Chân thành gửi tới các bạn lời chào thân hữu
I am Jane Goodall's Tanzanian monkeys typing about bananas. My fingers are Santa's little helpers. My hope is a sporadic rainfall - yet a torrential downpour in all creative environments. I am Theseus, unspooling golden yarn. Sisyphus, sweating uphill. Bukowski, scribbling away in rooming houses. A river always flowing. I am the nightmare of stagnancy and a God of Imagination.
Wednesday, April 02, 2014
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Sometimes...
I understand what you're feeling by what you write when I read it.
Is this normal?
I'm thinking that I'm quite the opposite.
There are people that have read more of my writing here and can only glean a gossamer of tendrils of who and what I am in real? life. That was a weird sentence.
I'm much more than my writing, even though it's a huge chunk of my soul. I WILL NEVER NOT WRITE.
I WRITE ALL OF THE TIME.
Not as much as I want to - but I do. Scraps of paper. Jot down things in notebooks, write things on other peoples shit.
It's waves, baby. I'm not you. I'm ME.
I'm a fucking tsunami. I sleep. And then. I'm a fucking tsunami again. And then i'm the quietly lapping pond. AND THEN I'm THHHHEEEeeeee tsunami. The little tsunami. A mini-tempest.
I don't know you better then you see me.
I can't decide what to wear.
snorkel
arm floaties
submarine
just drown
or get the fuck out of the water and stay on dry land
until another siren calls to me
Ahhhh...but you just made me write somewhat about you...
SNORKEL
Is this normal?
I'm thinking that I'm quite the opposite.
There are people that have read more of my writing here and can only glean a gossamer of tendrils of who and what I am in real? life. That was a weird sentence.
I'm much more than my writing, even though it's a huge chunk of my soul. I WILL NEVER NOT WRITE.
I WRITE ALL OF THE TIME.
Not as much as I want to - but I do. Scraps of paper. Jot down things in notebooks, write things on other peoples shit.
It's waves, baby. I'm not you. I'm ME.
I'm a fucking tsunami. I sleep. And then. I'm a fucking tsunami again. And then i'm the quietly lapping pond. AND THEN I'm THHHHEEEeeeee tsunami. The little tsunami. A mini-tempest.
I don't know you better then you see me.
I can't decide what to wear.
snorkel
arm floaties
submarine
just drown
or get the fuck out of the water and stay on dry land
until another siren calls to me
Ahhhh...but you just made me write somewhat about you...
SNORKEL
Friday, February 21, 2014
Will You Walk With Me?
in an amount of painful, laborious and sometimes -
long strides...
i hope that my small steps in life
will be recognized
by true friends
lovers
God(s)
all witnessess
and ME -
after this life......
this life of mine......
will you walk with me?
Thursday, February 20, 2014
I Feel Appreciated...
A Thank-You Note to Men
By Mary-Louise Parker
To you, whom it may concern:
Manly creature, who smells good even when you don't, you wake up too slowly, with fuzzy, vertical hair and a slightly lost look on your face as though you are seven or seventy-five; you can fix my front door, my sink, and open most jars; you, who lose a cuff link and have to settle for a safety pin, you have promised to slay unfortunate interlopers and dragons with your Phillips head or Montblanc; to you, because you will notice a woman with a healthy chunk of years or pounds on her and let out a wolf whistle under your breath and mean it; because you think either rug will be fine, really it will; you seem to walk down the street a little taller than me, a little more aware but with a purpose still; to you who codifies, conjugates, slams a puck, baits a hook, builds a decent cabinet or the perfect sandwich; you who gives a twenty to the kids selling Hershey's bars and waits at baggage claim for three hours in your flannel shirt; you, sir, you take my order, my pulse, my bullshit; you who soaps me in the shower, soaks with me in the tub; to you, boy grown-up, the gentleman, soldier, professor, or caveman, the fancy man with initials on your towels and salt on your chocolates, to you and to that guy at the concession stand; thank you for the tour of the vineyard, the fire station, the sound booth, thank you for the kaleidoscope, the Horsehead Nebula, the painting, the truth; to you who carries me across the parking lot, up the stairs, to the ER, to roll-away or rice mat; to you who shows up every so often only to confuse and torment, and you who stays in orbit, always, to my left and steady, you stood up for me, I won't forget that; to you, the one who can't figure it out and never will, and you who lost the remote, the dog, or your way altogether; to you, wizard, you sang in my ear and brought me back from the dead, you tell me things, make me shiver; to the ones who destroyed me, even if for a minute, and to the ones who grew me, consumed me, gave me my heart back times ten; to most everything that deserves to call itself a man: How I do love thee, with your skill to light fires that keep me warm, light me up.
