Friday, April 27, 2007

Explanations for the post below that you cant steal...

1. fish tank

Dont remember what this one was about -


2. why I love life now


Dont care what I love about life now, writing about what you hate makes better subject matter

3. buying beer “lookout!” story

Crap, do I really have to do this? One time, me, Tim, Mike, Joel and Tony were trying to "pimp" beer in high school - something that I ALWAYS hated doing, standing around in front of a supermarket or liquor store and trying to get somebody to buy you alcohol. Sometimes it could take 5 minutes, sometimes it could take you an hour. All of this so that you could get wasted and wander around in the bushes or sit on a bench in a public park. Sometimes, girls were involved, but with this group of guys - girls weren't, because if I was hanging out with them that night, then it was nerd/drunk-fest in a park.

Anyway, one of us approached a guy - he seemed REALLY willing, looked like a hybrid homeless guy - not homeless, but looked like it. He took our money and then when he came out he said to follow his truck with the camper shell and meet him down the street because he didnt want to hand over the booze in front of the store. Fair enough. Makes sense.

Thing that sucked was that, so the hybrid homeless guy now has all of our alcohol with him and we're following him. This guy drives not down the street but about five minutes down the street into the back of a wherehouse building. We park behing him and all get out. He starts to act like the handing off of the alcohol is like a drug deal. So, I'm standing there, looking around, feeling nervous and listening to this guy chatter away in his raspy homeless voice that's not homeless and what does that really mean and little did I KNOW that I WOULD be homeless myself and sleeping in parks and staying up all night in 24 hour donut shops about a year later. That's the karmic backlash for being a judgmental prick, I guess.

So, I'm standing there by the hybrid homeless guys truck with the camper shell and notice that the windows have a tint to it but is also taped up in p[laces. There's cracks and gaps in the campewr shell's windows. I SEE A BODY RUSTLING IN THE BACK. Like legs shifting. Did i just see an eye!!!

I freeze up, I mean fucking freeze the fucking up, my blood just grinds to a halt and I can hear the screeching in my head - but I can't say anything because the guys are nervously listening to the hybrid homeless guy talk about cops and what he used to do as a kid and to watch out, etc.

We get the beer and slowly walk back to the car, my mouth wants to shout out to the guy that Buffalo Bill from Silence Of The Lambs is in the back of this guys car and he's probably wearing a GIMP mask, my legs want to run - but I do nothing.

As were all safely back in the car and Mike starts to drive away, I tell the guys what I saw in the back of the truck - right then, the hybrid homeless guy yells, "LOOK OUT!!!"

We all screamed, Mike slammed his foot on the gas and we peeled away.

The rest of the guys told me later that they thought if they looked back that the hybrid homeless man would have a shotgun in his hands -

The image that I conjured up in my head was horrific and emotionally scarring and shall never be repeated again.


4. timid vicki stepmom who covered her teeth when she laughed, her three beautiful children + amy daughter.

Picture her two older sons/my step brothers, who looked more like Arayan Mormons thatn anything else and my hot-ass older step sister and that's all there is to the story.

5. punching butterflies from the sky


This was more rough imagery that I conjured up - that made sense at the time and I guess still makes sense to me even if it doesn't reflect how I feel or the character that I was imagining that was writing this sentence felt (huh?)

Now, I think, it would be more like "Punching Financial Security And People WWiliing To Hand Over Their Comic Book Stores For Me To Own From The Sky"

2 comments:

gledwood said...

I don't get this ...

kev said...

It's an old list of scribbled story ideas that I found and I'm trying to explain what I meant of them.