Does anybody know how to view what programs you have running on your computer at start up or whenever and then how to turn some of them off? I think that I used to remember how to get there before - but have now forgotten. My computer has been progressively running slower and slower as time has eked on. Combine the sluggishness of my computer with my inabilty to focus on anything for more than five minutes and you get an ABSOLUTE ZERO GOOGLEPLEX of everything and nothing. I have a PC and use XP. Thank you. TLA...

Yoda Was Smart To Stay On Dagobah...

"What the hell is she doing?" Kevynn asked. Taking another drag from his cigarette.

Dee squinted through the rain at the girl across the street. A white car had its emergency lights on and was parked off to the side of the busy street. The girl was pacing back and forth and mouthing into a cel phone.

"I don't know...maybe she's in trouble." Dee whispered.

I'M TOO LAZY TO GO ON AND TYPE THIS LIKE THIS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING ANYWAY, BECAUSE ITS A SUCKY IDEA...

So. We were in front of the house having a drink and waiting for Cartoon Pig and his girl to come over. We were going to grab some late-night appetizers and drinks at whatever place would still be doing dinner at 11pm.

I ran over to the girl in the rain and asked her if she needed help. She had hit a dog and was crying hysterically. I live across the street from a park, which is nice. There can sometimes be a lot of traffic, though - which is not. People need to slow the fuck down. This means YOU. Be good. Pay attention whilst driving. Put down your stupid-ass cel phone. Be careful.

I ran back to the house and grabbed some plastic bags, a blanket and a flashlight and then walked out into the street. I picked up the dog. He was tiny. Cute. Like a black and white-colored chihuahua mix, I think. Breath expunged from its mouth. I hoped that this was a good thing and not because of the last remnants of oxygen in its lungs. I placed the dog under a tree and checked it for injuries. The eyes looked like they were opening and I thought that I heard a couple of faint noises or whimpers as I talked to the now-apparent girl dog.

My girlfriend started crying.

The other girl started crying.

Time passed as we gave the girl support and condolences. As we were waiting for Animal Control to show up – we heard a crash from down the street. It was one of those dull, metallic, empty thuds that means a car accident.

Dee suggested that maybe I go down the street to check it out. I thought that it was farther down the street and I wanted to keep on petting the-now-I-thought-dead dog.

After the nice lady from Animal Control came and after we gave hugs to the crying girl who hit the dog and after we had warmed up and after Cartoon Pig and his girl came – we drove down the street to go eat. About a three minute jog where I had been standing shivering with my dead dog friend was one overturned SUV and two smashed cars. Glass everywhere. I didn’t look for bodybags. It started to rain harder.

Then I had a 10 oz. Filet mignon with Bleu Cheese and gravy, mashed potatoes, veggies, garlic bread, a Coke and six beers.

And then I went home.