12/29/05

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Bees Make Honey. Cows Make Milk. Couples Make Babies. I Make Messes… For 29.95 you can have unlimited calling to my heart, and for just 9.95...
12/21/05

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Jesus Gave Me A Twenty Dollar McDonalds Gift Certificate And A High Five... Christmas would be a lot more fun if people were only allowed to...
12/12/05

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Deus Ex Machina Piece Of Crap... Writing will be infrequent due to my computer always shutting off by itself whenever I try to start it up. ...
12/07/05

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Ten Years Ago I Was Jumping From Moving Cars Onto Front Lawns And Hurting My Ankles... So I guess my type of activities hasn't changed ...
12/05/05

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The Hands... of tragedy have big, fat, fucking sausage fingers .
12/03/05

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Dead Like Me... So, I confirmed my skydiving trip. In nine days exactly I will be plummeting to the earth after ejecting myself from a plane...
12/01/05

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An Ambitious Lucifer Morningstar Creates A New Cosmos Modelled After His Own Image... Attractive lady with a kid stopped by my office asking...
11/30/05

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The More That I Talk To You... the more that we'll argue so I won't talk not argue I wish that we could talk like the other people d...
11/25/05

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Miyagi Walks... Girlfriend's talking to me about shopping sales. I'm pretending to listen. I think that I was going to talk about Ca...
11/23/05

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On 11/25/05, I Will Be Asleep In A Cryogenic Tube Dreaming About Koi Playing Lazer Tag To The Mos Eisley Cantina Jazz Ditty... UPDATE: I su...