Tuesday, February 04, 2014
Friday, January 31, 2014
Karoshi
これは一生懸命働いていないに向けた私の最初のステップです。私は長生きしたいと思います。私はlovlongerしたいと思います。私はあなたが私と一緒にこれらのパスを移動することもここになりますことを願って、私はあなたが楽しい時間を共有するためにここになりますことを願っています。これを読み取って、みんなに幸せとのれん。
:)
:)
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Write HERE......
Years can go by, Kid
hope becomes stagnant
but out of the murk
and miasmac, primordial messes
germinated from dreams deferred
will and spirits dampened
always comes
LIFE
Years can go by, Kid
and eons/minutes/seconds can too
It never ends, Man
This is where all things come from
where it begins
From there
Right HERE......
hope becomes stagnant
but out of the murk
and miasmac, primordial messes
germinated from dreams deferred
will and spirits dampened
always comes
LIFE
Years can go by, Kid
and eons/minutes/seconds can too
It never ends, Man
This is where all things come from
where it begins
From there
Right HERE......
Sunday, January 19, 2014
I'm Falling Asleep...
I died before
I want to know you better
Before this happens again
Before we wake up
500 Internal Server Error
Sorry, something went wrong.A team of highly trained monkeys has been dispatched to deal with this situation.
If you see them, show them this information:
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Tuesday, January 14, 2014
It's Too Late...
It's part of the problem but I'm fixing it.
You don't believe me - but I am.
I TOLD YOU.
Some big changes have to happen incrementally.
Some small steps get propelled forward regardless of our dancing or dragging feet.
It's much more complicated than this.
You know.
I know.
Anyway.
I have the things written down on the mirror and the books and the blahblahblah
HEY.
Yeah, HEY.
I want to work for that ONE GUY/HELP OUT/WORK WITH?
that I kind of know
that works for MEOWWWWWW
at Cartoon Network
That's 2014, bitches.
No. Seriously. WATCH.
notactuallygoingtohashtagthesentencethatIjustwrote
Thursday, January 09, 2014
I'm happy
I think that I really AM
I have MUCH room for improvement
and my increments of tortoise-like progress
hopefully doesn't race against all of your hare-brained disillusions
Yes, we're all on the clock
but I'm on my own\here
I'm starting this now
anew
not for the finish
but for amazing progress
I WIN
I really think that I do
I think that I really AM
I have MUCH room for improvement
and my increments of tortoise-like progress
hopefully doesn't race against all of your hare-brained disillusions
Yes, we're all on the clock
but I'm on my own\here
I'm starting this now
anew
not for the finish
but for amazing progress
I WIN
I really think that I do
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
There are so many things that I want to do right now
So many things that I want to put down
Mass-Invite for Enders Game
more movies and books
to check out
based on
conversations
need to do the fund-raiser
how is Mark?
ebay sales
more stuff to sell now
my little sister
how is my Dad?
my Mother
doesn't have my number
old companies for
full-time writing gigs
this means travel
or relocating, maybe
finish reading
Area 51
Under The Dome
The Giver
thebookthatSTEVEgave me
The Tender Bar
I846
Doctor Sleep
Night
and more...
Comic Books from the library
BLACK from CNN
research my inevitable Fukishima death
and need to work on my winter garden
eat more vegetarian
Kirkus Review gig
I have notes taped in my kitchen re:social engagements
I need to get more sleep
I want to figure out how to put my "Bartending/Romance" script/mess in my local theater
Now, "Wade" want's me to submit material for a theater XMAS show
"Andy" never got back to me about his lyric rewrites that he wants me to help him with
I need to work on my Fat Free Milk book
Need to remember to go to "Kelly's" art show
"Luis" and I are supposed to play drums and electric bass like we used to
"Tony" wants to do more hip-hop songs
My cartoon script needs a home
I want to build a green house for you/me/us
Visit ALL of my nephews
Ann is dying
My Dad is dying
There is a black cat
in the middle of
the street right now
I need to pound out that dent in my car
I need to fix these XMAS lights
I need to save money for Hawaii,
the IRS
CAR and more...
more dentist work
more Muay Thai again
and finally some Krav Maga
save money for the expensive shoes that I like
sell everything
I need more contact lenses
I need to sell all of my DVD's
Set a date for my next Sci-Fi Club
Have a party
Go to Brooklyn
Joshua Tree like i used to
Buy "Black-Out Curtains"
Spend more time with
April and Jamal
and Chris and Tony
and Joe
and continue to make mew friends
to buy a fire-pit because everybody loves fire
to work harder
to work LESS
to be THE same
but be DIFFERENT
to love MORE
and to HATE less
to look UP more
and to not be so DOWN
I'm giving so much
and giving so many things away
always learning
always yearning
playmorechess
buyabaseballglove
tobuymorearrows
andabetterbow
tobuyagun
and
to m e d i t a t e MORE
and to stretch moooooorrrreeeee
to relearn how to write
to take more trips by myself again
to learn how to install dimmers for my lighting fixtures
to learn what cloud formations mean
coding
programming
to make money off of my dumb websites
to woodwork
to buy the tools to build things
to build my own motorcycle
to go away at least for one week
and to not tell you where I am/have been
to buy fishing equipment
to rotate/restock the emergency supplies in my car
to give creative writing courses
to read The Tarot
to relearn my World Map
to know Astronomy
and to contribute as a business owner to my local economy
to reread my college philosophy books
to write
Gun Arm
PAYNE
Hydromania, Prozac and The Apology
and
to write words for Mike Magowski
and
to write words for Mandie Bee's photos
Funny thing...the other weekend?
He didn't mean any ill-will
but Nick asked me innocently
if I had I hard time concentrating?
I was, like...Duh?
and he said that he and Terry that
that me
especially @home
that I did
I said, like - DUH?
and muttered something about ADHD
I told him about how I cant keep still
how it's hard for me to concentrate
I can. I do. But. I can't all of the time
It's random.
Sometime's selective
Sometime's impossible
It's hard
I'm proud that I've done what I've done
You can help me breathe, relax a bit
focus, for sure
but it will never help
ALL of the time
what YOU get, but most importantly
what I GET is a variance of
1 to 53%
anything above 53%
is a Godsend
and an amalgam of
your beautiful positivity
and my unfathomable love
help me to produce more on paper
on The internet
plant seeds in your mind(s)
to make you smile
to make you read
and
to make you think
to make you happy
to make ME happy
ALWAYS
i know that you wish
and want more of me
and, please
with the support and
the gentle proddings
and the love
I LOVE IT
inhale it
i ingest it
and take it
hoarding the encouragement
But, remember...
I GET BETTER
thinking
progressing
regressing
real-life meets
creative and spiritual life
but?
I have written more things down on paper and on The Internets
and on The Websites
blahblahblah
than you ever have
and than you ever will in your lifetime
I'm not judging you
everybody's different
THERE ARE BROWN SNOWFLAKES
just.kind.of.relax, okay?
encouragement is awesome
GIVE IT
I'll take it
I mean it
just
relax
I get better every day
and with your help
I do
I write things sometimes
and...it's cool
so
like my writing
and
like my life
if I can
put a portion of that down
if I can
put a portion of that down
and convert it into portions that
can drown the portent that I see
friends
lovers
firsts
seconds
then all win
this is all normal
relax
HEY
RELAX
dontlistentothem
dontlistentoyourself
relax
relax
RELAXXXXXXXXXXXXX
there are so many things to get to
towards
backwards
forwards
your mind
popcorn synapses
you will never be able to put everything down
impossible
this is normal
relax
So many things that I want to put down
Mass-Invite for Enders Game
more movies and books
to check out
based on
conversations
need to do the fund-raiser
how is Mark?
ebay sales
more stuff to sell now
my little sister
how is my Dad?
my Mother
doesn't have my number
need to reconnect with
old people from theold companies for
full-time writing gigs
this means travel
or relocating, maybe
finish reading
Area 51
Under The Dome
The Giver
thebookthatSTEVEgave me
The Tender Bar
I846
Doctor Sleep
Night
and more...
Comic Books from the library
BLACK from CNN
research my inevitable Fukishima death
and need to work on my winter garden
eat more vegetarian
Kirkus Review gig
I have notes taped in my kitchen re:social engagements
I need to get more sleep
I want to figure out how to put my "Bartending/Romance" script/mess in my local theater
Now, "Wade" want's me to submit material for a theater XMAS show
"Andy" never got back to me about his lyric rewrites that he wants me to help him with
I need to work on my Fat Free Milk book
Need to remember to go to "Kelly's" art show
"Luis" and I are supposed to play drums and electric bass like we used to
"Tony" wants to do more hip-hop songs
My cartoon script needs a home
I want to build a green house for you/me/us
Visit ALL of my nephews
Ann is dying
My Dad is dying
There is a black cat
in the middle of
the street right now
I need to pound out that dent in my car
I need to fix these XMAS lights
I need to save money for Hawaii,
the IRS
CAR and more...
more dentist work
more Muay Thai again
and finally some Krav Maga
save money for the expensive shoes that I like
sell everything
I need more contact lenses
I need to sell all of my DVD's
Set a date for my next Sci-Fi Club
Have a party
Go to Brooklyn
Joshua Tree like i used to
Buy "Black-Out Curtains"
Spend more time with
April and Jamal
and Chris and Tony
and Joe
and continue to make mew friends
to buy a fire-pit because everybody loves fire
to work harder
to work LESS
to be THE same
but be DIFFERENT
to love MORE
and to HATE less
to look UP more
and to not be so DOWN
I'm giving so much
and giving so many things away
always learning
always yearning
playmorechess
buyabaseballglove
tobuymorearrows
andabetterbow
tobuyagun
and
to m e d i t a t e MORE
and to stretch moooooorrrreeeee
to relearn how to write
to take more trips by myself again
to learn how to install dimmers for my lighting fixtures
to learn what cloud formations mean
coding
programming
to make money off of my dumb websites
to woodwork
to buy the tools to build things
to build my own motorcycle
to go away at least for one week
and to not tell you where I am/have been
to buy fishing equipment
to rotate/restock the emergency supplies in my car
to give creative writing courses
to read The Tarot
to relearn my World Map
to know Astronomy
and to contribute as a business owner to my local economy
to reread my college philosophy books
to write
Gun Arm
PAYNE
Hydromania, Prozac and The Apology
and
to write words for Mike Magowski
and
to write words for Mandie Bee's photos
Funny thing...the other weekend?
He didn't mean any ill-will
but Nick asked me innocently
if I had I hard time concentrating?
I was, like...Duh?
and he said that he and Terry that
that me
especially @home
that I did
I said, like - DUH?
and muttered something about ADHD
I told him about how I cant keep still
how it's hard for me to concentrate
I can. I do. But. I can't all of the time
It's random.
Sometime's selective
Sometime's impossible
It's hard
I'm proud that I've done what I've done
You can help me breathe, relax a bit
focus, for sure
but it will never help
ALL of the time
what YOU get, but most importantly
what I GET is a variance of
1 to 53%
anything above 53%
is a Godsend
and an amalgam of
your beautiful positivity
and my unfathomable love
help me to produce more on paper
on The internet
plant seeds in your mind(s)
to make you smile
to make you read
and
to make you think
to make you happy
to make ME happy
ALWAYS
i know that you wish
and want more of me
and, please
with the support and
the gentle proddings
and the love
I LOVE IT
inhale it
i ingest it
and take it
hoarding the encouragement
But, remember...
I GET BETTER
thinking
progressing
regressing
real-life meets
creative and spiritual life
but?
I have written more things down on paper and on The Internets
and on The Websites
blahblahblah
than you ever have
and than you ever will in your lifetime
I'm not judging you
everybody's different
THERE ARE BROWN SNOWFLAKES
just.kind.of.relax, okay?
encouragement is awesome
GIVE IT
I'll take it
I mean it
just
relax
I get better every day
and with your help
I do
I write things sometimes
and...it's cool
so
like my writing
and
like my life
if I can
put a portion of that down
if I can
put a portion of that down
and convert it into portions that
can drown the portent that I see
friends
lovers
firsts
seconds
then all win
this is all normal
relax
HEY
RELAX
dontlistentothem
dontlistentoyourself
relax
relax
RELAXXXXXXXXXXXXX
there are so many things to get to
towards
backwards
forwards
your mind
popcorn synapses
you will never be able to put everything down
impossible
this is normal
relax
Friday, October 18, 2013
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Oh, SELF. Oh, Fat Free Milk...
I wrote on paper tonight.
Isn't that enough?
Leave me alone, asshole.
Jesus.
Isn't that enough?
Leave me alone, asshole.
Jesus.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Thursday, October 03, 2013
Wednesday, October 02, 2013
Tuesday, October 01, 2013
10
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Monday, September 30, 2013
9
love of
mine.
benign
nigh
night
asinine
assign
ensign
cosign
Bill Nye
restrain
HouseofAlexanderPayne
feign
find
friends
fiends
love. all
in
time.
love is love
love
9-5?
all of
the
time
mine.
benign
nigh
night
asinine
assign
ensign
cosign
Bill Nye
restrain
HouseofAlexanderPayne
feign
find
friends
fiends
love. all
in
time.
love is love
love
9-5?
all of
the
time
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