I am Jane Goodall's Tanzanian monkeys typing about bananas. My fingers are Santa's little helpers. My hope is a sporadic rainfall - yet a torrential downpour in all creative environments. I am Theseus, unspooling golden yarn. Sisyphus, sweating uphill. Bukowski, scribbling away in rooming houses. A river always flowing. I am the nightmare of stagnancy and a God of Imagination.
Friday, June 25, 2004
Birds fly up
And down spinnin' round
Flyin' all around
From my window
A little brown sparrow came
Flutterin' down
Le moineau est venu
Se poser ma fenjtre
I took the day off to first, just spend time with the girl. She ended up picking up a shift at work. I thought that I would call the plumber. There’s a nasty smell that’s been emanating from underneath the house. I woke up too late. I whined like a baby. Tossed, turned, and woke up goggy-poo-like. Went to the post office to take my passport photo. Waited forever. Their camera was fucked up. Took it again. Didn’t work. Went down the street to a place, took my pic, had to do it again because I blinked, went back to the post office, and finally got It all done. Went to the mall. Haven’t been there in, at least six months. My girlfriend had to return some things. I bought a shirt, two pairs of sandals, and a floppy summer hat for her. Then I went to a GAMING-type store that dealt with poker, darts and all of that shite. I was looking for poker chips and for felt. No luck. Went to the 99 cent store. Was not happy about this. These places depress me. Right when I walked in, I saw a pretty little girl of about ten years step out of the dressing room. Her mother was yelling loudly at her. YEAH? WHAT? TURN AROUND! LOOKS GOOD! This reminded me of growing up with my father. This reminded me of growing up poor. This reminded me of wanting people to shut up and to not talk so loudly. I grew up wanting to kill people and to not be noticed. I grew up wanting peace and…peace, I guess. I tried not to look at the girl because I knew that she didn’t want anybody to look at her. I just knew. She wasn’t ashamed. You don’t get many schoolmates at the 99-cent store. But…still… PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN said The Wizard Of Oz.
I guess it’s my birthday right now. I was born on 3:42 in 1975, somewhere in NORTHERN California. I was 21 inches long and weighed 9- something pounds. My left eye was blue and my right was brown. One after my mum and pa. Now they’re all fucked up. One is light brown and one is dark brown. At times it makes me look like I have a lazy eye or that I look like the old Asian guy that sold Billy Gizmo in Gremlins.
I went to a bar tonight. Short visit. I didn’t even want to go, but it was my girlfriends idea. She caught me lying in a fetal position in bed right before we were leaving. She asked me if I was depressed. I said no. I thought that it was kind of funny. I was only lying in bed because I was bored and that I thought that everybody was lagging so I might as well lay down for a couple of minutes.
Tomorrow I work from 10 to 10. After that my friend from Damnation is playing at an obnoxious bar. Ob Saturday is a huge party at my house that I just might recover from. On Saturday, we’ll bothe be in San Diego fro Krista’s wedding. On Monday, I’ll be at The Museum Of Man, and then might go visit Tommy or Heather…
Then I’ll go home.
Birthdays meant absolutely nothing. But, It does give you the opportunity to do things that you usually tell yourself that you’re too busy to do.
I am hungry.
Tired.
Restless.
Listening to Neil Diamond.
Now Bishop Allen.
Going to go smoke.
Aware of the time.
Thanking you for yours.
Because in the long run
All of this doesn’t mean a thing.
365 daze of fog.
365 days of daze.
365 days of unimportant numbers.
Think seasons.
Think pink.
Think this sentence out loud.
Thank The Gods.
Thank you
And
GOOD NIGHT.
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