Aunt Beru, Uncle Owen, And Carnie Wilson Nude Pics...

Real quick. Sunday night I got out of the bar early. Wow. Met friends at another bar for drinks, kept one friend out too late who shoulda been home to wake up early for work. I buy him a shot when he starts to look tired because I'm evil. Bartender poured himself a shot when I ordered it and was waiting for me to take mine. I told him that I wouldn't drink the crap, it wasn't for me. He gave me the finger and walked away. Then at my friend's house I watched all of the other friends drunkenly taking running jumps into a huge pile of those big orange road construction pole thingies. They started to throw them around into the street like the responsible twenty-somethings that they are. I thought that it was really funny, then thought that it was only a matter of time before they got hauled away by the coppers considering my friend lives down the street from the P.D. Yeah, right down the street. So I ran downstairs to clean up their mess. My friends ran upstairs when I ran downstairs. I was thinking that with my luck - I'd end up getting blamed for the whole deal. Surprisingly, nothing happened to me. Weird.

One friend poured a bunch of water on me - the ho bag. I opened up my friend's desk in the apartment and threw all of his pens, pencils and matchbooks all over the apartment. It was fun. Next time, I'll buy some more pens of my own, so that I have more to throw. I watched the water throwing ho bag hump one of those construction sandwich board blinking like doo dads that another friend took upstairs with him. I eventually went home when the drunks got tired.

I got in an argument with the gal friend. That lasted until daylight, so I slept through a lot of the morning, which meant that I missed my counseling - I mean, counselors appt. at the college. Cat peed on the bed. Did laundry. Went to the video store. Toys R Us. Bought crayons at Target. Went to comic book store and asked the comic book owner guy about a copy of Fantastic Four #49 that I saw in a pawn shop the other day. He got really excited about it and told me to buy it. I felt like a nerd. I don't think I'll buy it; the one that's worth a lot of money is the one before it. Super dork, yup. Called gal friend on payphone (Yup, pay phone) and asked her to a movie. Saw the piratey movie. Liked the piratey movie. Am going to trade my gal friend for Keira Knightley. Sorry, gal friend. I hated the three. Yes, three baby-toting couples that were in the theater at the time. I will tell you this - if I ever see another baby in a theater, I will pluck em' from your arms and chuck it out the emergency exit door. I'm sorry - but fuck off. Parents should not be allowed to ever try to have fun when I'm around. Especially when I'm trying to figure out what the hell Johnny Depp is mumbling.

I came home and relaxed, did nothing productive, went out in the backyard and thought about watering the backyard. Twenty minutes later - it started to rain hard. I should've thought about a million bucks. The gods answering water-based wishes only works in the favor of drought-stricken farmers and Indians. Huh?

I forgot what else I did today, and now I'm pissed because it's getting late and I'm getting hungry again. Didn't I just eat? I hate eating. Blah. Nutrients, my arse. Have a good day today. I'll be working...bringing food to people's tables, thinking about comic books, writing the great American novel, and cat pee.

Good night, Keira.
Good night, folks.
Good night, Bob Hope.