Thursday, December 07, 2017

noh

oh
so easy for YOU to judge me
because I'm still awake today
yet
YOUR decisions yesterday
you've forgotten already



Tuesday, November 28, 2017

dragftdraftdraft THIS IS HOW THIS LOOKS RIGHT NOW. I'D RATHER DO SOMETHING ELSE THAN COMPLETE THIS BEFORE I GO TO BED IN 8 HOURS draftdraftdraft


There will never be enough words
and enough time
to fill the space that i need
in all of the emptiness that youve provided
and in all other voids that exist within all of the voids

i cant
ive known this
dont you?

i have
i do
sometimes
ive tried harder
sometimes i dont try at all defintely dont do as much as some
and maybe i can do more
i try
but I know that its a lot more than you

at least ive tried
and, hey
this place is my constant


rememebr that its usually been your choice
as to how much you continue to look at the person in front of you
or of the things that the person in the mirror that painds you in the mirriri
its been up to you as to how much time that oiuyve been choosing to stare into the abyss
teyre the person who has a lot less control than you do
ans also remember
becaus etheyre the ones who have to see their oreflectionion in the mirror
and also remember

the abyss could also be saying the same thing about you right now


Friday, November 24, 2017

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

I'm not the same

but maybe it"s a good thing
is it a good thing or a bad thing or a thingthing
that I thinkthink
too much
and feelfeel too much
the boat
and the mostest
of these feelings
my heart emoting
the closest

that I'm feeling

It's not the same


My Heroes......

Gene Kelley
Stephen King
Jane Goodall
Spike Jones(z) (Both of them, I guess)
ALF
David Addison
Danny from Grease and from Kaye
Peter Parker
Dick Greyson
Dennis B.
George Little
Anne Rich
Nien Numb

Friday, September 22, 2017

Friday, September 15, 2017

Friday, May 12, 2017

Thank you...

Brianne
Ryan
Ted.com
Jenny
Laura
Matt
Gretchen
Nikki
Paul
Mark
kyle
wilsons
April
Jamal
Chris
Sam
Sarah
Jen
Alan
Anne
Ron
Amy
Courtney
Paul!
Josue
I'm sorry, Bobby.
Yay, Jesse.
Amanda Lindsey
Fran Lindsey
Lizzie J
Lizzie H
Luis
Kelly Chid
TONY
CHRIS
JOE FUCKING PITOCCO
Dawne, sweet, little Dawne
Oh, Rachel
Dennis B. DUDE. So much.
Bob. M.
My Austin friends.
My Alta Loma friends.
Adam Langlois
Larry.
Steve.
Martha.
Johnsons
OMG, Patma
Danma
Jesse Cripps
La Tour
Snavema



Thursday, May 11, 2017

Hi.


I'm at least, halfway through my life.

I want to be a Ferris
to your Simone
to be a Danny
to your Sandy
Pee Wee
to your Chairee

mooooo

later



Saturday, April 08, 2017

My 30-Year Old Self Interviewed My 40-Year Old Self...DRAFT

My 30-Year Old Self Interviewied My 40-Year Old Self...DRAFT

Describe the 40 year old's house from the 30 years old's perspective. Like he's a legit interviewer. Describe the set up for the interview. And the room and the house that the interview is taking place in. Describe some of the 40 year old's mannerisms, etc.

30 - Before we start - I've got to say...I'm a HUGE fan.

40 - What? Seriously? That's kind of dumb. You...WE used to interview bands a little bit back in the day. That's what you say as an introduction? I - WE hate that shit! What's wrong with you? You okay, dude? And I'm looking at you too, dude You look fucking skinny, man. You look like I would if I did drugs. But you don't, I know. You need health insurance too and dental insurance. Seriously. Get that shit.

30 - You look...well. Ummm. Wait. What? Seriously. I mean - I am. I'm doing it, you know - I've just gotta -

40 - Nah. No, you're not.

30 - So. Uhmmm. So......you're not married, huh? And no kids? Dude. what happened?

40 - Nothing.

30 - I know, but - you know, I just kinda thought by now that -

40 - Nope. You and D broke up when you were 32. Sorry, buddy. Then came C and then came M and then came L and then came R and then came another M. Some were tiny dating relationships and don't really count. You have this to look forward to in the next ten years, dude. But it's good. It wasn't bad. Obviously there were some pretty heart-heavy and emotionally, fucking, heavy months and years but - it's okay. You will learn a shitload of stuff, my friend.

30 - Holy crap.

40 - Yeah...

30 - But what happened?

40 - Nothing, really. It's just people, man. Like I said - you'll learn a lot.

30 - Who was your - our favorite? Like, who did you -

40 - Dude. Seriously. Ask me something else.

30 - Okay. Sure. Ummm...Soooooo....I don't know what to say now.

40 - DUMB.

30 - Dude, that's not cool.

40 - Sorry. I'm not trying to be a dick. I love you. DUH. I really do. I'm just super tired and I get bored easily. ADHD, madness, compassion and I'm trying to bail out water in this tiny, yet tough boat that I'm in. I've got enough shit on my plate, man. Like, I'm sitting here -SUPER FUCKING TIRED. Like, I feel like I'm dying. Like I'm fucking dead. I'm dead when I'm awake. I'm a kid. I'm a zombie. I'm stupid. I'm wicked smaht, though. WICKED SMAHT.

