Lucky Lager Had The Right Idea...

And don't you think that it would be cool if they posted comic strips on the sides of beer cans, Bazooka Joe style? Or maybe like they used to on the thermos things from our childhood lunch boxes? It give some people other things to do other than watch soft core porn and baseball. And you know that by the time the majority of people got the joke, because everybody knows, if you're drinking a tallboy of Budlight in a can, then you're a slow idiot like me - It'd be time to crack open a new one. Or pee. Or to shoot a rabbit from your front porch or something.

Pardner.

Kurt Wagner...

I'm sorry, but somebody just did a google search on fake nightcrawler teeth and wound up on my site. Nightcrawler from the new X-Men movie, not nightcrawlers - the fishing bait. Anyway, kid? Fake nightcrawler teeth? You should have bought some on Halloween for about a couple of bucks. They were right by the Werewolf and Vampire make up.

Oscar...

It is astounding how much trash and dirty dishes a two-person household can produce. If I had kids, it would be worse? Sometimes I think that this place is a factory and that I'm the janitor, and just that nobody's told me yet. Where's my benefits, damnit.

April Greiman?...

Damn, I forgot. A friend of mine gave me twenty bucks to write a paper for her advertising and graphic design class. The dork doesn't even know when it's due. So, I might have to tackle that pronto, Tonto. I used to do a small amount of this in high school. I'd write a paper or monologue for lazy people. I'd get five bucks or a six pack of beer. Even after high school, I use to work with a dumb kid, who had a lot of money or a big allowance or something. He'd pay me a crapload to write his papers for him I didn't feel any guilt with this guy, because he really didn't give a crap about anything other than smoking pot and racing cars. After he graduated, I heard that the kid spent a lot of time in and out of jail. Dummy. But then, he might be doing better than me now, who knows?

Now, I don't feel like writing a paper. I'm either really dumb...or I need to up my asking price, doody-fresh.

Building A Robot...

I just erased my post by accident. Bastards. I just worked almost fourteen hours. Tomorrow, I will do nothing at all. I will try my hardest. I swear. I will pay a bill, and call the dentist back, but that's it. I want to sleep. I will wake up, eat, and then go back to bed. I will Drink beer and roll up my girlfriends change when I am asleep also. I'm serious. I will not answer the phone. I will check my comments. I will dot my eyes and cross my tease. Ha. What? I don't know. That was stupid, yo. I want to do absolutely nothing. I will die for a day and cease to exist. I will hire a Puerto Rican midget to handle all of my affairs tomorrow.

I will love you forever. I will be dreaming about throwing things at your crotch. Thank you.

The Incredible Mr. Limpet...

I had so many things to say today, and now I'm just kind of puttin' around. I was going to write about a couple of things, but erased them. I just didn't have it in me to write anything that actually required effort. I haven't been able to focus on writing in the last couple weeks or so. I've also noticed that less people visit this, now that I'm not stuck at home with the broken ankle. I had a lot more time on my hands and the opportunity to post more. Maybe I'll jump out of a car again and break the other one? My ankle still hurts and I can't walk for extended periods of time. It starts to hurt and swell up. I felt like a goon at Disneyland the other day. I was the guy, when you're getting off of rides, that slows down all of the people trying to leave. Sorry, folks - but fuck off. Don't make me limp on over to you, try to kick you, and then fall down.

Just Said To Me By My Girlfriend...

You're an angel............of darkness.

Ha Ha Ha! I think.

The Mud People Cometh...

I live across the street from a beautiful park. Today, when I came home, there was a huge tanker/truck thingy, and a man shooting out new sand out of a big tube into the playground. I stood, fascinated for a bit. I had the urge to call the fire department and see if I could have them shoot an equal amount of water out of their hoses at the same time, so that we could have the mud fight of all mudfights. This is either a kid's fantasy or a pretty homoerotic one.

Then I thought that it would be cool if I slipped the sand guy some bucks to spray some in my backyard so that I could have an awesome summer/beach type party with umbrellas and lawn chairs, but I didn't think that the landlord would appreciate that, and maybe all of the neighborhood cats would use it as one big litter box. I might be tempted also...

So I didn't ask.

Baa...

Sometimes sleep is good.
Sheep are good sometimes too.

The Happiest Place In My Crotch...

The phone is ringing, but I just got a bad feeling, so I'm not going to answer it. After I'm done with this - I'll tell you who it was to prove my psychic empathies. Anyway, I'm going to go to Disneyland or California Adventure to eat, but will be in the parks. Does anybody want anything or want me to punch Mickey Mouse in the asshole again? Since I'm there anyway.

I just checked my phones voicemail. It was my girlfriends work. Nostradamus, I ain't.