Fat Free Milk

We Suck Young Blood... I think my fucking head is going to blow up. It's simmering low, but getting warmer. Psssshhhhhhh...you hea...

Uggg... Friggin' naps. Always making me feel all Pilsbury. Since when did I start taking naps, anyway? It's all your faul...

Did You Know That Elvis Presley Had A Twin Brother?... No, not it wasn't me. I'm not that old. Geez. I'm...how old am I? ...

Oh, Now I Can Post... Now that everybody's on their way home. Word of advice: Only listen to classical music or opera when stuc...

*?@#$!!!... Do they even show cartoons on regular TV anymore? They don't play in the morning, it's all news shows. I can neve...

Hello?... So, my girlfriend left on Monday for Europe. Right now she's in Jolly Ol' London drinking tea. Yeah, right. She'...

Good From Afar, But Far From Good... Okay, back to normal stuff... So, one of my friends is dating / humping this young girl. Met h...

Seriously... I mean no disrespect. I suffer from a bad case of dumby, poopy-ness when it comes to my ill attempts at humor. I give one...

Squish... Happy Memorial Day. Today we give remembrance to all of the snails we've smushed, either accidentally or purposely. ...

Bimbo Baggins... God damn, did I get slammed at the bar tonight. I did get a rousing round of applause from all of the drunks, at ...