Big-Headed Monster...

I'm spoiled. I don't have to get up as early as I'm used to for my current job. I sleep in on weekends now. I must be getting old because I like to watch Saturday and Sunday morning cartoons, but I just can't do it no mo'. This morning I slept away, whined at my productive girlfriend's noise level, and then finally moved all of the covers from the bed to the couch. She was watching some horrible Charlie Sheen movie. Like there's only one, right? Then she left and I watched The Majestic. I didn't expect to like it, and wasn't going to watch it - but I was too lazy to get up. I actually kind of liked it. Then I started to watch an Ashley Judd movie, but grew tired of trying to figure out if she was hot or not. I wrestled various human food products away from our fat ass cat. Talked on the phone. I dried my girlfriend’s laundry for her while she was at work and realized that I was daydreaming in the backyard with a handful of her panties in my hand. I took out six bags of trash. Six. I don't know where it comes from, but I swear, we seem to accumulate more waste than your mom. I read some of my Chuck Palahniuk book and performed a movement in the bathroom Beethoven would've been proud of. I returned some phone calls, but still managed somehow to not call any of family. I'm bad; it takes me weeks to get back to them.

So when I called back Joe, he asked if I could do him a favor.

I just bought a TV off of someone from work. Do you think you could keep it for me for a while?

Two hours later, during the NBA All-Star game, Joe and Chris came over with it. It's thirty-six inches and now in my living room. After I hooked it up, I screamed because I saw a commercial with John Madden in it and his unusually gigantic head was now even bigger. I started to cry, but then Joe told me that his co-worker also asked if he wanted any free beer. I shut up. Then we ordered a pizza and watched an HBO special on cannibalism.

Hmmmm...do you mind if I use up your space with a big TV, give you forty beers, and buy some pizza? Remind me never to complain about anything.

To quote Ice Cube - Today Was A Good Day...