Saturday, April 08, 2017

My 30-Year Old Self Interviewed My 40-Year Old Self...DRAFT

My 30-Year Old Self Interviewied My 40-Year Old Self...DRAFT

Describe the 40 year old's house from the 30 years old's perspective. Like he's a legit interviewer. Describe the set up for the interview. And the room and the house that the interview is taking place in. Describe some of the 40 year old's mannerisms, etc.

30 - Before we start - I've got to say...I'm a HUGE fan.

40 - What? Seriously? That's kind of dumb. You...WE used to interview bands a little bit back in the day. That's what you say as an introduction? I - WE hate that shit! What's wrong with you? You okay, dude? And I'm looking at you too, dude You look fucking skinny, man. You look like I would if I did drugs. But you don't, I know. You need health insurance too and dental insurance. Seriously. Get that shit.

30 - You look...well. Ummm. Wait. What? Seriously. I mean - I am. I'm doing it, you know - I've just gotta -

40 - Nah. No, you're not.

30 - So. Uhmmm. So......you're not married, huh? And no kids? Dude. what happened?

40 - Nothing.

30 - I know, but - you know, I just kinda thought by now that -

40 - Nope. You and D broke up when you were 32. Sorry, buddy. Then came C and then came M and then came L and then came R and then came another M. Some were tiny dating relationships and don't really count. You have this to look forward to in the next ten years, dude. But it's good. It wasn't bad. Obviously there were some pretty heart-heavy and emotionally, fucking, heavy months and years but - it's okay. You will learn a shitload of stuff, my friend.

30 - Holy crap.

40 - Yeah...

30 - But what happened?

40 - Nothing, really. It's just people, man. Like I said - you'll learn a lot.

30 - Who was your - our favorite? Like, who did you -

40 - Dude. Seriously. Ask me something else.

30 - Okay. Sure. Ummm...Soooooo....I don't know what to say now.

40 - DUMB.

30 - Dude, that's not cool.

40 - Sorry. I'm not trying to be a dick. I love you. DUH. I really do. I'm just super tired and I get bored easily. ADHD, madness, compassion and I'm trying to bail out water in this tiny, yet tough boat that I'm in. I've got enough shit on my plate, man. Like, I'm sitting here -SUPER FUCKING TIRED. Like, I feel like I'm dying. Like I'm fucking dead. I'm dead when I'm awake. I'm a kid. I'm a zombie. I'm stupid. I'm wicked smaht, though. WICKED SMAHT.

30 - That sounds dumb.

40 - Yeah, dude. I'm sorry. Seriously. You've got a lot ahead of you.

30 - No. That sounds dumb what you said.

40 - What?

30 - I don't think that you've grown up that much, man - this is just what I'm saying. you like to talk. WE -I like to talk, yeah - for sure, but - DUDE. You sound just like me right now but just filled with more bullshit. you're not giving me that much hope. I mean, you're totally -

40 - Seriously? Awww...fuck yourself then. Go write some poetry, go...GO FUC

41 - HELLOOOOOO??????

30 - Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

41 - HEY!

30 - ( Slepp murmuring) I THOUGHT THEY SMELLED BAD..On..THE INSIDES...

41 - WAKE UP!!!

30 - DUDE. This is bumming me out.

41 - I fucking hate you. I hate this...wait...how can I hate THIS? Like...THIS? DUDE. I don't really hate YOU.

30 - Yeah. You hate you. Stupid hater-guy-future-jerk.

41 - ............

30 - Every time that you write a period in an elipsis an angel gets cancer in their hollow, brittle bird bones.

41 - ......

41 - ......

30 - Keep on killing angels, Freakazoid.

41 - ........I......HATE......YOU...........................

3 comments:

Fat Free Milk said...

slepp

Reishi said...

I read this.

Reishi said...

I read this.