Who Changes Baby New Years Diapers?...
This year I managed not to get mauled by a pack of wild dogs. That's good.
I rarely kicked anyone in the crotch.
I managed to infuse my body with just about as much booze as oxygen.
I fought balding for another year.
I lost weight. Now I weigh 135 instead of 136.
I read things other than porn.
I stopped visiting your mom.
She says to write her, by the way. And to send money.
Happy New Year, you bastards!
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