Thursday, November 28, 2002


Penguins...

1 . Most scientists recognize 17 species of penguins (del Hoyo, et al., 1992):

  • Emperor Aptenodytes Forsteri -- Class of penguin that helped sway Anakin Skywalker to the dark side...

  • King Aptenodytes Patagonicus -- Made good music. Got Fat. Produced a kid that could kiss Micheal Jackson...

  • Adélie Pygoscelis Adeliae -- Was Early Grace's girlfriend in Kalifornia...

  • Gentoo Pygoscelis Papua -- Lesbian penguin that has to bring her girlfriend everywhere...
  • Chinstrap Pygoscelis Antarctica -- Football Jock Penguin.

  • Rockhopper Eudyptes Chrysocome -- Lives in New Mexico, does psychedelic drugs...

  • Macaroni Eudyptes Chrysolophus -- Smokes alot of pot, still lives at home with his mother...

  • Royal Eudyptes Schlegeli -- Penguin who dies in a tunnel or writes this website...

  • Fiordland Crested Eudyptes Pachyrhynchus -- Ummm...like a penguin that enjoys water and land bridges and stuff...sorry...

  • Erect-Crested Eudyptes Sclateri -- Viagra penguin

  • Snares Island Eudyptes Robustus -- Likes to set traps penguin? Sorry, again...

  • Yellow-Eyed Megadyptes Antipodes -- Penguin with Jaundice...

  • Fairy (also known as little blue) Eudyptula Minor -- Penguin who dresses real nice...

  • Magellanic Spheniscus Magellanicus -- Portugese penguin who first circumnavigated the globe by sea...

  • Humboldt Spheniscus Humboldti -- Penguin who grows the best weed...

  • African (formerly known as black-footed) Spheniscus Demersus -- Penguin who still thinks Spike Lee is a good director...

  • Galapagos Spheniscus Mendiculus -- Vonnegut Penguin...



Lame, yes...Sorry. I was going originally going to write about The Penguin from the Batman comic books and then talk about what a psycho Batman is, but this was easier-so lick it, Brian!...

Okay. No more. That whole 'write me a word' experiment was harder than I thought it would be. Next time I'll just ask for nudie pictures in the mail...





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