.

Milk Free Fat

I'm done and done with working
I'm done and done with thinking
I'm done and done with peeking at
all of the dreams I'm envisioning

I'm done with dumb
and think I'll plumb
the darknesses
that my bright days have become

I'm down with words
and floundering, for sure
Life is creatively frustrating
My heart and brain is like a crack whore
and so you just shut up
and don't get in my way
I'll carve you up
my mind can kick your mind's ass

the end

Kafka Has A Posse...

I'm finding it very hard to write or to get motivated for much recently.

I sleep a lot.

I never used to sleep.

Phone Call (Seattle Bar noise in the background)

Ian - Hey, buddy - gotta Star Wars question for you.

Self - Ha ha, sure - what's up?

Ian - What're the Sand People called from Star Wars?

Self - Tusken Raiders.

Ian - Awesome, and what are the things that they ride called?

Self - Banthas.

Ian - Sweet. Thanks, man.

Self - Will it help you get lucky?

Ian - Ha ha...maybe.

No cigars, no drug use - just a lack of parental guidance and copius amounts of freetime...

I was talking to myself today and asked myself, "Self? What was the first thing that you did growing up, knowing that you'd paved a path for potential blackmail, thus, destroying any chance of you ever becoming President?"

I answered, "Ummm...probably humping bedposts, self."

Fat Free Milk