Happpy Kevynn Malone Day!

For those of you who don't know, I created my own holiday. It was an excuse to drink and to give away a prize. And now that I'm a non-ambulatory, gimpy guss, this day is even more special than before. Take a look at the previous post and see how one can participate in the festivities.

I have already pooed.
Read a Spidey comic.
And here is my first beer, Bubba...

AIM name - Bubba Ho Tep 75
Email - Kevynn75@hotmail.com

Kevynn Malone Day Is Tomorrow...flex those typing fingers and massage that liver...

For those of you who do not know. I have officially decreed tomorrow, Kevynn Malone Day. It is a holiday for me, created about me. It's about drinking and bugging me on the computer. it's about AIMing everybody and writing on this piece of shite website. There will probably be way too many posts by me tomorrow. And it's about a contest too, yo. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be home all day. Ian has volunteered his services on Kevynn Malone Day. He will be the Secretary Of Drunkeness. I will do nothing but write and drink. Especially with this fucking broken ankle now. Do you like prizes? The first person that completes all of these chores gets a grand prize from me. The second gets a just-as-cool prize, but not-as-cool as the first.


· You must drink at least one alcoholic beverage.
· Poop at least once during that day.
· You can’t take off your shoes unless they’re work shoes.
· No sleep until midnight. ( I’m being generous to you here )
· You have to eat a salad. Any salad.
· Buy and/or read one Spiderman comic. I've included a link for the lazy bastards.
· Go to a toy store or at least think about it.
· Take out the trash.
· And make a comment on all these websites if they work:

I love you...

Britney Spears Naked...

Sorry, I only did that for the million Google hits I'll get.
Have you ever seen or met a celebrity? Who was it and what did they look like/say to you?
Did they smell?

I once walked right past Anthony Keides when in Hollywood. He is very short. He was coming out of a liquor store when I was coming in. My father met Colonel Sanders and Emperor Hirohito. Not in the same day. I saw Charlie Sheen twenty minutes after seeing Anthony. He was coming out of The Viper Room. I've met all of the members from Bad Religion. They're way too nice to be punk stars. I met Chuck Henry. Not Buck, but Chuck...

Hmmm...who else.

I wish I'd meet an ankle doctor...and a millionaire...

Kevynn Malone Day. March 5th!!!

Quick Question...

What do you freaks think about this AudioBlogger thang?
I'm tempted to try it. Well, I'm tempted to try your mom too, but that doesn't mean I go with all my urges.

Kevynn Malone Day. March 5th!

If It Ain't Broke, Don't Jump Out Of The Car Then...


Six weeks off of work? How the hell can I do that? Please tell me that somebody put there is a millionaire so I can pay my bills/rent/porn fees. You would have to be a computer geek too. I don't know how to hook up that Paypal crud.

What the hell am I going to do in my freetime? I can't walk. My girlfriend's at work now, I'm all alone. Yesterday a bunch of friends came over and brought beer, cheese, and chips. Then my Hymen broke and they all left. Google search: Hymen. Besides the finacial woes, I think I will be nibbling crackers and drinking water while finishing screnplays then. Then by the time I'm all healed, I can give one to that lady from MGM. Then I'll kick her in the crotch and run away on my newly healed ankle. I'm gonna smoke...I'll be back in thirty six minutes....

I like Boz. Boz likes Me. Post Exchange.

"Wtf, all the comments from January 29th have disappeared.
Don't worry boz, they'll be back.
You really think so?
Trust me.
Your name isn't Pop is it?
Why?
Because my pop told me to never trust anyone named Pop.
No, this is the voice of your conscience.
You mean ...
Yep, Frank Sinatra.
Could you sing a couple bars of Moon River?
That was Andy Williams you putz.
Sorry, I've gotten the two of you mixed up since the time I fell off the truck.
Welp, Dino and Sammy are calling, I'm outta here.
Hey, is it true what they say about Juliet Prowse and Jill St. John?
--POOF--"

Lucas...

Broken glasses.
Broken ankle.

Fuck.

If I Only Had A Cam...

You could watch me hobbling around...

I'll make fun of me...for you, okay?

Gimpgimpgimp?

Here's the next to the last of the Something Something Grand Ennui/ Fat Free Fetish Chili Cook-off or Something.

"I recieved the gift from Kevynn, the purveyor of Fat Free Milk, that we agreed upon as part of our "Exchange Things We Already Have, and Want to Get Rid of, Instead of Polluting the World With More Useless Christmas Gifts, That We Probably Don't Want or Need in the First Place" program. I recieved two CD's. The first CD was the hauntingly beautiful, hardcore techno, ultraviolenceKILLING GOD. The second CD was THE LENNY BRUCE ORIGINALS VOLUME 2. (Who knew Lenny was so original that he needed two volumes?)
I will be reviewing the aforementioned CD's sometime tonight, or by tomorrow at the latest, honest.

ultraviolenceKILLING GOD - Johnny Violent
I'm not a fan of techno, it sounds like elevator music on speed. This CD is neither good nor bad, it is just there. Maybe if I had some glowsticks, a pair of Doc Martens, and a hit of XTC I would get it, but I don't, well I do have the Doc Martens, but I still don't get it, but that's ok, because, really, I am supposed to get it? One piece of advice, don't listen to this CD if you are feeling mildly suicidal and there is a razor blade nearby, it can only come to no good.
-boz-

THE LENNY BRUCE ORIGINALS VOLUME 2 - Lenny Bruce
I can't really give you a review of this CD because I fell asleep while listening to it. Quite frankly it is dated. What he was talking about back in the early 60's, though avant garde at the time, would scarecly raise an eyebrow today. Lenny Bruce at his best was social commentary and not stand up comedy, and it should be viewed as such. He was not in the same class as Newhart, Winters, Sahl, Berman, Cosby, or any other of a long list of hip young stand-up comedians of the time, but no one pushed the envelope like he did, and that is how he should be remembered. 'nuff said."

Word Of Advice To All You Folk...

When in an argument with your significant other...and when you tell her that you want to Get The Fuck Out Of The Car!...Don't actually jump out. It'll remind you what pain is all about, and why grown men shouldn't jump out of cars. Ankle bones are brittle. Hobbling around is not tough. Arguments always start for the stupidest of reasons.

Sometimes being single is less painfull...

Ouch.