this is my primary blog. blog, meaning-not a novel.
i am too lazy to eat.
i need to remind myself to make that file with all of my compounded brain activity.
hey, put on some music, too - you boo radley.
might as well.
while you're wasting time.
(why doesn't my archive work??????)
Help??????
So I wake up this morning, right? Well, I'd have to be right because I'M FUCKING LEAVING A COMMENT. Anyway, I woke up and I smell Friend's Couch Smell and Beef and Broccoli. I look at the coffee table thinking that the white plastic bag on it was Panda Express. Wrong, it was Smirnoff. I was about as disappointed as I would be getting kneed in the balls on the first date. So I sat up and moved some stuff around and the smell went away and I briefly thought about how I could've possibly just made a smell up because I wanted it to be there. Then I thought about how I wish that would work in all aspects of life. Then I thought about how sad it was that I was dreaming of Beef and Broccoli and not naked chicks or being Indiana Jones.
ReplyDeleteSo I put my wallet in my pocket, and my cell phone, and my papers and my change and I lift up the coffee table to grab my shoes and there...beside them is a bag of Panda Express.
Strangely enough, beef and broccoli.
Now, I DIDN'T BUY PANDA EXPRESS KEVYNN. I just didn't, I remember when I buy meats covered in sauces. And I DEFINATELY remember buying tiny plants.
Where'd the food come from? Even more confusing, could the bag and the container and the fork and the duck sauce have materialized from my intense desire to consume Beef and Broccoli?
Maybe I pulled it out of my dream like Wonkavision. Except for that analogy to work I would have had to be dreaming of a behemoth pile of Beef and Broccoli and then would have had to pull the Beef and Broccoli out of me somehow.
Is it possible that I unintentionally manifested low-grade Chinese food inside me in some freak universal worm-hole vortex thing and pulled it into reality from my urethra?
That just brings up a whole new level of birth metaphors and string theory that I don't even want to think about.
What's up Malone, here's to '07.
Buddha. Veruca Salt. Tony Stark. Tanis. Stan Winston. Professor Broom. Bees.
ReplyDeleteAll of them know your answers.
Buddha Bees.
ReplyDeleteThat would be a great band name.
my archives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete