The Only Thing A Commander Ever Truly Controls Is His Own Army...

Days like the fastest molasses and dreams congeal into uneaten messes.

We never didn't appreciate the moment - but never gave the moments their due - knowing that there would be many more to come. The longing for past innocence creates future guilt. Not longing for longing feelings creates apathy. Apathy creates nothing. Nothing equals waste. Waste equals things that can't be used by you - but always by certain innovative and imaginative others.

And so you read this.

And I'm curious what can be done with these things...
when I'm not around anymore to see the results.

They Go For The Eyes First...

Yesterday, I was stopped at a stop sign and was fascinated by a crow pecking at a dead rat carcass. The rat's body would rise up from the asphalt every time that the crow plucked at it, and then it would thump back down to the ground. I kept on watching until a car behind me honked it's horn. I then ran around and did a bunch of useless errand-type crap, went home and felt like the dead rat I had seen earlier.

I wanted to be the crow.

It's My Little Sister's Birthday...

It is not Flag Day.

Rip Van Shithead...

I have spent the last two nights sleeping on the couch.

Tonight?

Better find out soon, boyo.

Your clock and relationship's tickin like an Al Qeada Dirty Bomb.

I Am Using The Largest Type Because My Eyesight Has Failed Me...

I feel like I've been blinded by Evil Ash from Armys Of Darkness.
Jason Voorhees has sliced my throat.
Freddy Krueger has stabbed my gut.

Micheal Myers is chasing me down dark hallways.
Frank The Bunny won't get out of my head.
Tyler Durden keeps knocking out my teeth.

And those stupid ferrets from Beastmaster keep on shitting in my boots.

Postage Will Be Paid By Addressee...

When I read this, I will be sitting bored in an insurance office.
I will wonder why I didn't write anything better, but then, I will yawn and remember how tired I was the night before, and what a long day it had been. I will congratulate myself on writing anything at all. I will take a drink of my Coke, read this again...and then it will all make a lot more sense. I hope.

House Of M...

It's cool that you want to talk to me about comic books at the grocery store. I usually don't get a chance to talk about nerdy things that I like with that many people, but...please just dont speak SO LOUDLY. Telling me HOW COOL THE CURRENT BATMAN STORYLINES ARE RIGHT NOW is not socially kosher there, bubba. Even if I'm just standing there by the flowers and holding windshield wiper fluid, paper towels and a six-pack of Bud Light.

It's just uncomfortable being outed like that.

Y'know...with the Bud Light and all...

The Battle Of The Bulge...

We need to eat first and then we'll drink more AND THEN WERE GOING TO PLAY KICKBALL.

A Memorial Day, indeed.

Before...

getting home from bartending for almost twelve hours. I limped through the supermarket and bought Gatorade, cigarettes and a Tombstone pizza. I then saw two Coyotes in front of my house. I made hissing noises at them. They both smiled at me. Not moving. So I threw an old Wu Tang Clan casette tape at them and then they ran off.

From Hell...

The keys feel like hard Play-Doh.
Am I finding it hard to concentrate because of the Abshtine/abshthinse/abracadabra stuff of my friends that I drank tonight? Now, trust me - i'm more of the boobt boring type. Only Bud/boring light and maybe the occasional mixed drink combined with the usual madness, but I don't even like taking Aspirin. I've had my fair share of madness back in the exploratory years - but liquor-ish crud never makes the night for me.

But, tonight my friend had some Absithne/abdkdwejkrd. I had alot. Stuff that we can get in America is weaK. i tHINK THAT i WAS BUZZED AND ALL THAT IT MADE ME WAS DRUNKER. TRY TO EXPLAIN THAT TO MY GIRLFRIEND AND MY FRIEND'S GIRLFRIEND. i FELT LIKE THE ONLY GUY IN THE ROOM WEARING PANTIES. i NEED TO TURN THESE CAPLOCKS OFF.

If you don't listen to Atari Teenage Riot or to Alex Empire - then die of your own non-noisy poo.

I will take bets that I'll feel like Atari Teenage Riot tommorrow, though.

I'm finding it hard to concentrate. I want to laugh, write and rip your head off.

So, apparently this crap doesn't work because this is how I normally am.

Absithne be damned.