30 - That sounds dumb.

40 - Yeah, dude. I'm sorry. Seriously. You've got a lot ahead of you.

30 - No. That sounds dumb what you said.

40 - What?

30 - I don't think that you've grown up that much, man - this is just what I'm saying. you like to talk. WE -I like to talk, yeah - for sure, but - DUDE. You sound just like me right now but just filled with more bullshit. you're not giving me that much hope. I mean, you're totally -

40 - Seriously? Awww...fuck yourself then. Go write some poetry, go...GO FUC

41 - HELLOOOOOO??????

30 - Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

41 - HEY!

30 - ( Slepp murmuring) I THOUGHT THEY SMELLED BAD..On..THE INSIDES...

41 - WAKE UP!!!

30 - DUDE. This is bumming me out.

41 - I fucking hate you. I hate this...wait...how can I hate THIS? Like...THIS? DUDE. I don't really hate YOU.

30 - Yeah. You hate you. Stupid hater-guy-future-jerk.

41 - ............

30 - Every time that you write a period in an elipsis an angel gets cancer in their hollow, brittle bird bones.

41 - ......

41 - ......

30 - Keep on killing angels, Freakazoid.

41 - ........I......HATE......YOU...........................

Thank you, Dear Reader...


The subject is misleading but fitting. We have never met. I just wanted to reach out and thank you. 

Somehow I stumbled across your blog years ago. I don't know why or how but I know when and it's the when that matters. I was going through some things. I lost someone close to me. I needed an escape. I didn't know what to do or how to cope. That's where you come in. You see, your blog inspired me to write. I have read every entry and whether it was a quote or lyrics or something personally philosophical it spoke to me when I needed it.

So sincerely, thank you. Thank you for helping me cope, inspiring me to write (even if its only for myself), and continuing to do your blog. Because on nights like tonight it's nice to check in and see if you've written anything new. It's nice to be able to randomly stop by and say "hello old friend". 

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

ADD ADHD

ktm
Describe the 40 year old's house from the 30 years old's perspective. Like he's a legit interviewer. Describe the set up for the interview. And the room and the house that the interview is taking place in. Describe some of the 40 year old's mannerisms, etc.

30 - Before we start - I've got to say...I'm a HUGE fan.

40 - What? Seriously? That's kind of dumb. You...WE used to interview bands a little bit back in the day. That's what you say as an introduction? I - WE hate that shit! What's wrong with you? You okay, dude? And I'm looking at you too, dude You look fucking skinny, man. You look like I would if I did drugs. But you don't, I know. You need health insurance too and dental insurance. Seriously. Get that shit.

30 - You look...well. Ummm. Wait. What? Seriously. I mean - I am. I'm doing it, you know - I've just gotta -

40 - Nah. No, you're not.

30 - So. Uhmmm. So......you're not married, huh? And no kids? Dude. what happened?

40 - Nothing.

30 - I know, but - you know, I just kinda thought by now that -

40 - Nope. You and D broke up when you were 32. Sorry, buddy. Then came C and then came M and then came L and then came R and then came another M. Some were tiny dating relationships and don't really count. You have this to look forward to in the next ten years, dude. But it's good. It wasn't bad. Obviously there were some pretty heart-heavy and emotionally, fucking, heavy months and years but - it's okay. You will learn a shitload of stuff, my friend.

30 - Holy crap.

40 - Yeah...

30 - But what happened?

40 - Nothing, really. It's just people, man. Like I said - you'll learn a lot.

30 - Who was your - our favorite? Like, who did you -

40 - Dude. Seriously. Ask me something else.

30 - Okay. Sure. Ummm...Soooooo....I don't know what to say now.

40 - DUMB.

30 - Dude, that's not cool.

40 - Sorry. I'm not trying to be a dick. I love you. DUH. I really do. I'm just super tired and I get bored easily. ADHD, madness, compassion and I'm trying to bail out water in this tiny, yet tough boat that I'm in. I've got enough shit on my plate, man. Like, I'm sitting here -SUPER FUCKING TIRED. Like, I feel like I'm dying. Like I'm fucking dead. I'm dead when I'm awake. I'm a kid. I'm a zombie. I'm stupid. I'm wicked smaht, though. WICKED SMAHT.

30 - That sounds dumb.

40 - Yeah, dude. I'm sorry. Seriously. You've got a lot ahead of you.

30 - No. That sounds dumb what you said.

40 - What?

30 - I don't think that you've grown up that much, man - this is just what I'm saying. you like to talk. WE -I like to talk, yeah - for sure, but - DUDE. You sound just like me right now but just filled with more bullshit. you're not giving me that much hope. I mean, you're totally -

40 - Seriously? Awww...fuck yourself then. Go write some poetry, go...GO FUC

A VERY SERIOUS RUMBLING. ROLLING THUNDER. LED ZEPPELIN LIGHTNING. A SEAM IN THE FABRIC OF OUR REALITY SPLITS SUDDENLY. WE SEE A BLOODSHOT SHARK-LIKE EYE OF AN OLD GOD. TESSERACTS, RIFTS, BLEEDS, SHIMMYS, HADRON DEMONS POUR THRPOUGH DIMENSIONAL TEARS LIKE THE TEARS OF

They wake up. Sudnly . lik a bed dreem from

DUDE!

I haven't seen you in a while! How are you? Are you well?

Dude, like - seriously! How are you?