Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Mr. Cogswell, Mr. Tate, and Mr. Slate...

Never let your boss see the inside of your home. They will either think that you're a child, insane, a slob, or make too much money. No boss will ever take pity on you and give you a raise after seeing your slum.

The only reason why you should invite your boss inside is if they're of the opposite sex, very attractive, have no vocal cords and like paying off employees not to squeal like the blackmailing piggies that they are.

I did work for an attractive lady once. We were very close. It was hard working for somebody and trying not to look at their boobs. Some of you might have this problem too, even if your boss is a man. This is even worse. Men like this usually sweat a lot and breathe heavy. They usually have a five-o-clock shadow by noon and always have food on their shirt or face. These are the type of men that drop farts like atom bombs and yell at the FUCKING YANKEES almost as much as they do their wife and children.

Okay. I got a little off track. I need a cigarette and I need to take a nap. I just realized that I've never seen one episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. It's over now. I wonder if I was missing something. Sarah Michelle Gellar's nose looks like she's been punched by a vampire one-too-many times. Like I should talk. Go Daphne. Go FUCKING RED SOX. Go to sleep, self.

No comments: