Never Sing Yellow Submarine

It incites violence.

I had to cocktail. It sucked. I hate doing that and usually don't have to. I haven't in a long time. I don't care about what my customers eat, let alone what type of cocktail they want to ingest after midnight. I've grown up and don't hate the general populace like I once did, but still like to avoid speaking with people that I normally wouldn't want to speak with. I got fuckered not suckered into the deal because the usual late-night bartender that we have on Saturday night-his wife just had a baby. So that meant I was the Obi-Wan of their Princess Leia plea, and they needed me to cocktail. I was their only hope. Fuckers. Like I said, I hate it. I'm the guy drinking-not serving the damn things. Anyway. Long dinner rush. Long and boring cocktail rush. The stupid World Series game was on earlier and it was pretty dead. Ten or so of my friends made it worse by filtering in and setting up a big table. I knew it would happen. I probably made the most money that I did off of them so I should be grateful-but I'm not. I'd burn the extra money I made if it meant that I didn't have to be there busy while they were in " Happy-World " and I was in " Concerned-About-Obligatory-Shit-I-Hate-To-Be-Concerned-With-Shit " Eventually time started to do its job and pass. I sang the last song of karaoke for the night. I spent some time passing out everybody's final bills and happened to turn my head and see a tall guy in a white shirt headbutt a guy. Uh. Wow. I remember Dawne yelling at me from across the room that there was a fight and before I knew it I was across the room and leapt up on table full of drinks and put myself in between them. I don't even remember what I said. I remember trying to push the white shirt and his buddy out of the place. White shirt guy was English and kicked the guy. Anyway...blood is really bright, isn't it? I've noticed that before. I don't know what the deal was-and I didn't care. I just wanted to get my girlfriend and my slave wages home. The cops came. Good. We closed. Dawne and Chris stayed after hours. We had a couple of drinks. That's it. Cool thing though. Some lady who is always at my work and talks too much told Chris that I was like Fonzie jumping up on the table not spilling a drink and helping with the fight. I like the Fonzie thing. And some other guy mentioned a "Shaolin" grace. I can dig the Wu-Tang style...

I'm glad it's over with...
I will never do it again.

AND---

Next time they ask me?...

What do you say, Kevynn Malone?